Lian Makes 4

Greetings and Housekeeping

2011-12-24T07:56:00.003-05:00

From our Family to you; Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a Happy, Healthy and Properous New Year. Ring in the Dragon! Yes in a marathon posting session, I have updated the blog for an entire year. But to read all the posts, since Blogger can't show them all, you will either have to read them and then click on "older posts" at the bottom or head over to the archives section on the right column and click on December 2011. Yep there they are, month by month, plus extra additional bonus- New Years Wishes.

December 2011

2011-12-21T06:57:00.006-05:00

Community Tree lighting and nativity

Santa #1 at the tree lighting

Santa #2 at the Cleft Team party

LiaVietnamese culture exhibit being taken for a ride

Practice for being a mom; tote that diaper bag, and lift that child, have a few too many white wines and land in therapy (with apologies to Paul Robeson)

Mary and Joseph waiting in the wings at Pageant rehearsal

Reheasrsal - the Christmas eve production will be in Church

Making cookies for caroling

Entering the North Pole

Santa's sleigh

With the Big Man

Adding on to the already extensive Xmas lists

Sending off the request- her list now has over 50 items, hum we need to talk about consumerism

Cool digital feature at Santa Land

There are 6 more pix like this despite Mama's pleas to "just smile for one second!"

Visiting the lions in NYC

At Rockefeller Center with Donna

And Mama

It was spectacular

Making a friendship wreath at school - all the hands are formed into a giant wreath.

Caroling reindeer

Caroling -we go to Grandma Pines house too

Decorating Grandma's tree

Cookie Monster, or rather Microwave S'more monsters

Getting to the end finally. And now we’re headed into the main event, Christmas. Party number one, sponsored by Lian’s Cleft Team was at the County Children’s Museum, always a fun event. There was a terrific display on folktales from Vietnam, Santa visited – with presents - and they could spend as much time in the bubble-arium and hanging climber as their hearts desired. Santa # 2 was at the community Xmas tree lighting and live nativity. Next up, cookie baking for the Xmas caroling party. We went caroling, which includes racing around town in a car convoy to various houses, and then back to church for cookies and hot chocolate. Jamie sang in the Messiah concert, the girls squirmed in the back pew until I sent them out into the cloister to color. So much for culture -in Lela's words, "But it's BORING." Santa #3 was the big kahuna, the Man himself, or at least one of his top eleves, says Lela, at Macy's Santaland. If you go , go on a weekday right afrer school - only took 25 minutes. Then we walked up 5th Ave to see all the Xmas decorations, and had dinner with Lian's Godmother and my long time friend, Donna. Santa #4 visited church coffee hour last weekend.

Lela has a big role this year- she has been cast as Mary in the church Christmas pageant on Christmas Eve.

We are not going out to WI to visit my family this year, as the logistics are not working in our favor -school is not out until the 24th, and since we don't really want to spend Xmas eve in a hotel in Ohio, we'd have to leave Monday, drive 2 days out, stay 3 days, drive 2 days back. Christmas will be with Chris and Christy this year. But we will have lots to do. Surprise visitors showed up this week, the girls' good friends, Meiling and Ian, arrived with their Dad from China for a visit with their grandparents. We're planning playdates and outings with other good pals. And of course, after Xmas shopping.

November 2011

2011-12-20T23:45:00.005-05:00

Lela the toothless wonder

Making cookies after Thanksgiving dinner - because we NEEDED more sugar

Thanksgiving crowd

Setting the table

Turkey Trot runners and workers

Off to the races

Watching the sunset

Disney on Ice

Princesses at Disney on Ice

Fog rolling across the Bay (hey I have to squeeze in a pretty picture or two)

Harvest Fair at our church

November and we got a new car! Well, we got a really old (1996) van with very low mileage, so now I can tote the girls, friends and paraphernalia. The Subaru was maxed out with 2 kids and their boosters. Now we need to sell Jamie’s old car. Our church also called a new rector, Father Huntley and family, from far away Jersey, the Isle, not New. And we had our annual Harvest Fair, lots of work and lots of fun. Lela was a big loser - her two front teeth on a Monday and a lower one on Tuesday. The Tooth fairy was working overtime. We went to Disney on Ice for a second time and they still loved it. Turkey Day. Our church collected many bags of food for the local food pantry, organized by the Youth Group. Jamie and Lela ran/walked/cartwheeled in the local 5 mile Turkey Trot- with zero prep, so 1:27 is not too bad. Lian and I worked registering and handing out medals – I’m on the board of the local charity that the race benefits. Later, we were joined by old friends of Christy’s who were visiting NYC, so 12 for dinner and almost no leftovers. I cooked a turkey breast a few days later just to satisfy that turkey sandwich craving. I did most of the Xmas shopping on Black Friday and cyber Monday from the comfort of my computer. Gotta love it.

October 2011

2011-12-20T23:33:00.003-05:00

Riding with the Brownies

Haloween horrors!

School Halloween parade

Halloween Parade

Tae Know Do Halloween Party

Horse grooming with the Brownies

Off on an adventure

Daisy outing. Watching the bridal pictures was a much bigger hit than the great outdoors

Daisy outing

October is mostly a run up to Halloween, with the important decision of “what to wear?” looming large. They finally settled on Jasmine (from the Disney version of Aladdin) for Lela (I had to haunt Ebay for her costume) and Cinderella for Lian (which we already owned.) They trick-or-treated with friends (parents following at a suitable distance) and brought home masses of candy, which lasted into December. The girls also took a chess class at our great local library. Lela’s Brownies troop took a field trip to a horse farm and got to groom and ride, little girl heaven.

2011-12-20T23:25:00.002-05:00

The International Beach Clean up

Goofy girls at Chuck E Cheese

Quiet momment with papa

Face painting at Town Family Fun Day

It rained the first day of school

September – back to school. I am definitely in the “most wonderful time of the year!” camp. Our district gets off to a slow start, with their first full week of school starting on the 12th. Lela started gymnastics and piano and Lian started Tae Kwon Do. We shelled out big bucks. Really big bucks. Lela is a natural, placing with kids who have been doing gymnastics for years. Lian had a taste of TKD at the summer culture camp and really liked it. She’s already gotten the yellow, blue and red stripes on her white belt. Yellow belt testing is the day before Xmas eve and she should move up. Once again, the annual International beach clean up, my 14th year as beach captain. And the tenth anniversary of 9/11. I wrote about it here, http://lianmakes4.blogspot.com/2011/09/september-11.html

August 2011

2011-12-20T23:00:00.004-05:00

Off to Madison

Ella's Deli a fun family spot

Beautiful Wisconsin

The corn box at the County fair

And the Ferris Wheel

Sno-cone at the County Fair

Lela would ride all day

Love the carousel at the Madison Zoo

Love grandma too

Goofing with Aunt Gillian at the Capital

Out to dinner with Grandma and Grandpa Wilson

Sleeping over at Grandma Pines during hurricane Irene

Shore Road flooded

Sunset Park with under water

I wasn't going to let Irene blow the fig off the tree, so we brought in bushels.

August brought one of our semi-annual treks to the wilds of Wisconsin to visit my parental units. Highlights were the zoo, swimming and a small County fair, which featured a corn box, as in a giant sandbox, but with corn kernels, in which the kids could play. Corn is very dusty. Their favorite - the hotel pool where we stayed on the trip. Yes this is a theme. We said goodbye to Mother Barbara who has been the interim rector at our church and my boss for the last year. But we will see her again- she’s only in PA, and not too far from Dutch Wonderland. And I turned (hum, hum) years old. We had a visit from Hurricane/tropical storm Irene, and dodged the bullet this time. We only got 4 feet of tidal flooding, vs. the 10 that had been predicted if it hadn’t slowed down by running into New Jersey. Thanks New Jersey. Still lots of local road flooding and we went up to Chris’s house for the night. We only had power out for few hours, but friends were in the dark for well over a week. Just in case, I had cooked up most of the stuff in the freezer on the theory that it’s easier to keep cooked food, than watch raw food you can’t cook spoil. Chicken ala orange, fig cobbler, brisket... it was a tasty week.

July 2011

2011-12-20T22:35:00.005-05:00

Sleepover. We don't have enough blankets and pillows mom.

Lela and Meiling got to conduct at a summer band concert

Swimming Summer

Da Girls

Entering Dutch Wonderland

The bathing beauties at friends hotel pool

Jet setters

They went on the flying swings about 15 times.

An Amish petting zoo

Culture Camp

Waiting for class at culture camp

Curious Cloudy

In July, the girls’ good friends, Meiling and Ian, arrived back from Shanghai, China to spend the summer with their grandma. We spent nearly every day with them, taking swimming lessons, playing and swimming at “grandma” Barbara’s pool. I took the girls to Dutch Wonderland with our good friends Denise and Bob and their daughter and another of the girls’ best buddies, Holly. Lela and Holly are adrenalin junkies, so were well matched and went on every ride as many times as possible - except the big roller coaster, as that required a consenting adult. Surrounding the park is beautiful Pennsylvania Dutch countryside of Lancaster. The girls attended a culture camp for Asian adoptees, mostly Chinese and Korean. Lots of big kids, which is good for them to see, and lots of their friends there, which made it fun. It was the hottest week of the year and we sweltered, especially during cooking class. The ice cream truck that arrived after lunch did a roaring business. We had a tragedy, when one of our formerly feral kittens, Cloudy, took a mysterious fall in the bath tub and died. He had just turned one. His obituary is at http://lianmakes4.blogspot.com/2011/07/goodby-cloudy.html We miss his feisty personality and peace making ability. After he was gone from the mix, the brothers, Simba and Rajah, started ganging up on our still mostly feral cat, Patch, forcing him to live under our bed. Now we have to lock the brothers in the kitchen at night so Patch gets some play time. Simba and Rajah were born in our house to their three-legged feral mom, Elsie, last July. With optimum nutrition they are now adult sized at about 15 pounds. Not fat, just HUGE. Another cat-astrope, in November, Elsie fell out the back door when I opened it and after a year and half in our house, instantly reverted to feral. We didn’t see her for 10 days and feared the worst, but now she is at least showing up to be fed on our back porch. But she runs from us if we try and approach her, sigh.

June 2011

2011-12-11T09:03:00.003-05:00

Lela's First Intentional Communion

Lian's Kindergarten graduation picnic

Brought to you by the letter "I"

The graduate

Last minutes as a Daisy

Brownie circle

It got warm enough to hit the beach.

Slugger Lela played softball.

Lian's class studied Monet. Her rainbow haystack.

Chris's 90th birthday party

June was school’s end and some big events. Lela had her first intentional Communion, and her flower girl dress from Jason’s wedding actually got another outing. (Hey I am Scottish on both sides of the family.) In the Episcopal church, you can take communion as long as you are baptized and I wasn’t going to fight with them at the altar rail, so they have been receiving for years, but this is after classes so that she really understood the meaning of the event. Lian graduated from Kindergarten. She had started the year in the contained classroom for speech, but did so well that by January she was mainstreamed. We are so proud of her accomplishments, especially when you consider she has only been speaking English for three years, and needed significant surgery to be able to speak at all. Lela whizzed through with a perfect report card, though you wouldn’t know it from the angst we got during homework. Lela bridged up from Daisy to Brownie Girl Scout and played soft ball. She's a pretty good hitter. Chris turned 90. Her party ended up being at the end of school picnic, held in the gym because of rain. Christy brought the cake.

May 2011

2011-12-11T08:37:00.006-05:00

New built in kitchen book case under construction

General Contractor loses it

All the stuff waiting for the new bookcase and cabinets

The new fridge and stove. So clean and shiny. That's Cloudy checking them out.

Lela (Ham's wife) in Noah's Ark

Visit with Sita

Two in one.

Field Day

Memorial Day Parade

Memorial Day picnic at the church after the parade

Mother Barbara made water balloons for the kids

May meant remodeling. After mucho researching, we bought a new stove (to replace the one that had been dead for many months, meaning no baking) and fridge, since the one we had was pushing 20 years and was no longer cleanable, ugh, is that ooze on the shelf now a sentient life form? While we were at it we moved the fridge location and built a new built-in bookcase. And more - I gave the sermon at church on environmental stewardship, Lela portrayed Ham's wife, the nearly unpronouncable Neelatamuk, in the Noah's Ark play at church, and we visited my childhood friend, Sita, who I haven't seen in decades. There was Field Day at the school, not as blazing hot as last year, and Lian lost her bottom teeth in time for her graduation pictures. Memorial Day we marched in the local parade, me with the Community Chest, the girls with their Girl Scout troops, then adjourned to our church rectory for the annual picnic, where a good time was had by all.

March April 2011

2011-12-11T08:17:00.005-05:00

Fu Man Lela at Lian's birthday dinner

Lian's family birthday party

The ice cream cake. I'm getting better at it.

Friends Party

With big cousin Evan

All the Pines

Museum of Natural History NYC with cousin Oscar

Easter Vigel

Easter Family

In the violets

Spring has sprung.

March brought some thaws and Lian’s birthday, number 6. Chris had a fall and she was in rehab. So Lian’s first party was dinner at our favorite Chinese restaurant and presents at the nursing home with Grandma.

April was very busy. Lian’s friends party was early in the month, with dress up and ice cream cake. Since all they eat of regular cake is the icing, I have learned to make an ice cream cake – take 5 containers of whatever is on sale, a variety of mixing bowls and containers, lined with saran, layer it up, re-freeze, assemble with toothpicks and lots of whipped cream and sprinkles, re-organize the freezer to fit. April brought a visit from the Canadian Pines, Jamie’s brother Kirby and nephew Evan. We also had a visit from my sister Gillian and nephew Oscar, with a fun day trip to the Museum of Natural History. And Easter. We participated in all the services from the Great Vigil to the joyous Easter morning. And spring really arrived with a bloom. That’s when our micro-yard looks its best and I’m reminded that back when I did some gardening I put in lots and lots of bulbs, clever me.

January February 2011

2011-12-11T08:04:00.004-05:00

Local History and Nature festival

Luanr New Year party

With dragon dancers

Basketball girls

Ready to launch

TOO MUCH SNOW

Snow ladies

GO snow-daddy, GO

Disney on Ice extraveganza

Pinata line up for Lela's 7th birthday

The cake

Ice skating teacher

January was dedicated to Lela’s 7th birthday, with family party, cupcakes for Sunday School, craft and story at school, and finally the friend party. I took the girls to their first Disney on Ice, Princess version, which was a huge hit. And we had snow, lots and lots of snow. Some might even say TOO BLINKING MUCH SNOW.

February is quiet, as Jamie could manage with one family birthday party. We also celebrated the Lunar New Year (Rabbit) with our friends at FCC (Families with Children from China.) I worked with other local NGO’s to create a new event, a festival of local history and nature. The girls continued their skating lessons, which they were finally enjoying since they could stay on their feet. Lian is fearless, whizzing about the ice like a tiny about to go out of control rocket. They also played basketball. Lela can sink a ball, her Queen of the Monkey Bars status having given her the upper body to really toss it, and she’s got a pretty good eye too.

Xmas 2010

2011-12-11T07:29:00.004-05:00

New Year's Eve

On top of un-named Mountain, without any snow

I did make it to the top

Carrie got the hot-dogger. Long story short, we've been passing it back and forth between our family and Saffians for nearly 40 years now, taking elaborate steps to disguise what was coming.

CJ turns 50. How could that happen, since I'm not that old yet?

Fun in the Georgia snow

Family photo - guess who got photo-shopped in

Mom and Dad

Oscar Smiles!

Xmas #2 in GA

The trip to GA

Christmas dinner

Chris and her annual giant calendar

Xmas day with Chris and Christy. Let the unwrapping begin!

(I'd forgotten how Blogger posts your pix in reverse order, tre annoying, so they are chronological from bottom to top)

The annual review, where to start? How about last Xmas, with our annual trek to a Wilson family gathering. After Xmas day in Port with Chris, it was off to Carrie and Jerry’s new home in GA, driving through a blizzard the last 50 miles in the mountains, on small winding roads, in the dark. White knuckles all the way, such fun. We had Xmas #2 on the 27th. Their house is a beautiful wood lodge, and was very picturesque in the snow – which then conveniently melted 2 days later. We hiked (or staggered, gasping, in my case) to the top of the mountain behind their house and admired the view. We had Carrie’s 50th birthday and New Years Eve, for which Jerry had acquired some fireworks. The highlight of the trip for L & L? The heated pool at the hotel on the way home.

New Year's Wishes 2011

2011-12-11T07:23:00.003-05:00

(I wrote this last year, but re-reading, decided it was good enough to run again)

These past years have been difficult for so many people, with anxiety about the economy and what that meant; jobs, homes, income and the prospect of losing one or all. It’s easy to lose sight of what is important, and perspective can narrow to tunnel vision. I’m not an expert of any sort, but I’ve learned from past crisies that the essence of a family is keeping those you love safe and together, not the size of your house or number of possessions. Those are things and things can be replaced or done without. If your house was burning, what would you grab - the children or the stock certificates?

Once you have it in your mind that you CAN live without the stuff, it is remarkably freeing and peaceful, even if you are still surrounded by a mountain of plastic kiddy krap. Separating out what is important from the accessories allows you to see them for what they are. No one ever died from the lack of a flat screen, Bluetooth, or designer clothes. A safe place to live, warm clothing, enough clean food and water – that’s pretty much the essentials list. There are many people on this globe who can’t even lay claim to those, so I feel the blessings we have received in the luxury of being able to want more…..but not really needing anything.

So my prescription.
First, my tough love reminder - We don’t get that many days on this planet, don’t waste them whining or feeling sorry for yourself. As my mother often reminded me, “God helps those who help themselves.” And as I have learned, also those who know when to ask for help.

There is rarely “nothing” left. The best things in life come in all sizes of packages, and many are free to boot. It’s a cliché, but you only get to be a cliché by being obviously true.

There is an ever changing world outside your window, glorious and awe-filled, better than any movie. The eternal cycle of rebirth enacted every year, from the first hint of green, the explosion of eye-popping spring bloom, the hum of insects lulling the warm air, gold and red tints overtaking the trees in a wave, the delicate tracing of ice on a window pane, and a deep plunge of white blanketing the still earth. Orchestras of tiny birds whistling in the trees or swooping overhead, a butterfly ballerina cavorting over a field, the deep smell of fresh earth, a hint of rain in the sultry summer air, the fragile taste of a snowflake landing on your tongue, contemplation of the infinite in the night sky - is all free of charge. You just have to stop and enjoy it. “Stop and smell the roses” is not just an expression, (and another too true cliché) but a way of life. Protecting the beauty and variety of that creation for the future is the responsibility laid on us in exchange for its delights. Dominion is a duty, not an invitation to pillage.

Cheap is good too! Less meat, more veggies are good for your wallet and health. Walking ditto. Good for the planet too. Shop…sales, EBay and Craig’s list (not a paid announcement.)

You are surrounded by love and concern. Family and friends are there. Appreciate them even with their all too human imperfections. Keep remembering, “Let he or she who is without sin…..” (a very small and exclusive group.) Be someone else’s angel, smile, give an unexpected compliment, a note or card just because. A trip out of the house is not complete unless you’ve brightened someone’s day. Kind words are free!

Do what ever you can, and maybe a little more. A small sacrifice can make someone else’s life better. This year our Thanksgiving was about family and food, but also about giving; to the coat drive by the school district, supplying the local food pantry, volunteering. Many drops do fill the bucket.

Pray for those beyond the reach of your arms, in fear, danger, sickness, hunger, surrounded by darkness real or perceived.

Count your blessings, especially those most amazing of gifts, children. They are a bequest, to you and to the future. Shower them with love and attention rather than riches, (plus education, home work checking, manners, and firm boundaries) and they will grow to be the kind of people you admire. And if you do it right, they will admire you too.

Merry Christmas or the politically correct seasonal salutation of your choice, and a happy and healthy New Year to all!

Love, Jennifer, Jamie, Lela and Lian

September 11

2011-09-11T07:38:00.003-04:00

I originally wrote most of this essay in 2006, on the fifth anniversary of September 11, so my daughters will have a connection with that event other than a page in a history book. (Though I have hundreds of images of the Towers, this is not my picture, I was pre-digital in 2001)

September 11, 2001

Where we live on Long Island, the Towers and the Empire State building were visible on the sky line. September 11, 2001 was a beautiful fall day, sunny, a little cool, with a cloudless bright blue sky. It was primary election day and I was poll watching at our village hall, when people coming in to vote started to mention that they'd heard something on the radio about a plane crash. Since the only TV was in the hall with the polling machines, and you're not allowed to have any news reports on during polling hours, I went home to get my little TV for the office. At home I switched it on just intime to see the second plane go in. The reports were very confused and soon we lost most of the TV and radio stations – their transmitters were on top of the towers. Frantic calls met "system busy, try again" messages. The primary was canceled and I drove up to our church about a half-mile along the shore line. Across the bay and over the trees on the far shore, a volcano of black smoke was rising from the funeral pyre into the bright blue sky.

At the church office, Father Kurt was calling all the families that he thought might be affected. We heard some stories of miraculous happen stance – one mother was on her way to a conference at the Towers, when she got a call that her son was sick and came home. Another was due for a meeting, but got sent on a last minute trip out of town. The village clerk's fiancée was on his way to work to One World Financial, but his train was delayed. My husband was at work in Queens and left home when it became clear that it was not a day for ordinary business. It took him hours to drive the 15 miles home. My sister-in-law was at La Guardia airport waiting for her plane for a business trip when it happened. She's a fast thinker and she raced out and got a cab to my mom-in-law's house. We didn't know where she was until she arrived at the door. She couldn't get home to Connecticut for three days.

Some were not so lucky. For one family at our church, Daddy would never come home. One of my fellow Trustees had two nephews who worked on the top floors. They didn't get out. The son of friends was in the building – he and a co-worker made it out only to have his friend killed in front of him when he was hit by someone leaping from the upper floors. A Transit Policeman who lived a few streets from me with his wife and two small children, was stationed at 42nd St. but commandeered a bus with four of his buddies to go and help. He didn't come back. His funeral was at the Catholic Church across the street from our house. A full honor guard filled the streets. His wife’s immense composure and honesty when she spoke at the funeral still resonates. She told how her initial reaction was anger – “Why did you have to go?” The squirling of the bagpipes and drums in that packed church provoked the primal senses, making the tiny hairs on arms and stiffen in response. I talked with one of the pipers who looked very tired. He said he'd been to over 30 funerals in less than two weeks.

In the days immediately after, things were chaotic. No one was quite sure how to help or where to go. Traffic was a snarled mess as access to the city was closed and then reopened with security checks. But there was also unexpected peace- no planes over head, people stayed at home, nighttime was filled with silence, unusual in New York. Two days after the Towers fell, the wind shifted and a delicate rain of ash and the smell of carnage came out of the sky. The third day we drove my sister-in-law back home to Connecticut. Going over the Throgs Neck Bridge, the skyline of Manhattan fills the horizon to the east. A plume of pale white smoke was still rising up from the crater and the cluster of buildings at the tip of the island looked like they were clustered around a fallen companion.

There was a tremendous sense of fellowship and empathy in the days following. Complete strangers came to each other's aid. Drivers were polite! The crime rate was almost zero. But as time wore on, it all reverted back to what we accept as normal.We've become inured to low flying planes – when the US Tennis Open is in town, the planes are rerouted from over the stadium to over our house. Arguments over 911 memorials, too modern, ugly, in the wrong place, have subsided. Our girls, who had not been born when the planes went in, will read about it in history books. If we are really lucky they will never understand the visceral fear created by a low flying plane, wonder if a morning commute will be the last act on earth, or experience the terror that was the object of that horrifying act. Or experience the outpouring of love and support and determination to rise from the ashes.

The Towers

Along with the lives that were lost, so were the buildings, icons on New York’s skyline for a short time. About the kindest thing that can be said is that they were not architecturally distinguished, especially since they were up against the detailed beauty of the Empire State and Chrysler buildings. There was some nice detail of soaring pointed arches at the base, but seen from a distance, as they most often were, they looked pretty much like someone had jammed two immense sticks of margarine on end into lower Manhattan. In some ways they personified New York’s attitude - all business and in your face, “You don’t like the way I look, Babe? Get an (expletive deleted) life!” But they hummed with life of thousands of people working and transiting through the office, shops and subways.

It was what you saw from the Towers that made them special. The restaurants and deck on the top floors offered amazing vistas and made for memorable occasions. Going for drinks with two friends to celebrate, watching the moon rise from above. Going with my mother as a culmination of her visit, seated at the window as the sun set and the glittering panorama of the city rolling away to the horizon. Even the bathrooms at Windows on the World were worth the visit - pink and white stone, mirrors and sparkling lights, an array of free toiletries, lotions, hair mist, since your tiny evening purse could not carry those luxuries.

The Towers became an integral part of erratic EKG spikes of the city skyline. They poked up in the background of thousands of images. When they were gone, they created a void, a negative space in the sky. My children don’t feel it, the Towers are not part of their visual vocabulary. But I still look for something that is gone, feel a small shock of surprise when they are not looming at the end of an avenue.

Goodby Cloudy

2011-07-31T07:03:00.005-04:00

Cloudy's favorite way to snooze, cat yoga style

With BigEyes

As a kitten, chowing down with best bud, Tiger

With his mentor, and look alike, Sneezer (Cloudy on R)

Playful baby

We had a tragedy at our house last night. During story time there was a commotion of falling objects in the bathroom, and when I sent Lela to see what the cats were doing, and she screamed, “Cloudy is hurt.” Cloudy was lying on his side in the tub struggling to breathe and as I frantically tried to help him, he gasped his last breath. We don’t know what happened; maybe he slipped while jumping up to the top of the window in the tub stall and hit something, broke his neck, maybe he had a seizure or stroke. We’ll never know and the outcome is the same, our beloved Cloudy is gone.

Cloudy entered our lives just over a year ago. I saw a feral kitten clinging to a tree in the backyard and decided that I was fast enough to grab bare handed. He sank is tiny fangs right through my thumb, but I didn’t let go, just screamed all the way into the house. Two days latter he was chasing a feather cat toy and snuggling up with his loud motor boat purr.

He was the most playful, curious and mischievous of the five kittens we’d add to the menagerie that summer. Probably the smartest too. He watched our old boys, BigEyes and Sneezer and mastered the art of pulling a door open with the flip of a paw. He invented Steal the Stopper from the Bathroom Sink, and was an incurable thief of small trinkets. Hair elastics and scrungies were not safe from his paws. He had corralled all the little plastic dinosaurs in the house for his personal use, and played Cat Hockey like a pro. Scale the screen door was another of his favorite stunts, except when his claws would get stuck and he’d have to yell for me to lift him down.

He was on the earth for a short time, but managed to secure a family, home and good buddies - tiny Tiger was his best bud and they would wrestle and chase for hours. He was fearless and that may have used up his nine lives in a hurry. He marched to his own drummer – he was the only cat who didn’t appear for the nightly ration of canned cat food, he liked dry better. He loved to snooze lying on his back with his all white tummy and paws taking the breeze, especially on a windowsill. He was on the small side, but had an enormous yodeling call, MUROWP, and extra loud purr. He was part of the morning patrol that would escort me to the bathroom at 5am. He loved to hang out in the tub where he met his end, sliding around on the cool porcelain, trying unsuccessfully to steal the drain stopper (attached to a chain).

Today that brave, mischievous spirit is gone and we’ll bury his body next to our old dog, Sally, in the back yard. We love and miss you Cloudy.

Coda. A week later, I woke up at 4am, early even for me, so by 8:30 I was ready to go back to bed. The girls were sleeping in so it was quiet. I lay in bed drifting in and out, half asleep, half awake. I felt one of the cats lie down by my head. I opened my eyes and saw Cloudy next to me. I wasn’t surprised or startled. I said, “I love you, Cloudy”, closed my eyes again and was filled with an immense peaceful happiness. While I still miss him, it no longer hurts. Or at least it didn't. It's very hard to recapture that feeling now, but I know he is happy somewhere in cat heaven. I'm just grateful that I got a chance to say goodbye.

moving

2011-06-20T10:47:00.001-04:00

over to Facebook. You may have noticed I haven't update in quite a while. But I'm over on FB, so if you are a friend, send me a friend request.

Goodbye Sally

2010-04-05T22:48:00.004-04:00

Sally not long after she came home

Our old girl

Goodbye Sally
Today was Sally’s last day on earth. The cancer that had been growing in her had made Sally the rocket dog too tired and wasted to even take a step towards a squirrel flipping her the tail from 10 feet away. Even the formerly siren attraction of canned cat food was no longer of interest.
Sometime in February we had noticed she was losing weight and took her into the vet. He told us he could feel a mass growing inside and it could be diagnosed, but it wouldn’t really matter. She got painkillers and steroids to make her feel better and we went home to wait for the end. We had hoped she would chose her own time, but it was not fair to keep her with us failing and in pain. So we all went to the vet’s. Barbara, our minister, met us there and prayed for Sally and us. Then Sally was given a shot and slid away gently as we held her and cried. Now her body is sleeping in the back yard sprinkled with daffodils, tucked into a clean sheet with her teddy bear and a note from Lela (Sally we love you very much) and her spirit is running free again in dog heaven, young and whole.
Sally’s decline has been hard for the girls. It is not their first loss, but it is the first death they have directly experienced. Lela has been arguing for the defense, “Why does Sally have to die? Why can’t she choose her own time? Why do you get to choose?” Both of them have had bouts of grief as the reality sank in, Lian screaming and kicking for a half hour, Lela weeping in wrenching sobs. But they both decided they needed to be with Sally at the end.
Sally came to us by a strange path. We had rescued a dog that was lost and running blindly down a busy street. In the process of finding her owners we contacted a group called Friends for Animals. They had a lot of rescued dogs that needed homes. We had lost our oldest dog, Ginger, a few months before. The rescued dogs were housed at a veterinarian’s clinic. We went one day to look. We saw a several dogs, but not one that seemed right. The woman showing us said she had one more, but she was in a different area because she had puppies. The puppies had all found homes but she had not. She told us that the dog they called Sally had been rescued with a pack of dogs that was living in an abandoned lot. She had been so fierce despite her small size that they were not sure they could catch her, but she was so hungry that she went into a crate to get food. Then they found what she was guarding, four plump healthy pups, nestled into a bed she had made in a discarded car seat. She was a good mother and had given everything to the pups and weighed only 25 pounds, and had thin, coarse hair. She had also probably been hit by a car, because one back leg was atrophied with a huge lump of bone and a white scar, and she ran on three legs. The good back leg was muscled like Arnie Schwarzenegger. She had clearly once been a pet, because she was friendly once she realized she was safe. The vet estimated she was about one or perhaps a bit older.
In a crate was a skinny dog with enormous alert ears and markings like a German Sheppard. She was eager to see us, so we took her for a walk. Our Scotty, Duffy, was there to give his approval and she frisked up to him. We said yes and she jumped into the car, and then at home hopped right up on the couch like she had always been there. That was December 1997.
What we found out latter was that Sally did not like strangers, even though she immediately took to us. She loved us with fierce devotion, but her protective zeal made it hard to even walk her when other people were around. We wondered what she had been through as she also hated bikes and even baby carriages. Older men were her least favorite. Our next door neighbor did manage to win her over with dog biscuits to the extent that if she got out of the yard, she would race over to his door.
Sally was not a name we would have ever chosen, but she knew it and responded to it, so we kept it. So she was Sally my Gally, Sally Girl, Sally the Rocket Dog, and Silly Sally. I spent a year massaging and stretching that bad leg and when I saw the scar turn pink I knew I was going to win. By the time she was home a year, she was once again a four legged dog, though that leg would never be entirely good. Even still she was amazingly fast. We were even told she should train for agility competition. She never touched the steps on the porch, but would take a flying leap out and a flying skid to the door on her way back in. She shed her sparse “lost” fur and grew a thick, soft, shiny coat. The fur on her ears was like velvet. She put on 10 pounds and was still trim. But she never lost something of her time on the street. She could snatch and devour a bit of errantly dropped food, or edible (to her) bits on the sidewalk in lightening fashion, knew how to remove a trash bag from a can, and hold down a tin can to clean it out.
She bossed Duffy and tried to boss Disa the cat. But Disa had learned long ago that if you don’t run, they can’t chase you. So there were ultra slo-mo “chases”, with Sally nudging Disa’s rear and Disa eventually getting annoyed at this usurping brat and giving her a good whack on the nose. So Sally learned to live with cats and eat apple cores, because, they might be weird, but Duffy liked them so she wanted her fair share. Eventually Disa passed on and we got The Boys, BigEyes and Sneezer. BigEyes and Sally competed for most attention, but Sneezer loved Sally like Pepe Le Pew loved that black cat. He would rub himself against her purring, and she would look at him, as if thinking “You are a CAT, weird boy.”
Sally came camping with us on trips to Wisconsin and upstate. One night something – a skunk, a coyote? sniffed around outside the tent. Maybe even a bear, as Sally and I both sat silently (not her usual mode) and alert as we following the progress of the sniffing. I can see Sally sitting intent, bat ears trained alertly, as a pack of coyotes howled in the distance and plopping her belly into a stream to cool off on a long hike. Once Sally managed to meet a skunk and spent the rest of the vacation tied to a tree and being doused with tomato juice. Sally loved the sun and would sit with her nose pointed to the rays, eyes closed, until her black fur was too hot to touch. I could almost see a reflector, Jackie O shades and smell the coconut oil.
Then Lela arrived home and Sally wasn’t sure what to make of this creature that crept on the floor and was smaller than her, but clearly a person. When Lian came home, she was terrified of Sally, who only wanted to be friends. But in a few months latter, Lian was bossing Sally. Sally took her demotion from number three to five in the pack pretty well, eventually deciding, “Hey, if they have hands they can pat and give me food.”
The Sally that I want to remember is cavorting with springy bounds. Shoving her muzzle into fresh snow and tossing it up. Rolling to make snow dog angels. Stealthily stalking a squirrel, and leaping high up the tree trunk in her effort to bag one. Sneaking up onto the end of the bed in the early morning, and hogging all my leg room. Slinking up on the couch and plopping her head on my lap with a sigh. Waiting at the door when ever we came home, tail wagging furiously.
Goodbye dear Sally. We love you and miss you.

Happy New Year!

2009-12-31T08:10:00.002-05:00

Now with Christmas behind us, a long week of no school and New Years arriving, I pause from shopping and wondering why there are no cookies left to reflect on the meaning of season. Joy to the world was a little hard to keep in mind as I hurtled from nth hour purchasing to appointments with the plumber, electrician and dryer repair guy and home in time for the school bus. I’ve never been so far behind for the holidays before, no cards, one batch of cookies, shopping, wrapping and decorating on Christmas Eve. Bring on the stress and guilt.

This past year was difficult for so many people with anxiety about the economy and what that meant; jobs, homes, income and the prospect of losing one or all. It’s easy to lose sight what is important, and perspective narrows to tunnel vision. I’m not an expert of any sort, but I’ve learned from past crisis that the essence of a family is keeping those you love safe and together, not the size of your house or number of possessions. Those are things and things can be replaced or done without. If your house was burning, what would you grab - the children or the stock certificates?

Once you have it in your mind that you CAN live without the stuff, it is remarkably freeing and peaceful, even if you are still surrounded by a mountain of plastic kiddy krap. Separating out what is important from the accessories allows you to see them for what they are. No one ever died from the lack of a flat screen, bluetooth, or designer clothes. A safe place to live, warm clothing, enough healthy food – that’s pretty much the essentials list. There are many people on this globe who can’t even lay claim those three, so I feel the blessings we have received in the luxury of wanting more…..but not really needing.

So my prescription for the New Year.

First, my tough love reminder - We don’t get that many days on this planet, don’t waste them whining or feeling sorry for yourself. As my mother often reminded me, “God helps those who help themselves.” And as I have learned, also those who know when to ask for help.

There is rarely “nothing” left. The best things in life come in all sizes of packages, and many are free to boot. It’s a cliché, but you only get to be a cliché by being obviously true.

There is an ever changing world outside your window, glorious and awe-full, better than any movie. The eternal cycle of rebirth enacted every year, from the first hint of green, the explosion of eye-popping spring bloom, the hum of insects lulling the warm air, gold and red tints overtaking the trees in a wave, the delicate tracing of ice on a window pane, and a deep plunge of white blanketing the still earth. Orchestras of tiny birds whistling in the trees or swooping overhead, a butterfly ballerina cavorting over a field, the deep smell of fresh earth, a hint of rain in the sultry summer air, the fragile taste of a snowflake landing on your tongue, contemplation of the infinite in the night sky - is all free of charge. You just have to stop and enjoy it. “Stop and smell the roses” is not just an expression, (and another too true cliché) but a way of life. Protecting the beauty and variety of that creation for the future is the responsibility laid on us in exchange for its delights.

Cheap is good too! Less meat, more veggies is good for your wallet and health. Walking ditto. Good for the planet too. Shop…sales, EBay and Craig’s list (not a paid announcement.)

You are surrounded by love and concern. Family and friends are there. Appreciate them even with their all too human imperfections. Keep remembering, “Let he or she who is without sin…..” (a very small and exclusive group of which I am not a member.) Be someone else’s angel, smile, give an unexpected compliment, a note or card just because.

Do what ever you can, and maybe a little more. A small sacrifice can make someone else’s life better. This year our Thanksgiving was about family and food, but also about giving; to the coat drive by the school district, supplying the local food pantry, volunteering. Many drops do fill the bucket.

Pray for those beyond the reach of your arms, in fear, danger, sickness, hunger, surrounded by darkness, real or perceived.

Count your blessings, especially those most amazing of gifts, children. They are a bequest, to you and to the future. Shower them with love and attention rather than riches, (plus education, home work checking, manners, and firm boundaries) and they will grow to be the kind of people you admire.

A happy and healthy New Year to all!

Christmas 2009

2009-12-29T07:40:00.006-05:00

Lian's class holiday party. The kids performed several songs and then had treats and gifts.

The world's cutest elf!

An impromptu carol sing at church coffee hour. The risers were out for rehearsal of the pageant.

Caroling, caroling we will go. First stop was the nursing home where grandma is getting rehab. The residents loved to see the kids.

The group got bigger as we went on. Then we went to several homes to sing and finished up at the parish hall for hot chocolate and cookies. Then I went to work - the nativity figurines had to come out of storage in the attic above the church office, best accomplished out of business hours.

Saturday I went out for the Audubon Christmas Bird Count, a citizen science project that's been going on for over 100 years. It was in the 20's and my patrol is the shore line, just where the wind is whipping in. It was not a great day, 100 species were spotted, but with a blizzard on its way, many birds were hunkered down or fueling up at backyard feeders. The total numbers were up due to huge flocks of Greater Scaup out on the bays, over 20,000 birds. We did have some unusual sightings. Four lingering Great Egrets, way past their normal fall departure date. The snow started to fly about 2 so the Count ended early.

Then over Saturday night it really snowed, 1 foot of snow on the Sally meter. When I let Sally the dog out Sunday morning, the snow was up to her belly, 12". Lian likes to help shovel. Lela likes to eat snow with maple syrup and was out gathering several bowl fulls to store in the freezer.

The Christmas pageant was supposed to be on Sunday the 20th, but was nixed by the blizzard, so it joined the 5pm Family Xmas eve service. Lela and Lian were Silent Stars. It was a chaotic affair as rehearsal was 30 minutes before the pageant which had now been transposed from the parish hall to the church, and had to share quarters with the “Miracle of Christmas Orchestra” assembled from about anyone who can play an instrument – also with about 30 minutes of rehearsal. .

Lela led the stars down the aisle.

It was a wonderful, warm service, overflowing with kids, laughter and love.

There was also a visit from Santa after the service (once his suit and beard had been located.)

We had take out Chinese for Xmas dinner as putting on a meal was beyond my capacity at that point. Lela dragged out the evening by making gift drawings for Santa and insisting that we offer him left over take out as he might be sick of cookies by the time her got to our house, but was finally asleep about 9. Then Jamie and I wrapped until the wee hours. I got up at 4:30 and wrapped some more, including a trip up to Chris’s house to make sure Santa had done a good job.

The girls slept in until nearly 7. Stockings had overflowed onto the couch (Santa shops all year and sometimes forget that there is already a massive bag of stuff in the closet) Jamie and I finished wrapping family gifts and Christy brought Chris home for the day (she is in a rehab center recovering from a fall.) Then we got the dinner fixings together and finally arrived about 10:30am.

Organized handout of gifts went by the wayside and L & L ripped into the huge pile under the tree with glee.

Big hits were new dress up (Snow White for Lian, winter Belle for Lela) and cameras, REAL Canon (of course) cameras from Christy. We were all photographed many, many times.

The wreckage.

Dinner was ham under a volcanic coating of inspired left over cranberry glaze (1 bag of aging cranberries from the back of the crisper, an equally aged apple, cored, peeled, cut up, 1 clementine, grated rind and juice, about ? 1/2c brown sugar, juice from a can of pineapple, ginger, clove, mustard to taste, simmer until it’s thick paste. Squish the berries to make it smooth.) Sweet potatoes that failed to cook in the oven but were soft in under 2 minutes in the new super duper microwave, accompanied by green beans (because I forgot about the Brussels sprouts and fennel in the fridge), salad and finished off with pumpkin pie, Christy's apple cake and 3 kinds of ice cream. Eggnog ice cream and pumpkin pie is mum, mum good. Having had 3 hours of sleep I was ready for a nap.

This is our tree. It's a fake, obviously. It was left over from the church fair, and I thought, "well, the cats won't bother it and it's small, so lets try it." I didn't know you could get a Charlie Brown fake tree, but here it is.

December 2009

2009-12-28T23:32:00.004-05:00

Just about finished. Whoo hoo it's taken me three days to get 2009 posted, but I'm going to get it all done before 2010, even if I have to stay up past my bedtime (8pm).

The run up to Xmas was a string of parties. First official holiday party was given by the Cleft team that operated on Lian. It's at the Children's Museum. The first Santa of the season too.

There are very cool climbing platforms, bubbles, a make it center with wood, nails, glue, fabric, lots of food, and lots of kids who look like Lian, including other adoptees.

The museum was featuring a Monkey King exhibit. Monkey King, for the unenlightened, is the most famous of all Chinese epics.

Two Monkey Kings! Will Heaven and earth survive?

No comment.

Sitting in the Buddha's hand.

Lian's school party. There was dancing, pizza, a visit by a Care Bear, Elmo, and Santa. But what they really liked was the face painting. We also found out who will be buying the raffle tickets from now on - Lian won 2 raffle prizes, a basket of toys and one of holiday treats.

And the "tattoos." Lela went for Cinderella. I didn't know until it was too late that the artist was using Sharpies. Yes, as in permanent markers. They do fade, in about a week or two.

Lian got Princess Belle, of Beauty and the Beast

The FCC Cookie exchange party with a visit by the big guy himself - with gifts so he must be the real one. I made the Armstrong family Scottish shortbread – the worlds simplest (and tastiest) cookie. 1c brown sugar, 4 c flour, 1 lb butter. Cream butter in mixer until fluffy, add sifted sugar, then about half the flour, turn out and keep kneading in flour until dough is stiff, (you might not use all the flour) roll out to about 1/8”, cut into small rounds (I use a cordial glass as a cutter) bake 8-12 minutes at 350. Take them out when they are still white and puffy. By the time they are golden they are over done, trust me on this. Gild the lily by adding ginger or lemon to the mix, or top with a sliced maraschino cherry or pecan.

We also squeezed in Family Movie Night at Lela’s school. We got to see Up on a fairly big screen in the cafetorium (their choice of word, not mine). They were selling the biggest and cheapest ($3) buckets of popcorn ever. The floor was a carpet of white by the time it was over.

November 2009

2009-12-28T21:11:00.006-05:00

November launches with our church Fair, an all hands on deck affair, and major fundraiser. The courtyard has bouncy castle, petting zoo and pony rides. Lela is usually first in line.

Lian has now decided that ponies are OK, probably courtesy of "My Little Pony."

The toys and games room has something for everyone under the age of 10.

Downstairs is the Children's Carnival with games, prizes, snacks and face painting

A birthday party with FCC (Families with children from China) friends. I wonder of the non-Chinese kids notice they are in the minority?

Lian got her hair curled as part of the party make over. She loved it. When I went to buy a curling iron, all I could find was hair irons for straightening. I guess the girls are already fashionable.

Another birthday party with FCC friends. If the kids didn't have a social life we'd probably spend our weekends watching the dust bunnies multiplying.

We began to rumble inexorably toward Xmas with a brief pause to over eat on T-day. Chris (Jamie’s mom) had a fall and has been in rehab so visiting grandma became part of the routine.

Turkey Day was a bit fragmented. Jamie's mom, Chris, was still in the hospital (she's now close to getting released from rehab.) I was volunteering at our annual Turkey Trot 5 mile run (it benefits a local charity where I'm a board member.) We had the usual bird with trimmings, Christy did the bird, I did most of the trimmings, a bakery did the deserts, but apparently no pix to commemorate the day. So we went for a post Thanksgiving day jaunt that weekend. We tried to make it to the Bronx zoo but the traffic was too bad, (we spent an hour on the LI Snailway before giving it up as a bad deal) so we settled for the Queens zoo - which has a very nice carousel (are you noticing a theme to our jaunts?) Lela picks......the lion.

Me too, Lian's turn on the lion, but only if Papa goes with me.

Need I say anything more?

The zoo has added a nice bird migration themed play ground. This is crossing the Gulf of Mexico. Lela is Queen of the Monkey bars. Her personal record is four times back and forth before dropping. If she were a bird she'd be an Arctic Tern - they fly from one pole to the other. Most other kids are very impressed. The dads of little boys are generally green with envy. I overhear a lot of, "That little girl can do it...."

September October 2009

2009-12-28T20:18:00.006-05:00

Back to school - actually the first day of real school for Lela, she's in kindergarten. She decided to be pretty in purple. After putting us through 3 months of anxiety and angst, she skipped onto the bus with barely a backward glance. She’s doing great, has made new friends and had a pretty perfect first report card. It seems like only yesterday that we were staggering groggily off a plane from China with a tiny baby girl. Where did the time go?

Lian's an old hand - she rode the bus to her speech intensive pre-k last year. September 16 marked Lian’s second Family Day. It’s amazing what she’s done in 2 short years; had major surgery, learned English, learned how to speak, and had to relearn what ever she had known in China, a lot of early concepts are very tied to language. She is one brave and amazing little girl, with a wicked sense of humor and a big heart. Lian is in her second year at her pre-k and loves her new class.

Between the late start (first full day wasn’t until the 14th and then with the Jewish holidays they had a light start to school and were able to ease into the routine, sort of. The routine involves blasting them out of bed at 6:30am as the first bus (Lian's) arrives at 7:35 and Lela's at 7:50.

Trying to get a family picture. This was the best of the lot, sigh.

Our church has a beach party to kick off the fall. It was a cool day,but everyone had fun.

Mum, fresh corn on the cob slathered in butter.

A Pines family reunion was organized by Cousin Beth. We arrived in two waves. We were the early birds for lunch and overlapped with the next crew for about an hour, time enough to do a group shot (guess who is Photoshopped into this one).

My Canadian cousins came for a visit, Elizabeth (formerly Buzzy) and Jane. We recycle names in our family as those are also my sisters' middle names, and Lian has an Elizabeth in the middle too.

But on to the main event. Halloween. Lela's school has a Halloween parade. The parents gather on the lawn side of the front parking lot and the kids walk along the lot from one end to the other. Pretty soon there is only a tiny lane as the paparazzi parents go in for their close ups. After vacillating wildly, Lela went for princess with a twist and decided to be Mulan of Chinese history and Disney fame. Thank heavens for Ebay, where I located her costume.

Halloween party at Lian's class. They are singing a song about a spider crawling up the leg, up the arm, up the head. Lian once again went for pink princess, Sleeping Beauty in the Disney color coding scheme, AKA Aurora, or Wohwa as Lian puts it.

The spider made it to Lian's cheek, eek!

The big day was on a Saturday, allowing for hours of trick or treating. We hit the road about 2 o'clock with friends and went around our neighborhood.

Pausing in the rounds for a sample break.

Look Ma, we've all got sucker colored tongues!

Pausing for a snack break with pal "Dorothy" at her grandma's house. Then they T or T'ed around that neighborhood. I swapped duty with Jamie and was back at the ranch handing out candy , so there are no pictures. Then they went on to Grandma Pines' neighborhood, finally wrapping up about 8pm. They could barely lift their bags of swag, which last well past Thanksgiving (suitably rationed) .

August 2009

2009-12-28T11:38:00.006-05:00

Off on another trip. This time to Hershey PA and environs. We met up with other families who adopted from Lian's institution in China, HanZhong SWI. Camping again. We found out the tent is indeed waterproof on Saturday night. Which had the pleasant side effect of killing the very nasty wood smoke, someone in the grounds was burning their garbage, plastic and all.

We did get in a sunset swim.

The main event - Hershey Park. It was a lot of fun and the lines for kiddy rides not more than a few minutes. However the wait for the lazy river in the water park area nearly put Lela over the edge, as it was under another ride that dumped water on those below every few minutes. She freaked out despite the fact that it was me getting wet bending over her - and it felt good on a hot day.

But they had a carousel, and best of all from her point of view, a full size roller coaster for the height challenged (over 36” can ride.) Adrenalin junkie Lela’s first comment? “Let’s get back in line right away!” Lian, (smart girl) declined a second trip. I gritted my teeth pasted on a smile and went again, I’m in Lian’s camp.

Chocolate World! How chocolate is made - and buying opportunity.

The next day we all got together for brunch. These are all the kids from HanZhong. They are all from different years as it turned out. Lian is second from right with the happy look.

And these are ALL the kids.

Too many monkeys jumping on the bed.

Sunday afternoon we went to visit some of my family who lives nearby (my Grandma Armstrong was from PA) Cousin Mary Ann put out a delicious spread of traditional Pennsylvania treats, like red eggs.

Back home again, other big events. I turned hum, hum, hum, years old. OK, OK, 39.

August finally warmed up after one of the wettest and coldest July's on record. Down to the beach.

Not sure if this is Kung Fu or Vogueing.

Collecting cool stuff from the tide line, horseshoe crab molts, shells, neat rocks.

Having fun at the waterplay again, with friend Meiling.

July 2009

2009-12-28T09:34:00.005-05:00

Off to Wisconsin we must go...in July we took a drive (18 hours in 2 days) out to WI, cramming our Subaru with 2 kids, the dog and camping gear. We camped in Ohio, trying out 2 new State parks, one each way. Now I know why it is the buckeye state, having had to clear our tent site of about 2000 of the blankety blank golf ball sized nuts. One park will not be on the return list as it seemed to be preferred by people waiting for their audition call to reality TV and had biffys (outhouses.) We tried out our new family size tent. It is HUGE – suitable for a family of 10 who practice ballroom dancing on vacation – Jamie could stand up with headroom to spare.

And of course just to add to the fun both the adult sized, very expensive, but long unused and stored in a non-climate controlled attic, inflatable mats failed to inflate. Neither of us slept well, or really at all. I did get to hear some interesting night birds and owls, not to mention a train line somewhere... and locate several blankety blank buckeyes I missed when we set up the tent. Just the way to start a 10 hour drive.

But we made it! First and favorite stop, the Zoo. They have strategically located the carousel at the entrance next to the new playground. It's surprising that anyone gets to see the animals. Lela rode the lion, of course.

and the mountain lion. She doesn't discriminate.

So Lian wanted a lion ride too, but she won't go alone.

First and favorite stop (after the carousel), the lions, what a surprise. Henry treated us to a roaring exhibition.

Sometimes pictures speak louder than words.

Got to feed the goats. They serve the goat pellets in edible ice cream cone cups.

And there is a buying opportunity. More stuffed animals, just what we needed, NOT.

And I got put to work. Decided to close the pond, since it was pretty much a muck pit. Fun, fun, fun.

July 2009 Part 2

2009-12-28T09:30:00.004-05:00

Too many pictures for one post!

We played with Grandma.

and Grandpa.

Then off to the County Fair! Lela the adrenalin junkie loves the rides. Lian will go - if she has company.

Lela went on the jet flier. According to her, it was the best.

Finally left about 8 hours latter after a second spin on the Ferris Wheel. Why we only go on dollar a ride day.

Another day. Lunch at Ella's Deli, a theoretically "New York" style deli. The place is crammed with mechanical toys, whizzing along the ceiling, in the tables, all over the walls. And they serve a pretty good corned beef.

And they have a carousel.

Lela rides horses too.

Then off to the butterfly exhibit at Olbrich Gardens. Lela had a zebra butterfly that was very attached to her. That's supposed to be good luck.

The Wilson's assembled for a photo, courtesy of photo shop. Who wasn't in the first picture?

And then the long trip back.

May June 2009

2009-12-27T11:18:00.006-05:00

Chinese class ended for the year. Lela and her friends have been together since they were 2.

Sunday School ended too. This is the cherub choir (mising about 10 kids) performing on Sunday School Sunday. And yes, we got some more use out of those flower girl dresses.

Lela finished 4s pre-k with a spring concert. After a rocky start (it took me three weeks to get out of the building) she thrived in her tiny (6 kids) class and ended the school year getting ready to read

.
Lian also did very well in her speech focused pre-k and was recommended for the integrated class for her next year. And she ended the year with much shorter hair courtesy of some scissor experimentation. I had to take off about 6”in the back to even it up, and her bangs looked strange for a while. At least it was after the wedding.

The girls started swimming lessons at the nearly Town park and Lela took tennis too – if she can learn to hit the ball, she’s got a sport, as she was the only little girl who stepped into the ball and really swung

This is not their swimming lesson, where they were not wearing life jackets. It's at our good friend's pool, " Grandma" Barbara.

Fun in the waterplay at one of our favorite parks.

I took them into NYC to see Mary Poppins on Broadway, courtesy of Aunt Carrie's Xmas gift, the green that says I know you know what you want. They loved it. Afterward we had dinner with friends who had gone ot see Mama Mia, and above and beyond, had stood on the TKTs booth line to buy the show tickets for us too. Thanks!!!

Memorial Day 2009

2009-12-27T10:49:00.004-05:00

The highlight of May was a jam packed Memorial Day weekend. We went down to Annapolis for nephew Jason's graduation from from the Naval Academy on Friday (he gave President Obama a full body hug.) Swiftly followed by his wedding to long time girl friend, Erika, on Saturday in DC.
L & L were their flower girls.

Killing time between the wedding and reception. They felt extra princessy in their beautiful dresses.

Sunday we had a private tour of Arlington Cemetery with (let's see if this makes sense) Gillian's significant other, Juan's brother, Jaime. He was the Commander of the Marine Honor Guard at the Tomb of the Unknown at the time (now retired back to Chicago.) Then a very looong drive back home.

It was a trip that tried to break our spirits. Leaving NY we discovered that A. the driver's side window would not go down and B. our Easy Pass was not working either. So it was cash lane and pulling up to open the door all the way to DC and back. On Memorial Day Weekend. Packing up to leave we found we had a flat. As we left DC it started to rain and as we were crawling through north Jersey, we were treated to a massive lightening storm. A normally 4 hour trip took 7 hours.

But we got back in time for the local Memorial Day Parade on Monday, Lela's forth, Lian's second.

Followed by a picnic at church, with games and fun for all.

April May 2009

2009-12-27T09:44:00.004-05:00

We had one really hot day - in April. It was 90 degrees at the end of April - and that was the last time it was that hot until late August. The water was still about 35 degrees, but hey, it was hot.

The white violets bloomed in May. We've taken a picture of the girls in the violets in the corner of Grandma's yard every year.

Mother's Day. Another warm one. That is a very selective portion of our backyard. Aren't I the luckiest mom with 2 such cuties?

Feb March 2009

2009-12-27T09:25:00.005-05:00

Lian's birthday party at home. Her favorites were the princess Ariel costume and doll.

Lian's birthday party at school.

Chinese (or Lunar NY ) New Year party with Lela's Chinese class. It was thrown together in a week by moi and 2 other families. We had 80 people attend. The kids performed the dances they learned, did crafts, made dumplings, and consumed most of the big Chinese buffet we had arranged.

Happy year of the Ox!

Behind the scenes at Grandma. L & L assist Christy prepping Jamie's birthday cake. Those are the kind of candles that don't go out, ho ho.

Yes we have snow in zone 7. Notice the kid size shovels, Jamie's brain wave. They actually do work (for a few minutes.)

Easter morning. The EB was very good to the girls.

Easter. The EB visits at church coffee hour after the egg hunt. This year's innovation was empty plastic eggs and goody bags for all, ensuring a fair distribution. Jamie got a haircut after seeing his birthday pix.

We can't be good all the time!

JanFeb 09

2009-12-27T08:47:00.004-05:00

Well the blankety blank things loaded in reverse order, so Feb 24, Jamie's birthday and he is still over 50. And needed a haircut.

A trip to the Coney Island Aquarium. The big guy is plastic. We topped it off with a walk (very brisk) on the boardwalk, and L& L charged out onto the sand to chase gulls. We finished up at Nathan's for hotdogs.

Valentines Day. More candy. Amazingly enough, Lela had no cavities and while Lian had 3 fillings done (not fun, lots of screaming even with happy juice) that is more likely due to the typical soft enamel that goes with clefting.

Back to Jan, Lela's princess party. That's Lian bending over in pink and Lela in Belle yellow. We had cupcake frosting, pinata, running around, running around, pizza, and cake.

The Birthday girl and sis.

January 25 was also Lela's 4th Family Day. That floppy little baby who couldn't crawl, let alone walk, is now a beautiful, bright, athletic (she is the Queen of the Monkey Bars) young lady with a vocabulary bigger than many adults. She likes kindergarten, but what she really likes to do is.....direct.

Well I actually managed to post in Jan 09, so read that . A bit more to come...

Slacker

2009-01-31T07:23:00.005-05:00

Visiting Donna H in NYC to see the Xmas decorations on New Year's Eve day in snow and 12 degree wind chill. We look happy, but we're freezing. Dressed for Xmas eve family service and Xmas dinner.

What's in those stockings? (lots of candy as it turns out, Santa must have a major sweet tooth.)

Happy Birthday to Princess Lela. She's a big girl now.

One of many presents.

And I'm not even close to Gen X, sigh. Yep, days, weeks, even months have passed since my last post. Let's just say computer issues, work, school vacations, and holidays sort of over ran my life.
It's celebratory time for us. We started rolling before Xmas with parties, parties, parties. Then the big event itself. Santa comes to our house with stockings but takes all the presents to grandma’s house (she has a fireplace, we just have a furnace.) Xmas eve was family carol service at church (where the carols are numbered and you yell out your favorites - loudest numbers get sung.) Then a delicious dinner at Grandma's, mostly courtesy of Aunt Christy. The sleeping beauties didn’t rouse until after 8, so we didn’t commence present opening until almost 10, and went on to noon. Stuffed animals, books, DVDs and My Little Pony ruled the day.

We squeezed in a visit on New Year's Eve day to Donna H in NYC, wandering the freezing canyons of Manhattan to view the decorations in the big department store windows; Macy’s, Lord and Taylor, Saks and finished up at Rockefeller Center. I’ve just finally thawed out. School didn’t restart until January 5, so we had lots of hanging out time. Then they’re out again for MLK day, but that was a merely a segue to the first big event of 2009, Lela’s birthday.

Lela's 5th birthday was on January 20, and her Family day was on the 25, home 4 years. We had a family dinner and watched reruns of the Inauguration for party number one. Saturday the 24th we went into Flushing, NYC (The biggest Asian neighborhood in the US) with her Chinese class, had a tour and lunch at a Buddhist temple and then the kids performed their ribbon and fan dances at a local nursing home. Monday night we made a Lunar New Year's dinner at Grandma's (longevity noodles, shrimp, dumplings - all the favorites) and Lela declared we must address her by the Chinese name, Fu Qin (pronounced Chin) for the evening. Wow, how the time has flown and transformed a tiny baby girl, more like 6 month old than just turned one, to a confident, beautiful, sassy young lady. She's discovering her identity as Chinese and American and is proud of it. Happy Birthday and happy Family Day to my darling girl, and Happy Year of the Ox to all.

But more to come. We are now counting down to birthday celebration #5, the last and biggest. We had Chinese class (cupcakes), pre-k (another batch of cupcakes) Sunday School pre-k (even more cup cakes) and a family party (ice cream cake I did not make, puleeze.) Sunday afternoon, 15 little girls in princess gowns will be arriving to play, make candy necklaces, bash a pinata, eat, eat , eat and yes, decorate yet more cup cakes (one more batch to turn out and 3 pounds of icing in all shades of the rainbow per Lela's request. ) And a large and pricey princess ice cream cake.

I promise to post before March, computer willing and the kids don't get up.

Christmas Letter 2008

2008-12-22T09:25:00.004-05:00

Lela at Rainbow Park
" Helping" rake the leaves at Grandma Pines

Gingerbread House at the Bronx Botanical Gardens

Lian and her Care Bears

Yes, it's the lazy woman's way out. I'm posting our Chritmas letter.

Charlotte's version; We did lots of stuff, had fun, it was a great year. LOL

Time for the annual review. January 08 started with Lian’s surgery to repair her not so good China surgery. She went in on the 4th at 5:30am for nose/lip revision, tooth extraction, ear tubes and possible palate work. After several hours in the waiting room, we figured they had decided to tackle her palate too. Her surgery ran 4.5 hours, she spent 2 hours in recovery and then up to the peds ward. Once she was more awake, she started picking at her lip – no, she was signing for water, little smarty. She bounced back so fast everyone was amazed. She was doing so well the nurses gave her a clear dinner – broth, jello, juice, sherbet. She only stayed overnight (and Jamie stayed with her) because her surgeon didn’t want to send her home at 10pm. The next morning she was ready to go after snarfing down a plate of scrambled eggs.
January is also Lela’s birthday and Family day, three years since she was placed in our arms. She had a small family party and big all girl princess blast with her entire Chinese class and Sunday school friends, 15 little girls in dress up – accompanied by 21 adults. Not in our micro house, we used 2 rooms at our church.
February finally brought enough snow for sledding – a first for Lian. And a visit by our social worker for her 6 month report. Wow, that went fast. Lian’s lip was still healing and puffy – and she managed to splat on her newly repaired and oh so expensive face not once, but twice, fortunately with no lasting damage. Then Chinese class Chinese New Year party with lion dancing, dumpling making and a traditional feast courtesy of our wonderful teacher, Man Li Lin.
The Easter bunny arrived in March with so many goodies they overflowed the baskets. This year Lela had overcome her fears of large costumed characters (finally figuring costumes=goodies) and sat with the bunny who came to church coffee hour. Lian wasn’t so sure about giant bunnies and sat on Lela’s other side. Lian turned 3 on the 28th, and we had a small family party because the big party for her baptism was only 2 weeks away. She had healed well enough to drink from a straw and blow out her birthday candles – big milestones. We had waited for her baptism due to the unknowns of surgery schedule, recovery and family schedules. It all came together on April 13. Lian wore a Chinese silk dress with my family’s Christening gown over it, while I prayed for its 100 year old seams to hold up. Lela held the baptismal candle and didn’t set fire to her hair. Our friends, Bob Kerner and Donna Haggarty, are the God parents. It was a wonderful and I managed not to cry until Father Kurt sent us down the aisle together as a family. We had a big party after the service at the church and invited everyone, with catering done by Moi, so most of the previous month was cook and freeze. Sister Gillian and nephew Oscar arrived to help celebrate.
May was my first mother’s day with 2, an occasion for reflection – I never thought I’d end up 50 something with two little girls. It also brought far away tragedy, the earthquake in Sichuan, China. Lian’s city, HanZhong, is on the Sichuan border about 250 miles from the epicenter, and suffered damage and fatalities. No one from her institution was hurt, but a wall collapsed, buildings cracked, and they lived in tents while the aftershocks rolled on and on.
Memorial Day opened a nearly perfect summer. Into that 3 day weekend we crammed; picnicking at the beach, marching in the local parade (Lela’s third time, Lian’s first), post parade picnic at our church where Lela won the wheelbarrow race against bigger kids, a trip to the Queens zoo, another first for Lian, and a neighbor’s birthday party complete with petting zoo and pony ride. That month also had two big events for Lian; diapers no, big girl panties yes, and surgery for a new set of ear tubes (the first set kept clogging up with wax.)
The 4th of July was wet and grey, but Jamie was playing in the community band so we watched from under an umbrella, while local pyrotechnics provided excitement. We took our first trip to the big zoo- Da Bronx - with Aunt Christy. Somewhere along the line, Lela had because obsessed with the Lion King, so all things African were preferred. Her favorite, the lions, even gave us roaring and pouncing. Most of the summer was idyllic, swimming with friends, Friday night family picnics at the beach, library story time and water play at the park, concerts at the band shell, a couple of parties for leavening. I’m so lucky my kids have a social life, so I get one too.
August featured an epic trip to WI to visit my mom and dad, just me and the girls and mountains of their luggage, 2 car seats, stroller... We nearly missed our plane courtesy of Southwest only assigning 2 guys to check in bags for 5 planes, and our bags did miss the plane. So we got to spend a delightful 2 hours at the Midway baggage carousel, waiting, waiting for the next plane. And we’d only been up since 4am. Finally secured our bags, the rental car and off to the Mad City. We had a great time with Grandma and Grandpa Wilson and saw the sights – the zoo, beach, playground, Sweet Corn festival and carnival – but Lian is not an adrenalin junkie like Lela. We squeezed in a quick stop in Chicago to visit Gillian and Oscar in their new digs, and the Shedd aquarium before returning.
September brought school, pre-k for both girls. Lian was approved by our school district for a school for speech and language and rides the bus an hour each way. Lela goes 4 afternoons for 2.5 hours, 15 minutes away. Guess which one had separation issues. Lela started our church music and art program for big kids as she will be 5 soon – with Lian tagging along. 9/16 was Lian’s first Family Day, home a whole year. It’s amazing what she has taken in her tiny stride – adoption to a strange land, surgeries, therapies, learning a new language, many, many new experiences, undergoing the most killer PE program on the planet, following big sister Lela (a chubby child that walked with a wobbly toddler gait can swing from the monkey bars), toilet training! She’s a wonder and perfect for our family. As a bonus, Lela went dry at night with no accidents.
October is merely a run up to Halloween. Lela suffered serious indecision in costume choice. A lion, a Dalmatian, a lion, a princess, a lion, a princess. She finally settled on Belle, of Beauty and the Beast. Lian was princess Aurora, or “Wo-wa”. We trick or treated with friends around town, and acquired huge bags of swag which still linger.
Turkey day was a quiet family affair. Christy did the turkey and stuffing, I did the sides and a bakery did deserts.
As we barrel into December, the Xmas frenzy is ramping up – at least on Lela’s part. It’s good for naughty or nice threats. This is only Lian’s second Xmas and I’m not sure it’s really registered yet. So far we’ve scheduled the miniature train exhibit at the Bronx Botanical Gardens, Chinese class party, 4 pre-k parties and concerts, FCC Xmas party, 2 birthday parties, and are trying to figure out how to cram in a visit to Macy’s Santa land and the Bronx zoo winter wonderland – and see some friends. Note that this is their social schedule, not ours. Just to add more excitement, Jamie and I were gifted with dual cases of bronchitis just in time for the holidays and I found out I’m allergic to one of the 3 meds I was on, courtesy of a red, bumpy, extremely itchy rash, but not which one.
Me, good things. I have a new PT job, Executive Director of the Manhasset Bay Protection Committee, an inter-municipal water quality group. New glasses, nice to see clearly again. Bad stuff, undergoing a speed root canal and crown this spring as my dentist raced to beat our loss of dental insurance. I’m still volunteering for numerous causes; Audubon, Community Chest, Ecological Commission, Waterfront Commission, and working for St. Stephen’s. I spent many frustrating weekends this summer trying to locate a leak in our backyard fish pond, which involved pretty much rebuilding the perimeter, so much fun; sweltering heat, heavy rocks, slime and mud. No veggies went in this year, (anyone who says two kids are as easy as one lies like a rug) but lots of fruit all summer long; juneberries, tiny alpine strawberries, raspberries, plums, blackberries, figs, raspberries again, enough to share with the birds. Plant oaks for your children, fruit for yourself.
Jamie continues to work at Strategic Insights Inc. He planned on building a shed in the back yard this summer as part of a long range plan. Then we’d convert our useless as a garage storeroom into another room, move the office down there and reclaim the third bedroom as a playroom/bedroom – there are teenage girls in our future. Instead he took out several raised beds to create a piece of lawn for the girls to play on and built a brick patio with their help, as long as you define help as excavating the sand and dirt base to make mud pies and bury all sorts of interesting things. They preferred the mud to the lawn. All our pets are with us, (1 dog, 2 cats, 60 outdoor goldfish) though Sally the dog is getting old, how old we’re not sure since she was a rescue dog, but she’s been with us for 12 years.
When we sit down to dinner and look across the table at our girls, we are overcome by the presence of everyday miracles. Lela clutching her stuffed animal de jour and pillow cover, Lian now the one most likely to be dressed in a pink, shimmery princess costume, tiara and high heels; giggling, whispering, poking each other, sneaking food on and off plates, throwing diva snits in stereo. Real sisters. Two sparkling threads of light that embroider our lives. Every once in a while someone will say how lucky the girls are, and we always reply, “No, we’re the lucky ones” unable to compress the wonder, joy and love they have brought us into a snappier retort.
Though times seem dark and frightening, there is hope all around, often found in small, oddly wrapped packages. Prosperity is not about money, but striving and thriving, so we wish you a prosperous New Year. We long for the shelter of peace, and pray for all who live in fear and uncertainty. May your holidays and New Year be filled with the presence of family and friends, joy in the moment, hope for the future, and love for a lifetime.
Love to All,
Jennifer, Jamie, Lela and Lian
Subscribe to our blog for 2009

Great Thoughts

2008-12-05T11:01:00.001-05:00

It is much better to make your child's sandwich when you are fully awake and unlikely to mistake the foil wrapped package of white creamy Crisco for the very similar package of cream cheese.

Goodbye Cinderella

2008-11-13T11:37:00.003-05:00

A second in time where the world changed in a small way.

Lela has been obsessed with Cinderella since before she was two. She has watched all the Disney movies, (there are three), the TV musicals (Julie Andrews and Leslie Ann Warren), memorized all the songs, “read” the books, and was Cinderella from the hem of her blue satin gown to the sparkly tiara in her silky black hair.

And it was not just Disney Cinderella, though that was the most beloved. Ethnic versions from all over the globe piled up in the bookcase. Cinderella figurines multiplied underfoot. Lela would be so in character when gowned that she would only answer to “Cinderella.” I was cast as the Stepmother, Stepsisters, Fairy Godmother and the Prince, and got to waltz with the princess. The good news was that raggedy Cinderella, the pre-ball scullery maid, would wash floors. Sometimes it was fun, but living and breathing Cinderella can be wearing after a year or two.

I never had an issue with the princesses, despite growing up in the feminist movement of the 70’s. Perhaps it was the knowledge that loving dress up and fairy tales hadn’t stopped me from being who I wanted. There are always lessons to be gained and Cinderella is kind, generous, and loving despite hardship and does ultimately grab for her gold ring. Unlike when I was a child, there are now sequels – we get to find out what happened after the coach ride into the sunset – and the good news is that Cinderella gets a lot more backbone. I had more of an issue with the cost of the princesses’ multitudinous array of products and the consumerism it breeds.

But as she went to pre-k, gained more friends and grew, Cinderella began to wane, exchanged for other interests. One afternoon during the pre-dinner clean up, I was harassing her to put away the hoard of princess figurines strewn around the floor. She picked them up in reluctantly exaggerated slow-motion and dropped them in the bin, but when she got to Cinderella, held the figure up to her face, smiled, kissed the little plastic head and tenderly said, “Goodbye Cinderella” before placing her gently in the box. In that second I felt my heart squeeze with pain and love as I felt the world shift sideways by a tiny bit. My little girl was growing, changing, opening new doors, bidding farewell to a piece of her childhood with that kiss. A fragile snowflake of innocence had melted away in that instant. The pain of knowing that someday I might be the recipient of such a kiss as she headed out the door to save the world or down a flower decked aisle, again gowned as a princess to find her version of happily ever after.

Good bye Cinderella, I never knew that I would miss you.

Summer is gone

2008-10-21T14:17:00.004-04:00

Halloween is gone too, how did that happen? The temperatures dropped, I had to break out the parkas, frost put the garden to bed, Thanksgiving is behind us and Xmas looming around the corner.

To review, August - visited my parents in WI with Lela and Lian, had a great time. Went to the FCC summer picnic, Fridays at the beach, play dates, swimming at Grandma Barbara's. It was the summer of fruit, with bumper crops of juneberies, raspberries, plums, blackberries and figs from our yard. I never got it together to do vegetables, but fruit just keep on going once you've planted it. The fall crop of raspberries sweetened the chill of autumn. Not the generous gush of summer, but one sweet surprise hidden in the leaves, then another.

September rolled in and school for the first time for both girls. Lian is going to a full day pre-k school for speech and language 30 miles away, Lela is in afternoon pre-k 15 minutes away for 2.5 hours, 4 days a week. Lian rides a bus for an hour. Guess which one is having the tough time adjusting. Yep, first day I was called back to the room because Ms. Lela could not stop crying. Next day Grandma had to sit in as I had a conference to attend (Oh, in the midst of this I have started a new PT job - Exec. Dir. of the Manhasset Bay Protection Committee, an inter-municipal water quality work group.) Then I spent the next couple days in a very small, very hard wooden chair in the hall. The next week in a room around the corner. Then she was fine - for a week, and then relapsed, so I was back in the hall for at least 15 minutes until she settled in. Getting a lot of Sudoku done.

Lian hops on the bus and waves good-bye. She's doing really well. Her articulation has improved, as has her vocabulary. She's making new friends and is a big helper in class. Her English is good enough now (wish I could be fluent in Mandarin in a year) that she can make little jokes - she will sing the Lion King song, Hakuna Matata, as Hakuna Banana just to make Lela crazy. There's nothing wrong with her brain, Mom. We had our annual visit with her cleft team and the good news is - there's nothing for them to do for now. She'll start orthodontistry when she's 5 to expand her palate and move her teeth into position for her next surgery, a bone graft to stabilize her jaw when she's about 9. We are waiting results from our visit to an endocrinologist because, despite a year of hearty eating and exercise, she is still not on the chart for height.

Halloween was the great vacillation. Lela could not make up her mind. She was going to be a lion, no, a Dalmatian, no, a lion, no, a princess. Lian was princess. Lela finally settled on Belle from Beauty and the Beast - which required a new costume, supplied by E-bay and fancied up by mom. We treated three different neighborhoods and ended the evening at the home of Lela's new friend from pre-k. Vast amounts of candy were acquired and are still lingering on as of Dec 5. Tragedy struck in the loss of Halloweeny, a small black stuffed cat Lela had insisted on hauling along, still missing. And my cell phone, though that was recovered by a friend who took one look at the lime green bag, and was pretty sure who it belonged to.

The kids regard Thanksgiving as a mere way stop on the way to the big event, Christmas. I was happy to sit and eat a tasty repast; turkey and stuffing by Christy, sides by me, deserts by bakery.

I've already shopped for the kids, so that just leaves - everyone else, Xmas cards, Xmas letter, Xmas photo, house decorating, er cleaning, Grandma's house decorating, wrapping, wrapping, 8 zillion social events (mostly the kids social lives) Are we having fun yet?
Pix to follow.

Way behind, trip to WI

2008-09-17T06:05:00.006-04:00

And the computer isn't helping. Only four out of 10 images loaded. Anyway. In August, Lela, Lian and I flew out to visit my parents in WI on Southwest. The flight was fine, except that 2 baggage checkers for 5 planes doesn't cut it, so we got to Chicago, but our suitcase didn't. Luckily the next flight was 2 hours later, so I only had to hang around the baggage carousel (since we were no longer ticketed and couldn't return to the food court) for that long with a couple of kids who had been up since 4am. Finally we were out of there, driving our rented PT Cruiser to Madison, arriving mid afternoon. The car had satellite radio - Cool! but no list of stations. At least it wasn't all country.

We had a great time and did all the requisite fun stuff, the zoo, the zoo, swimming, playground, the Sun Prairie Sweet Corn Festival, shopping the real Lands End outlet,the Farmer's Market, dinner at the Ginza with the flaming volcano of onions. Lela and Lian spent a lot of time just being silly with grandma. I missed almost all of the Olympics, as I was doing bedtime alone. I also found that sleeping three in a bed, even king size, is not to restful if the other two are thrashing, flipping, heat seeking missiles. I'll try to post more later.

Just got the news about Sarah Palin

The zoo has a new children's play area with climbing tower, slides, bridge. I had to drag the girls away to actually look at animals

Help I'm stuck. It was so humid that Lian, instead of speeding down the slide was glued by her damp rear and had to inch down.

Lela the Lion.

Days of Summer

2008-08-05T12:07:00.004-04:00

Long gone are the seemingly eternal summers of childhood (at least for me.) But there are still days when everything is perfect; the sky, the water, the company, and the cares and concerns of life drift away on the breeze. There are even some days when you expect to hear the voice of God emanating from the sky (or at least Charlton Heston) saying, "Count your blessings."

We finally got the kayaks in the water. Both Lela and Lian took turns in the Sidekick, which is designed for an adult and kids - the thing is a scow, but you could tap dance on it and it wouldn't go over, unlike most kayaks. I think I can configure it for three seats and take them both out at the same time. Jamie could also sit Lian in his lap in his kayak, so we were all able to take a paddle out to the middle of the Bay.

What's wrong with this picture? Tote that bucket and lift that pail. Build another sandcastle before we sail.
This is the view - aren't we lucky?
We spent one afternoon assembling the Adirondack chairs that Christy had ordered. Once we realized that if we ignored the 12 page instructions, we could get them put together correctly, and they came together in time for the sunset.
Catching the breeze at the end of a perfect day.

Zoo Too

2008-08-05T11:37:00.005-04:00

Back to the Bronx Zoo for member's night two. Aunt Christy met us there and we decided to hit the Wild Asia monorail and the new Madagascar exhibit - having first viewed the cartoon movie. From the monorail we saw lots of deer of all sizes, tigers, wild horses, red pandas, elephants - but the favorite was voted on as...... the mom and daughter Rhinos.
Many kinds of monkeys. Who is watching who?
A daredevil baby. It's about 40 feet up on this snag.
Let's try swinging from the vines.
Above and below, the fishes go.
In line for the new Madagascar exhibit. Papa is appropriately clad.
Madagascar is apparently crammed full of funky frogs and VERY LARGE insects. I like them best behind glass.
Ring-tailed lemurs, one of over a dozen lemur species.
And yes, there really are Foosa's -who like to lick their privates in public.

The Zoo

2008-07-26T08:52:00.005-04:00

Aunt Christy got us a family membership to Da Bronx Zoo, or rather the Wildlife Conservation Society. Anyhoo, they have member's nights in July and off we went (after an hour or so on the Cross Bronx.) First stop was Tiger Mountain where the tigers obligingly lazed by the glass, took a dip and wandered around in close proximity.
Tiger, Tiger, burning hot, took a dip, now you are not.
Lela's favorite beast of the moment, courtesy of Lion King (1, 1& 1/2 and 2 - we've seen 'em all, many, many, many times.) We were treated to roaring and pouncing.
A breeze break in the gift shop. Did I mention it was HOT?
Zoo employees get a little flaky at the end of an extra long day.
Out of the 8 zillion stuffed animals in the gift shop, Lela chose.....an elephant (tucked tightly under arm.) Go figure. Lela is all in yellow because that's required to be a lion - not sure of she was Nala , Kiara or Sarabi at the moment. The Thinker.
Some people go this way, and some go that way.
The Zoo had a tattoo booth - and not just a regular old stick-on tattoo, airbrush tattoos. Lela got (naturally) a lion. Lian went for a tiger.
It's not a perfect outing without food. Pizza in the food court, yum.

4th of July

2008-07-16T07:43:00.006-04:00

Grandma has the biggest flag of all.
Pedaling at Grandma's house.
Friday night concert at the band shell.

The forth dawned dank and drear. Not a beach or picnic day. Jamie plays in the local community band on Fridays, so after a low-key day, we sat on the lawn to hear the concert. And immediately after this picture was taken, it started to rain, a heavy drizzle. Luckily I had a big golf umbrella, and we and most of the audience toughed it out. The conductor told an anecdote about a rainy concert where after hearing no applause, the conductor was about to call it off until he realised - you can't applaud while holding an umbrella. But the rain stopped before the concert was over and we had local pyrotechnic displays going off all around, so we got fireworks too.

More June Goings on

2008-07-03T06:10:00.006-04:00

Friday nights at the beach has become a regular family event. Watch the sail boats, the setting sun over the water, eat pizza, swim, have a glass of wine - what could be a better way to start the weekend?

Jamie and the girls driftin' away.
Even our dog, Sally, gets a swim.
Bathing Beauty All bundled up.

HarborFest - another big local event. Craft vendors, art show, music, food, a big kids area. I was manning or womaning rather the Audubon booth under the big tent. L and L had fun at the kids area. Lela decided she was ready for face painting.

Obsession du jour was Dalmatians ala the 101 Dalmatians (we've since moved on to Princess Kiara from Lion King 2, which requires she dress all in yellow, but of course.)

Lian was not to sure, but liked the results too. Monkey see monkey do is a big motivator around here.

Swimming Time. Our dear friend, "Grandma" Barbara has given an open invitation to her pool. Lela is "swimming" with a life vest by herself. Lian is pretty brave, and wants to learn, but we have a problem. She needs to wear an infant size vest (0-30lbs) but they are designed to roll a child face up - which makes swimming pretty tough. Guess we'll have to up size her to the next model.

Lela chillin' in the pool.
Lian ventures out into open water with Barbara.Playing on the pool steps is fun too.

June Updates

2008-06-28T09:38:00.013-04:00

Lela in her "Fancy Nancy" best.

We went to a Fancy Nancy birthday party, one of Lela's Chinese school classmates. Despite weather that threatened to produce a thunder storm all afternoon and attending moms ready to drag everything indoors at a moments notice, a good time was had by all. With crown making, banana walk, pinata, door tags, ice cream sundaes and cake - plus a big backyard with swings, slide, sand etc, what was not to like.

I've got all the sprinkles to myself, I'm not playing some dumb game.

Chinese Class ended for the year. A big thanks to teacher Man Li Lin for having the patience of a saint in her quest to give our adopted children a feeling for the culture they left behind when they were adopted. Learning the fan dance, Lela on near right.

Cherry Italian ice apparently doubles as dye.

Chinese Class picnic was another fun day. It was a blistering 90 in our neck of the woods, but the picnic was at a State Park cooled by the ocean breeze. We hung out with friends, ate, ate, did crafts, talked, talked, visited the beach. Then watched the on board temperature gauge climb as we drove back home.

Lela and pal Holly romp in the waves.

Lian Updates
First - the big one. Lian is toilet trained. She still needs to be prompted, but it's been big girl panties for a week now with only 3 misses. She just decided that she was ready. And suddenly she's coming up dry over night too. Pinch me, I must be dreaming - two kids who don't need diapers!!!!

Second - our school district has agreed that she warrants a full day program in the fall, so she will be attending pre-k at a school that specializes in speech and language. We have applications in to several schools right now. Lela will be going to a 4s pre-k program in the afternoon. I will probably be getting a real job. It's going to feel strange without my munchkins around full time.

Third - she tried out Lela's two-wheeler and was actually better on it than a tricycle. Now we need a second two wheels with training wheels. Lela needs to have her trainers bent up so they will catch her, but not provide support - that was how I learned to balance - but the new ones are too good - it's going to take a visit to the vice to bend them.

Fourth - Super Trooper 2. Lian had another surgery - new ear tubes. She got her first set of tubes when she had her big surgery in January. But there have been constant problems with the tubes getting clogged with wax. Her ENT decided that since she had grown, she needed to move up to a larger size tube, which will hopefully also take care of the clogging problems. Though it is minor ambulatory surgery it still required pre-op testing and approvals. Thank heaven for the enlightened policy re children at the hospital. I suited up and carried her into the OR, and stayed with her until she was out. The only time she cried was when the mask went on, but that actually helped put her out faster. It's a quick surgery, I barely had time to wolf down a bagel and cup of coffee before they called me into recovery. She did her usual super girl routine and was sitting up, drinking juice, munching a cracker and walked out the door on her own steam in 30 minutes.

Memorial Day Weekend, Part III

2008-06-14T07:18:00.005-04:00

Memorial Day. The town has a home style parade - scouts, high school band, the fire dept, the police, local civic groups and lots of kids. This is year # 3 for Lela and Lian's first. We marched with the Community Chest, or rather I marched and they strollered. The parade goes down Main Street, right past our church where Jamie and Grandma were viewing the parade.
All American girl! All decked out for the day.

After the parade, it's on to the annual picnic at the Church in the rectory backyard. The suspects line up, Lela the Mouth, G-ma, DeHman, Lian the Kid.
The Bouncy Castle - the church bought one for our fair where it earns its keep, and it's out for fun for events like the picnic. Lela is a huge fan and Lian can keep her feet under her now.
Lela and her posse.
The sack race - that's Lela on the left doing it for the first time ever and coming in second against older kids.
Lela wins the wheelbarrow race with handling provided by mom. She has pretty good biceps for a skinny mini.

We were among the last to leave as usual, home for an early evening to recuperated from the weekend.

(and you are wondering why it took me 4 weeks to post this - all complaints can be directed to my blinking computer, which has deleted this post 4 times.)

Memorial Day Weekend Part II

2008-06-12T12:11:00.002-04:00

Sunday. We were supposed to go to a birthday party, but Mama blew it and put the wrong time on the master calendar. Ooops. To compensate we took the girls to the Queens Zoo. It's a nice manageable trip - and part of our Zoological Society membership - Thanks Aunt Christy! They feature animals of the Americas, so no lions and tigers, but they do have mountain lions, coyotes, lynx and elk,which is what they were looking at. There were five elk, and Lela counted each one. They also have a petting zoo.
Smile for the camera and act like you love each other.
Enough, Mama!
There's also a carousel. Lian got her first ride, Lela her umpteenth. Despite the look here, Jamie said she was laughing and screaming with glee during the ride. PS - it's a FAST carousel. Another adrenalin junkie?
The perfect end to the day, Cotton Candy, Yeah!

Memorial Day Weekend Part one

2008-06-11T06:59:00.009-04:00

The perfect start to a Memorial Day weekend. A Friday night picnic at Grandma's Beach.

It's still a little cool - but not enough to keep us out of the water.

Lela's favorite thing - the swings. She can pump herself now. Mama's arms are sooo glad.

Lela and Lian's favorite person - Aunt Christy. When she's around, we're chopped liver.

Dig we must. Sitting on your heels must be genetic because they both do it - and they certainly haven't ever seen me do it.

As the sun sinks slowly in the west, the bugs come out and we head home to bed to rest up for an action packed weekend.

Saturday afternoon. Our neighbor's twin girls turned 3. They went all out with a petting zoo and pony ride. Since their lot is as tiny as ours (40 x 100) the pony ride went down another neighbor's driveway as the petting zoo was occupying theirs. Lela loves pony rides - I foresee horse madness in her future. I was horse crazy too - except I grew up where you didn't have to be a millionaire to keep a horse. This was event # 2 - we went on a class outing with Lela's Chinese school to NYC in the morning, but I failed to take any pictures.
Lian, on the other hand, is not too sure about ponies. Sitting on the back of some big animal is a bit too much.

Feeding animals - now this is more like it. Our house is just past the hedge in the back.

Lela favors the goats and sheep, maybe because she was born in the year of the Lamb.

Event # 3 - we went to see the fireworks that night which are at the beach. But the noise was too much for the girls so we actually saw them parked in the driveway of the town's Solid Waste facility farther down the road. Lela decreed it, "the best spot."

May catching up

2008-06-11T06:33:00.004-04:00

Hanging out with Grandma. She's got the biggest, comfiest chair in town.

Violet Girls. Grandma's yard turns white in spring. May was cool and wet but it was also lush and fragrant with flowers

What to do on a rainy afternoon? Be a Princess of course.

I finally got my Mother's Day dinner at our favorite restaurant, Shanghai. Spring rolls all around.

Earthquake in China

2008-05-17T13:35:00.004-04:00

Collapsed perimeter wall at HanZhong City SWI, Shaanxi
Evacuated babies and nannies in tent

The recent earthquake in China’s Sichuan Province has brought terrible devastation; nearly 20,000 confirmed dead with the toll expected to exceed 50,000, hundreds of thousands injured and many thousands more buried in collapsed buildings for whom time is running out. It happened during the middle of the day, 2:28pm, when schools were in session, office buildings were full, and families had separated for the day. Tragically there were many schools that collapsed and as many as 7000 of the dead are thought to be school children.

The Chinese government has launched a massive rescue attempt, but roads are cut off, electrical power is out, and communication has not been reestablished with many areas in the remote mountains. Rain and cold weather are hampering rescue and making life for survivors, many now homeless, miserable. Equipment to clear debris, food, temporary shelter and medical aid are first priorities.

Unlike past disasters, the Chinese government is accepting international aid, though with restrictions. Donations can be made through many international agencies. There are also specialized agencies that work with children in orphanages that are on the site and have the advantage of already being established in China. Unfortunately the quake will create many more orphans for them to aid. Please include the people of China in your thoughts and prayers, those who have lost loved ones, who died in the quake, who may still clinging to life as they await rescue, and those moving mountains of debris to find them.

Lian’s SWI is in HanZhong City in southwest Shaanxi near the Sichuan border, about 250 miles from the epicenter of the quake. It is within the quake damage zone. The perimeter wall collapsed and there are cracks in the old brick building that housed the babies. They have moved the babies into tents as a precautionary measure because of aftershocks. (see pictures above)They did lose their water lines. Caring for China and the English Language Association, a Christian mission group with volunteers from England, Australia and the US, run the special needs unit where Lian received such good care. Their earthquake relief fund is found at http://www.caringforchina.org/resources/donation.htm No one at the SWI was injured but a relative of one of the staff was killed in a building collapse in HanZhong City.

Red Thread Maps has created a special map of the Children’s Welfare Institutes and Social Welfare Institutes (SWI’s are a combination of child and adult/senior care, very common in China – Lela’s SWI had many floors of senior care) in the effected area. Lian’s is found in the upper right hand corner. http://www.redthreadmaps.com/sichuan_earthquake.html

Half the Sky is an orphan aid agency that works with both Lela’s SWI in Guangdong and Lian’s in Shaanxi. The pictures from Lian’s SWI in HanZhong are from their website. You can donate to their earthquake fund at http://www.halfthesky.org/?gclid=CPakk6KGq5MCFQo2GgodMzuYng

Children’s Hope International is the agency through which we adopted Lela. They also have orphan aid programs around the world. Director Melody Zhang is in China in the earthquake zone right now bringing aid. This is the link to her blog. http://www.melodyzhangorphans.blogspot.com/ You can also donate via the blog links.

NPR had a team of reporters, Robert Siegel and Melissa Block, on the site for reports leading up to the summer Olympic when the quake struck. The blog has excellent reporting of the ongoing aid efforts and personal tragedies, and links to international charities that are providing relief, like the Red Cross and Doctors Without Borders
http://www.npr.org/blogs/chengdu/
Doctors without Borders http://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/news/article.cfm?id=2706
The NY Times has also had excellent reporting http://topics.nytimes.com/top/news/science/topics/earthquakes/sichuan_province_china/index.html?inline=nyt-classifier

Love Without Boundaries, another orphan aid group has updates at http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/earthquake.cfm
Donations can be made at https://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/donate.cfm?category=147&child_id=0

Families with Children from China of Greater New York (our chapter) has established an Earthquake Orphanage Relief Fund for donations to specifically help those orphanages hit hardest by the devastating earthquake. FCC-NY’s will donate 100% of all proceeds contributed to those orphanages with the greatest needs. Donate at www.fccny.org/ Please indicate ‘Earthquake Relief’ as the Donation Project. CONTRIBUTIONS BY CHECK CAN BE MAILED TO: FCC Orphanage Assistance, PO Box 237065 Ansonia Station, New York, NY 10023.

Donations (non-tax deductible) can also be made directly to the Chinese government aid effort
Donation Bank Account for Sichuan Province Earthquake Disaster Relief
Ministry of Civil Affairs, People's Republic of China
Foreign Currency (US Dollar) Bank Account
Account No.:00100252328091014
Beneficiary: Ministry of Civil Affairs
Beneficiary's Bank: Bank of China, Head Office
Bank Address:No.1 Fuxingmennei Street, Xicheng District, Beijing
SWIFT CODE:BKCHCNBJ
HOTLINE:58123111 58123222 58123611 58123612 58123617

Lela's Mother's Day thoughts

2008-05-17T13:28:00.002-04:00

Lela the seadog. She had her first sail on a big boat last Saturday. The Soundwater, a two-masted schooner used for environmental education around Long Island Sound was taking a boatload of town and village officials and environmental leaders and one kid out for a cruise around the Bay. Guess who got the most photos ops.

In our house it’s really Mothers’ Day. Lela was drooping around at the end of coffee hour after church on Sunday and I asked her what was wrong. She said, “I just feel a little sad.” I asked her if she wanted to talk about anything and she just buried her head in my shoulder. When we got home, and Jamie was putting Lian down for her nap, we talked again. I reminded her we had talked about writing a letter to her birth mother when she had felt sad around her birthday in January. Did she think that would help? Yes, it would. So I transcribed while she talked.

Hi Mama,
I really miss you. I really enjoyed living in China. My name is Lela. My sister is Lian. My papa takes really good care of me. My mama does too. I really love my family. We live with our cats and dog. Their names are Sneezer, BigEyes and Sally. We take very good care of them, even the fish in our pond, when we feed them they get very big and healthy. They enjoy swimming in the pond, they like to swim, swim, swim until their fins get tired. All our pets are very happy.
If anything bad happens to my parents, I’ll go live with another family.
From Mama and Lela

Then we wrote to her Ayis, the caregivers at the orphanage.

We love you, nannies.
I know I enjoyed living with you. If anything bad happens like a tornado comes, we’ll hide in grandma’s cellar or garage. If anything bad happens there, just tell me. You will always be the nanny of me. I like to be Cinderella and watch Mary Poppins, and we like to watch all day, but when we do we don’t go to sleep.
Love Lela

Note – we live in a part of NY that gets tornados once in a blue moon, but papa showed her tornado clips on the Weather.com after reading the Wizard of Oz (kids version.)

Then she made up and sang an original song, “Livin’ with the Pines Family”

“When I’m live with the Pines Family, I love twinkin’ my eyes, I give out a yell and I cry now, I just like livin’ with the Pines Family, Lela loves me.
I am a little, little girl named Lela. I am very happy that I live with the Pines Family. I love the Pines Family!”
I had the foresight to grab the camera and get the song on tape (on chip rather, which is how I know the lyrics. There were more words, but they started to get very silly once she realized she had an audience. And no, I’m not posting it because then you’all would see my very messy kitchen.) She watched the playback of herself several times and then cheerfully trotted out the door to go visit Grandma. I love her complete lack of self-criticism, there’s none of the issues yet to come, like how I look, sound, am dressed etc. Right now she can bask in the certainty that she is the center of our universe. I am so glad she can talk to me and tell me what’s on her mind, I hope to retain that as she grows. And that she has connection and ownership to her life in China. So much history for someone so young.

Who is a Mother?

2008-05-15T09:52:00.003-04:00

The celebration of Mother's Day and the recent online uproar over the NBC Mother's Day Contest's ill judged placement of adoptive moms in a category called, "Non-Moms" had me thinking about what exactly is a mother. The NBC blooper brought it to the center of topic on most of my adoption e-mail groups. It got NBC deluged with e-mails and calls from the highly Internet connected China adoption community within hours. Annoyed "Non-moms" all over the US shared that they had to take time away from their "Non-kids"to write scathing e-mails asking just who did NBC think was picking up after the kids, making their dinner, kissing away tears, putting them to bed - the maid? NBC did back down quickly and changed the category to adoptive moms,but still used it as a catch all including grandparents, stepparents, foster parents, single dads, an orphanage director etc. - all non-traditional mother roles. There was still the segregated flavor of being less than"real" mom if you didn't physically give birth.

So it still begs the question, "Who is a mother?" Many listed the things that moms do for their children, but those are also done by fathers, grandparents, aunts and uncles, step parents, foster parents, and friends. This is not to disparage the 8 million day-to-day things that mothers do for their children, usually un noted or remarked. I thought about my mom, and other women who have been surrogate moms to me, being a daughter, sister, friend and about becoming a mother by adoption myself, late in life.

Sometimes it's as simple as being sure there is one person in the world who will love you no matter what. As Miss Spider says, "For finding you mother,there's one certain test, you must look for the creature who loves you the best." It's being able to scream, "I hate you" to your mother and know she will still love you, feed you, kiss you good night, forgive you. And it's loving and understanding the angry teen who is yelling, "You don't understand, you stupid old BLEEP." It's about emotional connection and comfort, someone to kiss your boo-boos, even when those boo-boos are lost jobs, divorce or illness. It's the irrational state where you love your children so much that you want to kill them for doing something dangerous. It's that moment of heart stopping terror when they get off your radar. It's the 24/7 give and take as they grow, change and try to make their own order of the universe - and you try and remember all the baby love and kisses that once came your way. It's moments when you wonder, "Who are these strange short people and why are they in my house?" It's being annoyed that your children are distracting you - from writing about your children.

It's being the "real" mom of a child not yours by birth. It's trying to give your child a heritage that you don't share, to help them find their story. It's about trying to cushion their losses and comfort their grief - even when they don't want you to. It's also about loving children that have become lost or damaged. And loving mothers who aren't able to fully love or are like children themselves. And sometimes it's about knowing that love is not enough, that life can be full of complexity and shades of gray. And knowing you can't save them, no matter what you do. That giving them up may be the only way to save them. It's finding out from a doctor, late night phone call or knock on the door, that you will not see your child grow up - and going on living.

It's remembering all the families that you have made during your life and knowing one day you will not be the center of your child's universe. And hoping that with a little luck, you might happily be displaced by your grandchild. It's knowing that families grow, change, open and close, and there may be times when you will hope for a phone call or e-mail, and others when you want to kick your kids out the door and shout, "Get a life." It's knowing your family is messy and imperfect, but that life is not meant to be a sitcom. It's knowing that love is not bound by birth or blood or time, and that no matter what, you will always be a mother.

Happy belated Mothers' Day (the apostrophe is in the right place)

Lian's Baptism

2008-04-19T10:16:00.005-04:00

Lian becomes one of the family of Christ.

Stylin' in her beautiful dress (with matching stuffed dog.)

Introduction to the congregation (that's the family gown I'm holding, not a trash bag.)

Mama, Papa, the not so happy camper and Godparents Bob Kerner and Donna Haggerty

Lela's posse - Lian, Holly, the Queen Bee, Meiling and Eleanor

I get gifts too? Oh Boy!

Cool shades.

Donna gets hornswaggled into reading a princess story

With Cousin Oscar

Me and sister Gillian and our kids. Aren't we lucky?

The big day, April 13, has come and gone. Since we are Episcopalian, the baptism takes place during a regular Sunday service. We also decided to hold a reception after the baptism in the church parish hall and invite the entire congregation and our guests to lunch, IE a vastly expanded coffee hour – and we’d (read I) would make all the food as a cost saving measure.

Sister Gillian and nephew Oscar arrived Friday at 4:30, which meant a delightful drive on the LIE to MacArthur/Islip during rush hour. It’s only 40 miles so it was a mere 3 hour round trip. They pitched in Saturday to help get the party ready and treated us to dinner at our favorite Chinese restaurant. Lela and Lian glued themselves to Oscar, or “O-ka” as Lian calls him, their big (10yo) cousin. He was really good with them, even sitting through an entire “My Little Pony” movie.

I got up at the crack of dawn Sunday to finish the prep at the parish hall. After spending most of Saturday and Sunday morning getting the party ready, I was feeling rested and relaxed – did I mention I came down with a cold on Saturday? Anyway, arriving home with 30 minutes to shower and dress I found both girls still undressed, as Jamie had been unable to coax or threaten them into their pre-chosen and approved outfits, a midnight blue silk for Lela and a white cheongsam from China for Lian (brought by our friend Charlotte since I had been too brain dead to remember to get one on our trip, Thanks Charlotte.) Once they had been clothed, I was free to take a lingering shower. That is why we were rehearsing with Father Kurt at 10:05 as the choir marked time in the rear.

For Godparents we chose, after intense debate, discussion, waffling and a drastic change of direction, my oldest friend, Donna Haggerty, and Bob Kerner, who is also Lela’s God father. I won’t say how long Donna and I have known each other, but there are people who are considered adults who were not alive when we met. We met Bob and his wife, also Donna (Lela differentiates them as Donna city and Donna blonde) at St. Stephen’s. They are expecting twins any minute, so Donna blonde was looking a trifle uncomfortable – twins can kick in two directions.

Lela has seen enough baptisms that she declared she would hold the baptismal candle. Perhaps 4 is a little too young, but the alternative was a screaming, sobbing child. She held the candle – mostly – except when she had to scratch and handed it off to one of the godparents, including hiking up her dress to adjust her tights.

Lian was very good. She held on to me and observed all the goings on without a cry or whimper. She even tolerated being stuffed into the family gown. It is special – my Grandfather wore it, as did my mother and her sisters and brother, my sisters and I, Lela, and now Lian. Except it was made for an infant in arms not a three-year old, even a petite one. I was praying the arm seams would hold out and she wouldn’t kick a hole in the very fragile 100 year old fabric – when I wasn’t worrying that Lela would set fire to her own hair. We waited until it was time to go up to the font, whipped it on and as soon as it was time for her to be presented to the congregation, whipped it back off.

Despite the distractions, the ceremony is moving and involving in its calls to the family and congregation to support the child and renew our own faith. When I wasn’t monitoring the candle I could feel the love and goodwill surrounding us. Big smiles and daubing hankies filled the congregation. Most of the alto and soprano section were wiping their eyes by the end of the service.

Lian started down the aisle with Father Kurt, then ran back and got Jamie. Father Kurt, who knows better than to try and argue with a three-year-old, sent us out to the congregation as a family, remarking, “She’s very shy – unlike her sister, but she knows she’s got on a really snappy dress today to show off.” The congregation broke into applause and laughter – and that was when I lost it. Then special service number two, a renewal of vows for a 50th wedding anniversary, ensured that everyone who had managed to hold out up until then was weeping.

The remainder of the service went by in a blur of trying to keep two children who had been very good for a long time occupied and quiet and keep them from killing them selves by jumping off a pew. Aunt Christy took the brunt of Lela’s attentions as usual – when she’s around, we’re chopped liver.

On to the party. The menu had to be simple – sandwiches, salads, cheese, fruit, and chips and dips, all cold food since we were going to be otherwise occupied for the hour and a half before the party. And lots of cake, cookies and gallons of coffee (or we’d be drummed out of the church - clearly not good Episcopalians.) Prep started with shopping sprees at Party City, Costco, Trader Joe’s and our local grocery stores – 8 loaves of bread, vats of sour cream, an array of cheeses, enough fruit and veg to feed a hoard of rabbits. The color theme was spring; pastel yellow, green, pink and purple paper goods, balloons, and cups made it look festive. A raid on my garden which produced enough daffodils, hyacinths, forsythia, plum and quince blossoms to fill three large bouquets, though it left the yard a bit sparse. Donna city had brought a large bouquet of roses and the alter guild brought over a sheaf of tulips from the altar flowers so we had a garden indoors. None of which would do well at home since our cats regard flowers as snack food.

I was worried we would either have too much food – or not enough. Well, the sandwiches (egg and tuna salad, ham and turkey with cheese, cheese, and cucumber for the grups, pb&j, turkey and American for the kids and chocolate hazelnut spread that was a might too sophisticated for their tastes) vanished at an astonishing rate. The pasta salads held out a little better, but the fruit salad evaporated, as did the fruit and cheese platters. Two giant sheet cakes melted away under the onslaught. The only reason we came home with leftovers was that no one was on duty to refill the platters. Oh well. And no one was on duty to take pictures of the party either, sigh.

Everyone had a good time eating, drinking, chatting. Lela was thrilled that her whole posse of best friends was there; Meiling, Eleanor, and Holly. For the occasion they allowed Lian to tag along. The party finally trailed off about 2 and we tackled clean up. With help from remaining friends we rinsed the platters, bagged the leftovers, packed our cars, and shoveled everything else into the trash – ok maybe not the most ecological choice but you do what you have to do – which includes not washing dishes for an hour. Back to Grandma Pines where Gillian was packing up for a return to Chicago. Lian and Lela tore into the present pile – the moment Lela had been waiting for as several kind friends had included gifts for her.

Finally Donna city was on the train back into NYC, Jamie and girls were at home attempting to cram leftovers into our already over stuffed fridge, and I was driving Gillian and Oscar to the airport, a breezy 45 minutes on a Sunday afternoon. On the way back I finally had a quiet moment to reflect (while cruising at 70mph.)

Lian started to become part of our family from the moment in Xian when her ayi handed us a scared, silent little girl dressed in yellow. And we started to became a different family, to travel a new path. In this case, different is better. However, all the milestones of adjustment in our daily lives are rarely something I can point to and say, that’s when it changed. The transformation is gradual. But her baptism gave me a special sense of family and belonging, not just our little band of four, but our bigger families. As an adoptive mom I can say with certainty that while blood may be thicker than water, it’s not what creates love. We had the support and love not only of our relatives, but our many friends in the church and community on our road less traveled by. And that road has brought great joy, not just to us, though we are privileged to get to know and love these two little people on a daily basis. I have no doubt that we were meant to be together and all the heartbreaks and losses that lead to this moment were for a purpose, one that was not apparent at the time, but now in retrospect is clear. Whatever mountains were quietly moved behind the scenery, the little miracles that guaranteed the introduction to this person, an urge to make a phone call, the paperwork landed on the right desk, an e-mail was sent at the right time, and ensured that Lela and Lian came to us, make us forever beholden and in awe of God’s true power, the power of love.

I will leave you with one of my favorite poems and a reminder that the road less taken can lead to wonders and joys you never imagined.

The Road Not Taken
By Robert Frost, American Poet, 1874-1963

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Happy Birthday Lian

2008-03-30T08:00:00.003-04:00

Birthday dinner. Notice that Lian is drinking with a straw. This is a big deal, something she couldn't do before her palate extension repair.

Adoption from China $20,000. Palate and lip surgery $60,000. Being able to blow out your birthday candles: priceless.

Opening presents with Grandma Pines

Lian turned 3 on Friday the 28th. We had a little family party for her on Thursday night so Aunt Christy could be there. We all went out for dinner, pizza and ziti, at one of the nicer pizzerias in town, Salvatores. Lian consumed a whole slice of pizza and a plate of ziti, no eating problems here. Her only oddity - she likes to hold her slices upside down, creating mom nerves as the cheese begins to dangle and droop dangerously near her chest.

Then back to Grandma's house to open presents. Lian knows the drill now, having done Christmas and Lela's birthday, so she plopped herself down and began pulling goodies out of bags with enthusiasm. Bad mama had failed to wrap most of the presents that have been in the closet since Christmas so only a few from us, but plenty from Grandma and Auntie. Her favorite; a teddy bear puzzle with interchangeable pieces so she can dress and change his expression. Her speech therapist uses one and she loves it so I had to track one down.

Friday shot by in a blur (part 3 of my root canal & crown) so she opened the rest of her presents on Saturday morning. Big hits were Mr./Ms. Potato Head (also used by her therapist) and new animals for the playskool farm. She and Lela played with the farm for a long time, with Lela directing the action. The animal figurine box was raided and gorillas, sea turtles and dinosaurs were added to the farm life. Gorillas like to sleep on hay bales, bet you didn't know that.

We kept this birthday low key as the big event will be in 2 weeks, her baptism.

Easter Pix

2008-03-22T08:32:00.007-04:00

All this stuff!!! And the Easter Bunny brings cotton candy in plastic tubs too. Life is perfect.

Bubbles, stickers and candy. What could be better?

Hey, Mama's in the picture for once with her two cuties (even if their shirts say "Daddy's Princess.")

In our Easter bonnets after church service. We were good and colored quietly, well mostly.

The Easter Bunny visits at coffee hour. Lian is still not too sure about it. Hey, that's Mama again, what gives?

On to Grandma Pines for Easter dinner. Our friend Donna came out to join us. Everyone is glued to Lela's Easter basket DVD, Enchanted. The vermin are apartment cleaning.

Dinner. Grandma outdid herself. Rack of lamb, chicken breast, salmon, shrimp skewers. Mama did the early potatoes and strawberry shortcake.

Afterwards a little fresh air. Lian is mastering the tricycle. She finally grew enough to reach the peddles (with blocks.)

Progress Report

2008-03-22T08:32:00.003-04:00

Hot Doggers. Our FCC has winter playdates at a mall with

a nice indoor playground - and lots of rides in the food court.

Lap sister. If Papa wont let you eat dinner sitting in his lap,

try your big sister, Princess Cinderella.

As of March 17, Lian has been home for 6 months now. Our teeny girl has made great progress. A child that couldn’t jump and was a bit wobbly on her pins at two-and-a-half is now jumping bean #2. She can hang from the monkey bars (with a mom safety net), climb the pole steps and walk the balance beam at the playground. She’s mastered Lela’s flip trick – face Mama holding hands, walk your legs up and do a back flip, and also does a somersault. She’s grown almost 2 inches, not exactly a growth spurt, but she is now wearing some 24M clothes while she is still two (for another 6 days.) And she’s gained 3 pounds - mostly muscle.
We’ve seen real progress since her surgery in January. She can now blow a whistle or bubbles and drink through a straw – that might not sound like much, but it means her palate extension was successful and she can control the flow of air from her mouth, and cut off air flowing through her nose. Her lip is healing and she now has control over her upper lip muscles and can form an O, sort of critical for speech. Her Speech Therapist is happy with her progress and she is really trying for the “plosive” consonants like P and B. Her speech still requires a lot of interpretation and she supplements with ASL and really good body language, but she is speaking in full sentences – in English. I wish I could be fluent in Mandarin in 6 months. Her receptive language is so good I forget that she’s only been building vocabulary for 6 months. She’s learning to count and getting colors, skills she had probably mastered in Mandarin, but had to re-learn. So now she has opinions about what she is going to wear. “Ink” and yellow are her favorites.
Her favorite item of clothing - shoes. The pink glitter ballet slippers are at the top of the list, but she will also bring me the black suede Mary-janes with a rhinestone buckle for all occasions. And since she can put on her own socks and shoes she often changes during the day. Her girly girl big sis is a seminal influence, and if Lela is in a dress, Lian wants one too (even if mom is usually in jeans, ok, yeah, with color coordinated socks, tops and jewelry – they had to get it from somewhere.) So I get to go out with two adorably turned out girls, from their fancy hair bows to zippy foot wear – other moms are awestruck and envious. She is proud to tell me, “Mama, I did it” when putting on her own clothes. When staying at Grandma’s house this week (while I had parts one and two of a root canal, lucky me) she took off her tights, changed her pull up and put the tights back on (Ok, they were inside out, but I was impressed.)
Yep, we’re still doing diapers and pull-ups. She did have a brief flirtation with big girl panties this month. She tried for 2 days, but after having a poopy accident decided to go back to the old reliables. That’s ok with me; I really wanted to wait for a week at home with no appointments – and maybe warmer weather. Her Curious George and My Little Pony undies will still fit.
Lian was evaluated for the School District special ed program. She’ll transition out of Early Intervention once she is three. However, she will be able to stay with her current therapists until fall. Despite playing shy/coy and saying perhaps a total of 5 words for three evaluators, she did very well. Fortunately/unfortunately since she is doing well in all areas except speech, she is only eligible for that service. A child has to have a 30% disability in at least 2 areas to qualify for a full program.
So how is it going? Lian has fit herself into our family in an amazing way. Her ability to accept this massive upheaval in her life and get on with her business is remarkable. She is a distinct person with opinions, strong opinions. In the last month she has made me her real Mama, and vies with Lela for snuggle time(which sometimes devolves into a push and shove time – I have now mastered the art of balancing one on each knee while keeping various arms and legs separate.) While she never rejected me, she was always a little distant. I know she loved her foster mama in China and it must have been hard to lose her, that she needed time. Now I have two snuggle bugs and I know she has fully attached.
Big sis Lela has reconciled with having Lian around, and has even told me, “I’m glad you got me a sister.” Lian wants to be just like her, which sometimes translates as laying hands on the sacred princess items. When I remind Lela to share she wails, “But it’s PRINCESS! It’s too special.” Lela’s “special” stuffed animals threaten take up about half her bed now. But she also has fits of generosity as when she gifted Lian with her number 2 Cinderella gown. She defends her from big kids playing too rough at music class(she’s the only one allowed to knock Lian over.) And Lian brings Lela her lovey when she is upset. They are real sisters now.
So what’s it like with two? MORE WORK. Anyone who says different lies like a rug. Laundry and dishes pile up at an astonishing rate, especially with finicky little darlings who eschew dirty clothing and need a clean bowl for every snack. Getting them out the door take a full hour, unless the screaming maniac mama puts in an appearance. I used to be early for appointments, and now consider within 15 minutes to be close enough.

I have discovered the Mother’s Curse does not have a genetic component. What, you say? That’s the one where your own mother in a snit over some minor infraction, shrieks at you, “One day you’ll have children, and they will be just like you. Then you’ll be sorry!” So I have Lela the Mouth paying me back for every precociously snotty remark that ever passed over my own lips. And Lian the Mule resisting common sense, persuasion, and house arrest because she is SURE she is right. Mom, I grovel at your feet and beg forgiveness – just lift the curse, PLEASE.

2008-02-25T10:00:00.002-05:00

Pull me back up the hill, Mama

Lela wipes out

Let it snow! We finally got a good snow fall - after the prediction was for one inch. Lian got to go sledding, probably for the first time ever. Most fun, undressing and redressing for the bathroom break. NOT.

Lela's Chinese Class had their annual Chinese New Year Party. Everyone had a blast. The girls made traditional dumplings, danced, sang, ate and ate and ate

Lian the dragon dancer

Lela heads the line

The Turnip pulling song. A few minutes after this was taken, 25 kids were sprawled on the floor, having "pulled" the turnip.

Memories

2008-02-24T23:48:00.001-05:00

It's time for the Lian's 6-month post adoption report. Wow, we’ve been home almost 6 months. And yet China seems like a lifetime away, and Lian has fitted in like she has always been here.
So our social worker, Carrie, who has worked with us through both adoptions, arrives for our interview. After Carrie met Lian, she (Lian, not Carrie)was whisked upstairs for her nap. Lela, who no longer naps, was suitably attired for an afternoon visit in Cinderella gown, tiara and high heels, and busy trying to horn in on the conversation with princess vacations to Illinois and anything else she can come up with. Carrie attempted to convert her to a source and asked, "What do you remember about your trip to China?" Lela thought a few moments and said, "Well, Mama tried to encourage me to eat slimy things that were still living." This is a verbatim quote. So, the Great Wall, Terra Cotta Warriors, Forbidden City, Temple of Heaven... and her main memory of China is the plastic bins full of live water bugs, worms, poisonous sea snakes and other delicacies at the restaurant in Guangzhou where we ate the night of the Autumn Moon Festival. Good thing I took a lot of pictures.

More January Doings

2008-02-02T07:23:00.000-05:00

The battle of the cereal bowl. Lian is prohibited crunchy foods for 6 weeks. The girls' favorite snack is cereal (an organic, whole grain version of Cherrios, but of course) Lian doesn't like to wait, so the soaking of her cereal in milk was accompanied by loud screams of displeasure until Mama invented speed softening; 30 seconds in the microwave in water, drain, rinse in cold water, dump in milk, Voila!

Silly Sally. Our dog likes her creature comforts, and sun bathing in the most comfortable chair in the house is one.

The couch potatos. What's on next?

Sudsy fun at the Children's Museum. It was supposed to be an area for blowing bubbles, but the soap had been stirred to a foam by dozens of kids, making that pretty much impossible. It didn't stop the fun though.

More Children's Museum. It was jam packed with kids, but had enough different areas to keep everyone busy. Lots O' Lelas was a mirror display.

Lian took her turn to be multiplied.

Lela and Lian's version of the Push Me-Pull You.

Happy 4th Birthday Lela!

2008-01-24T17:33:00.000-05:00

Birthday loot #1

First cake

Welcome to my party

Cake #2, the deluxe Cinderella ice cream version

Pinata line up

Sunday January 20th was Lela's 4th birthday. We had a small family party, the big princess bash scheduled for the folowing weekend. We pushed it back to give Lian time to heal from her Jan. 4 surgery. January 25 is also Lela's Family Day and the day when she entered her SWI four years ago. It's hard to believe that she has been with us 3 years. It seems like barely a minute since that tiny baby girl was paced in my arms in Guangzhou. I burst into tears - she stared at us and tried to gnaw her way through the wrapper of the cookie her ayis had given her. Now that solemn little baby has become a dramatic diva. Her multiple personalities include Cinderella, Aurora, Ariel (in the tub) , Princess Pea and Lady or Cleo (cartoon dogs.) Her preferred attire is purple, pink or Cinderella blue. In her universe, ball gowns and attempted hand stands do go together.

Her family party was low key event at Grandma's house. Uncle Kirby and his PSLQ, Helen, were in town. I bought a cake, gasp, since I was committed to making 80 cupcakes for her big party and her music class, and enough is enough. Lela's favorite - a dress up bride gown.

The birthday bash was a big party at her request. Almost her entire Chinese class attended, along with friends from town, so we had 15 little girls in full princess regalia. Three Cinderellas, 3 Belles, 2 Auroras, 1 Snow White, 1 Ariel, 1 Tinkerbelle, 1 Jasmine, 1 non-Disney princess, and 1 stylin' in her own beautiful pink and black party dress. They had a blast. I had overdone it, and had too many activities to actually do, but they strung bead necklaces, frosted cupcakes (using pounds of icing) scrambled for the pinata goodies, ate snacks ( I acually made jello jigglers) , pizza and ice cream cake, and played together. We are lucky enough to be able to hold the party in our church Sunday School rooms, so we had the big nursery with lots of toys, and the pre-k room down the hall for food and crafts. We also had 21 adults. I haven't given that big a party in about forever. I think everyone had a good time. I was a little frazzled by the details - like the fancy $4 Cinderella candle for her birthday cake that wouldn't light. And it was a long party by kid standards, 2:30-5, and actually ran to 5:30. All the girls left with goody bags full of the excess of toys and candy I'd bought for the pinata. It was a three tower castle, but it turned out I could only fill the central tower, so lots of left overs. Plus the bonanza from 8 months ago when the dollar aisle at Target was full of princess stuff. We barely got the place cleaned up before AA came for their meeting (the only problem with using the church.)

Then on to Grandma's house for the opening of the presents. Lela ripped into them with determination, while I demanded cards and names. Her favorite; an Aurora sleeping bag and pillow. She's been sleeping on the floor of her room in it since the party. (For the uninformed, Aurora is Sleeping Beauty, Disney version.) We took an expedition to Toys R Us with a gift card she'd recieved. After long and carefull consideration, she came home with a new princess sticker book, leaving a balance for another time. When it's her own "money" she is much more selective. When asked what she got for her birthday, she replied, "I have soooo much princess stuff."

Lela also had her annual check up, an occasion for much angst and wailing. She really, really doesn't like doctor visits. Unfortunatly she had just relaxed when her pediatrician announced she needed two booster shots. She's grown three inches this year, slowing down to a more normal grown pattern. Her first year home she grew over 5", coming up to her genetic potential, which looks like ending up about 5'2". I'm buying size 4 at the sales for next season, moving out of the baby girl section, sigh. It looks like she will always run a size behind her age, and her waist will be many sizes behind - she can still wear 18 month shorts and skirts.

Her mouth is many years ahead as Jamie found out one evening. We sometimes have musical chairs at dinner, as the girls preferred seat is in our laps and ours is everyone in their place. Lian had crawled onto Jamie and he had put her in his seat and was pretending to sit in her high chair. Lela pipes up, "I don't think you'll fit your great big butt in there, Papa." Another time, when she had extracted a promise out of him, she immediately released her huggy, lovey hold, sat up and giave him a thumbs up, saying, "Way to go, Papa."

Watching her learn and grow has been an aamzing experience. Last week, Lela "got" addition. One night at the dinner table, she suddenly announced, "Watch this!" She held up 2 fingers on each hand and counted, "one, two, and three, four." She went on to count varoius combinations fo fingers.

So Happy Birthday, our darling girl, and many, many more. Our lives have been much more exciting, noisy, fancy and happy since you came. I hope and pray I will be there for you whenever you need me, to see you stretch your wings and learn to fly, even for the crash landing. I love you more than words can ever express, all the way to the moon and back.
Love forever, Mama

Super Trooper

2008-01-06T06:42:00.000-05:00

Recovery - look at that cute little nose!

Ready to go home

Where's my stuff. Lela had better not be touching it.

Charlotte's request - the short version. Lian had a tooth extracted form her palate, ear tubes inserted, her palate lengthened with a Z-plasty procedure, her nose rebuilt and her upper lip re-done. She recovered amazingly well and come home the next morning, is eating, drinking, running around and playing - talking too. She's feeling the pain more now that the hospital meds have worn off, but regular Tylenol is enough to keep it under control.

The long version
Lian had her surgery at North Shore Hospital Friday, January 4. It went very well, even though we had a “surprise” palate repair. Since we had no one to leave Lela with at that hour, we all arrived at the hospital at 5:30am. We got the girls up at the last minute and packed them in the car in their pj’s. Two little girls in pj’s and parkas garnered a fair amount of “ohs” and “how cutes” in the pre-op waiting room and I think brightened up the day a bit. Lela had one of her sayings. As we were waiting I was teaching her how to spell a few words with the letters she can write – L,E,A (in her name) F, I and O. She looks at the straggling collection of “hill, hall, hello” and says, “I can write a lot of words. I might be a genius.” Which cracked up everyone in range. We were the last out of admissions at 7:45 since we were waiting for three surgeons. Lian is so little they had to put her ID bracelet on her ankle as her wrist is too small for even the last notch. Even the child’s gown was ankle length on her. Lian charmed everyone and was quite happy and cooperative right up to the point where the anesthesiologist put the mask on her. Then as the Dr. had predicted, she started to cry, took one deep breath and that was all she wrote.
Dr. Ditkoff the ENT went first and even though she had come off antibiotics for an ear infection only the week before there was a lot of fluid when he inserted the ear tubes, so they were very much needed. Dr. Siegal the oral surgeon went next. Lian had a tooth up in her palate. The bad news was that he doesn’t think it was her missing front tooth, but an extra tooth. He said it was very misshapen and had a lot of decay so she’s well rid of it. He’s going to do a full X-ray scan when we come for post–op visit so we will know what kind of orthodentistry we are looking at down the road. Then Dr. Ruotolo and Gallagher started. We didn’t know that Dr. Gallagher was coming and were happy to see her too.
We were upstairs, waiting and waiting. Dr. Siegal came up about 9 and told us how the early surgery went. Jamie took Lela to his mom’s house for the day and returned. We took turns running for meals. I had some sushi and a crab cake - it sounded good, tasted delicious and settled into my stomach like a lead weight that could wiggle. Fish and anxiety are a bad combination. Jamie brought back our laptop, but we couldn’t get the wireless connection to work. AHCH – cut off from my e-mail. He thinks it was the tech guy’s “fix” in China at the hotel in Xi’an when we had a problem with the hotel Internet firewall – so apparently we can get wireless in Xi’an but not anywhere else until Jamie figures out how to undo his fix. I think it was the top-secret spyware he loaded, NOT. We were pretty sure they had decided to try and extend her palate when they went past 11, but weren’t sure until Dr. Ruotollo came up to talk to us at 1. Initially the surgery had been to redo her nose and lip. We started with them fixing an oozing blood vessel that gave Lian a permanent little crust under her nostril and putting off any palate surgery until the spring. We could see in pictures from the SWI that the bleeding had been going on ever since her lip repair at 3 months. Then I told her that the speech therapist was telling us she had almost no mobility of her upper lip, so Dr. R. decided to add a redo of her lip. At our pre-surgical visit on Wednesday, Lian was relaxed and chatting away and she really got to hear how much air she loses during speech, so she tentatively added palate repair, though it didn’t look too bad to her on visual inspection – but inspecting a wide away 2-yo is apparently not too easy.
It turned out that Lian had a complete redo. The bleeding vessel was a crusted mass that had to be cleaned out – and while they were at it they tweaked her nose up and evened out the nostrils – her little nose is even cuter now. Her whole lip was adhered to the gum ridge and the muscles were not properly connected, so that was completely opened and redone, with stitches on the inside and dermabond on the outside to lessen any scarring. Her palate was completely repaired in China – but the scar tissue pulled it forward due to the way they did it, leaving her palate very short and sending half her air up her nose. So they lengthened her palate using a Z technique, so that the scar pulling can’t recur. She told us Lian did very well, and came out of the anesthesia very well too – even waving at her when they brought her out of it. She said she had to be drinking and peeing before she could go home.
We were taken up to recovery at 1:30 and though I was prepared to do battle, since the policy is only 5 minute visits twice an hour, we were immediately told not for kids, and can we get you chairs. A nurse stayed with Lian until she went up to pediatrics. We called our friend, Donna K., who works at the hospital but was out that day, and she sent an emissary to make sure we were doing OK. Lian was sound asleep when we went in but began to surface, still very groggy. The anesthesiologist came by and told us she’d given her a lot of meds and Lian wouldn’t be really awake until tomorrow – she didn’t want her to cry and stretch the lip. Since she’d been in surgery for almost 5 hours they kept her in recovery for a couple hours. We went up to pediatrics, Lian being wheeled in her crib just before 4pm. Pediatrics is very family friendly. They have reclining chairs beside every bed, snacks in a little kitchenette and a microwave and fridge if you are ordering out, free TV in the rooms, a playroom and a resource room full of books and DVDs. There’s a computer with a permanent Internet connection if you can kick the kids out of the way. There’s a shower for parents and they gave us a bag of toiletry supplies and extra pillow right away.
Lian started to become more alert, and Jamie realized that she wasn’t trying to pick at her mouth – she was signing water. We propped her up and started dribbling water into her mouth. Thank goodness we taught her sign – she wouldn’t have had anyway to “tell “ us otherwise – and what a smart little cookie, she knew how to get her needs met. I was giving her a teaspoon or two at a time, since the Dr. said go slow, we don’t want her tummy upset. We started her on a little apple juice too. I chatted with her roommate’s mom. Her 5yo was having mysterious chest pains, it was their third stay with no resolution.
Neither of us was prepared for an overnight stay, but since we only live about 15 minutes away it was not a big deal. Since I had taken a shower that am and he had not, Jamie left to get cleaned up, bring back changes of clothes, sweats to sleep in, the phone charger, and pick up Lela for a visit. While he was gone, Lian continued to sip juice and water, eventually downing almost a cup of fluids. Since she was doing so well the nurses decided get her a “clear” tray for dinner – broth, juice, jello, and Italian ice. They moved us to another room closer to the nursing station since they couldn’t hear her monitor and this is an older part of the hospital- the monitors aren’t hooked to the desk. Since she was pretty alert I put a Carebears DVD in the laptop for her to watch in her crib, since the plastic curtain on her crib prevented her from seeing the TV, and she liked that. When I checked her diaper she had produced, so all systems were working. When Jamie returned with Lela, he told me Lela really needed me at home and he would stay over. Lian’s new roommate was a little girl from California, who was also turning 4 in January just like Lela. She and Lela hit it of and went off to her nest at the window end of the room. Since Lian’s tray had still not arrived, Lela and I went off to the kitchenette to see what we could find – and of course, it arrived while we were gone. Lian liked the orange jello, but not the strawberry, had a few sips of broth, preferred the watermelon ice to the lemon (no surprise) and really wanted Lela’s ice cream cup. I did give her a few small spoonfuls. She dozed off again. Her nurse decided to give her anti-nausea meds just in case she needed a painkiller later on. Lela and I left about 9 and Dr. R. showed up 15 minutes later, so Jamie called as soon as we got home. She was very pleased with Lian’s progress. Lian will probably be released this morning between 9-10.
So how did Lian do overnight?
If you are a mere mortal who has just had two kinds of oral surgery and your nose and upper lip rebuilt, you would be curled in a fetal ball whining for more pain meds (that would be me.)
If you are a trooper, you would be bravely smiling and sipping a little liquid since that is what the Dr. told you to do.
If you are a Super Trooper, your surgeon on her discharge visit discovers you polishing off a plate of scrambled eggs and remarks incredulously, “She’s eating?”, you also make serious inroads into a cup of orange jello, are prepared to “work” your condition in order to wrest possession of a toy cash register from your sister, pick sweats over pj’s for your going home outfit, only cry when they yank your IV and it bleeds, walk out the door on your own steam waving bye-bye (then immediately want to be carried the rest of the way), eat an Italian ice in the car, and speak your first post-operative words upon arriving home, “Ats MINE.”
Everyone told us, “Kids bounce back” Well Lian is made of rubber I guess, since her recovery amazed even the peds ward nurses. We are so thrilled that the palate is done and she did so well, and if she doesn’t splat on her face and split her lip open – a real source of anxiety since she took off running as soon as she got home, she now may not need another surgery for several years. It will be exciting to see her new look once the swelling goes down.

Miracles

2007-12-30T14:28:00.000-05:00

Once we were waiting
for a child to call our own.
A baby to hold in our arms,
to make our house a home.

I dreamed of a little girl,
who was grinning up at me,
with a great big gap-toothed smile,
as wide as it could be.

It’s almost Christmas time.
We got an e-mail one day.
It said, "We’ve gotten your referral.
Pictures are on the way."

Then we got a little picture.
We’d be a mom and dad.
Our baby’s features were perfect,
But her eyes were oh so sad.

I worried would she love me?
Would I know how to love her?
At this late date I was afraid,
I wouldn’t be a good mother.

Then in a room in China,
I held my baby tight.
I felt my heart exploding,
So this was love at first sight.

Those sad eyes learned to sparkle,
Feet to run across the floor.
Our darling is growing older,
She’s not a baby anymore.

We thought we had love for more
than our family of three.
Another child might be waiting,
but where could she be?

I remembered the gap-toothed girl
I’d seen once in my dreams.
She might still be waiting.
There are miracles it seems.

This time we were looking
At special boys and girls.
Their bodies might not be perfect,
But each soul’s a gleaming pearl.

You might have to look harder,
sometimes that’s all it takes.
But even if you can’t see it,
God doesn’t make mistakes.

We got an e-mail about a little girl,
With chubby cheeks and a happy grin,
Maybe not my dream girl,
But this one pulled us in.

The e-mail said she was turning one,
Today was her birthday.
She needed a family,
could we make it a special day?

We said, "Yes we want her,
she is the perfect one."
We’d have her home for Christmas.
Her life had just begun.

Well the best-laid plans can go wrong,
Eighteen months have gone by,
We’re again in a room in China,
And suddenly she’s arrived

A little girl dressed in yellow
Scared and very shy,
I waited for my heart to leap,
Then we both began to cry.

Now again it’s Christmas.
We’re a family of four.
Since that day in China,
My heart’s grown a couple sizes more.

My husband took some pictures
of our girls beside the tree.
I’m putting them on the computer,
and what did I see?

A little girl with a gap-toothed grin
was smiling up at me.
It seems some miracles are to close,
For us to truly see.

So I learned a lesson,
that love can never fail.
We’re surrounded by miracles and angels,
and God can use e-mail!

Strange but true. I "saw" this picture almost 4 years ago, but until now I didn't see that it was Lian. I think we are surrounded by miracles and angels in disguise (who may not even know they are angels), we're just too busy with our daily lives to notice. Sometimes you have to smacked upside the head (HELLOOOO, God to Jennifer, WAKE UP!) to see what's right in front of you.

Christmas is here

2007-12-27T07:41:00.000-05:00

Dress #2, Cinderella, Cinderella!

The aftermath

Christmas Eve - Still being angels - Santa hasn't come yet

Family Service The Cherub Choir - Lela is peeking out from the back

Christmas Morning -Santa brought lots of goodies in the stockings

Grandma's House 9:30am Santa brought everything else to Grandma

Dress # 1, Princess Aurora

Annoyingly the pictures won't post in the order that I want, so imaging the first two are last. Xmas eve was the 5pm Family service with the kids choirs and carol sing, then back to Grandma's for dinner. Home to read "Twas the night before Xmas" and they did settle down right away. Christmas Day. I'm up as usual at 5, getting organized. Lian bangs to be let out at 7. 7:30 we wake up the princess who is still snoozing. They savage their stockings - Lela's favorite, tape - Lian's favorite, what ever she can get in her mouth. Then on to Grandma's House. Our friend Donna arrives from the city. No presents until after breakfast, then into the living room, where Santa has left a nice pile for each girl. Lian immediately decides she should have had Lela's princess rocking chair, but finally realizes the other pile is for her - all for her. Opening goes on till noon, Lian runs out of steam with several gifts left to go. She's never had a "real" Christmas with the massive overload of new toys, noise, paper, but she takes it pretty well. Jamie gets her to nap on the sofa while dinner is being prepared. Cinderella waltzes around the house, and by 3:30 we sit down to ham, green beans almondine, Brussell sprouts, salad, sweet potatoes Anna ( no sugar - just gobs of butter) rolls, and corn pudding. Followed by cheesecake and assorted candy. Finally home to bed, no bath (ignoring the candy cane stiffened hair.) As Lela said, "It's everything I ever wanted."

Jennifer has sent you a YouTube holiday video card

2007-12-27T06:30:00.001-05:00

Watch "One Heartbeat at a Time"

A video created by CHI waiting mom, Angel. Click on the picture. I defy you to watch without crying. Lela and Lian are at 7:08

Merry Christmas

2007-12-24T07:36:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. We've had a busy time, since I haven't done any wrapping yet, no time to wite a long missive. So I'm posting our Xmas letter, yeah, yeah, you've read some of it before.

It has been an exciting year – in a much better way than last year. As you recall from last year’s saga, Jamie began working at Strategic Insights and we were resuming progress on our second adoption of Han Lian aka Lian Elizabeth Rose. We filed our paperwork with the CIS/Homeland Security on 1/3/07, the last piece of paperwork in a massive paper chase. Jamie’s fingerprints were ok, and then they were rejected. And then we waited and waited. Lian turned two on March 28th. We finally got our approval on April 28th. By then our police clearances had expired so we went back to County police headquarters and then to the County notary to get an official seal for all our documents.
I dashed in to NYC to get the state seal and on to the Chinese Consulate for final approval. Ach – no County notary on our home study. Luckily the notary was certified in Manhattan too, so I only had to run 12 blocks uptown and then back – and then to the Consulate. The upshot, China got our complete dossier on May 17th, good thing since our medicals would have expired on May 30th.
And then we waited some more. A surprise update arrived in July (the only info we had was from when Lian was 6 months old). We found out that Lian had had her palate surgery and that she was tiny. Oops – I had already given away the 18 month summer clothes. On August 6th we received our Letter of Acceptance, just to make sure we still wanted to adopt, duh. Our travel approval came in record time, arriving August 23rd a slightly late birthday present to me, yeah! We all left for China on September 11th and spent three days touring Beijing. Next stop Xi’an (site of the Terra-cotta warriors) where we were united with Lian. Lastly to Guangzhou (which felt like old home week since we had spent two weeks there when adopting Lela). While there, we took a day trip to Lela’s institute in Shaoguan. We came home September 27th. All of this is (extensively) chronicled on our blog. Go to the September archives.
The newest member of the family is doing very well. She was in an exceptional institution, HanZhong Social Welfare Institute, where the special needs unit is run by English Langauge Association and supportd by Caring for China. She has almost no delays aside from those associated with her cleft lip and palate. The bad news is that the repairs in China need to be redone so she needs additional surgery. January 4th she goes in for nose/lip revision, ear tubes and tooth extraction. Repairing her soft palate will have to wait until early summer as the China repair needs time to heal. Meanwhile, she is starting speech therapy, going to toddler music, story time and Sunday school nursery. She is a bright, funny, affectionate little girl who hit the ground running. Her speech is limited due to the open soft palate, but she makes the best of it. Since her consonants are limited to m, n, h, w and approximations of l and t, it’s a little tricky to understand her. But Mama, Mine, and NO are loud and clear. She’s also picking up American sign language via Signing Time and has a vocabulary of about 60 words and signs, no cognitive language problems there, and much better than my Mandarin. She’s a whiz at puzzles and mechanical toys – maybe an engineer in the future? We’re looking at Easter in March ’08 for her baptism.
Lela is sprouting up. Having achieved a towering 38” she’s now legal for carnival rides and a full head taller than little sis Lian. Lela enjoys the bossing aspect of big sisterdom, but is not as crazy about all the sharing. She resumed Chinese class this fall. It’s not just language but culture with dancing and songs. Last spring her school performed at the Flushing mall to a 99% Chinese audience and brought down the house. She also goes to toddler music, story time, and pre-k Sunday school. She had her acting debut in the Sunday school production of Stone Soup in October, with the line, “I have eggplant.” We’re looking at a gymnastics class since she can put her foot on top of her head while standing up with no effort. Plus she has gotten into the social circuit, which means playdates and birthday parties. Lots of birthday parties – so hers in January will be a big one, with a piñata, to which she has already invited half the kids on Long Island. She is still very much a princess, Cinderella to be exact. Her favorite colors are purple, closely followed by Cinderella blue and pink too. She is VERY articulate, loves big words and is good at picking up phrases like, “I can’t stand it” and “We’re out of here.” Is that nature or nurture?
After a somewhat rocky start they are getting along like sisters – playing, squabbling, sharing, hugging, shoving, tattling, engaging in secretive scheming (the meringue machination and the cereal caper come to mind.) How are we doing? Parenting two under-fives is an adventure, especially at 50 something (No, we are not their grandparents.) But it’s one we wouldn’t trade for all the tea in China. There are times when the volume is above safety regulations and now they can run in opposite directions. Conspiracy – we’d forgotten about that aspect of siblings. We also get to re-experience childhood – a great excuse to ride a giant slide, and the snuggly kisses, silly games, and pleasure of seeing them light up when they “get” something new.
Jamie is enjoying his now not so new job. They’ve done a lot of tough work – like the candy survey that required buying over 300 different packs of candy and gum. While waiting for our travel date, he attended to the various waterworks in our leaky house, including repairing all the fixtures in one bathroom. He is also the handyman at Mom’s home. Current project - restoring the 100 year old wrap-around porch with its 10 columns and railings with help from sister Christy, occasional visits from brother Kirby and nephew Evan, and Mom when she’s feeling guilty about watching the workers (she likes to scrape and sand.)
I am still waaaay over committed (Church Facility Mgr., Village Com. of the Environment, Audubon VP & Newsletter Ed., Board or Chair of RFMBPW, MBPC, CCPW, PWPC, LISSCAC, TNHEC, TNHWFA – there must be an anagram somewhere in that alphabet soup) and ready to be committed most days. But I am happy being a semi stay at home mom - meaning I stay at home AND work - interesting trying to conduct a phone call while two wailing demons, uh, children are trying to scale my legs. This and the sleep deprivation aspect of parenthood give insight into new possibilities for information extraction techniques: Talk, or we turn you over to the toddlers! I submitted photos and an essay that were accepted for the Love Without Boundaries’ new coffee table book, Love’s Journey 2, http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/ (We’re on page 195.) This is a terrific charity that helps the children in China’s Institutions, most of whom will NOT be adopted. The founder, Amy Eldridge, personally made the contacts for us to deliver a wheelchair in Beijing that was donated by a family at our church.
In July Lela and I were able to visit the rest of the Wilson clan in Wisconsin courtesy of sister Carrie and Southwest’s unbelievable $78 roundtrip fare. Sister Gillian and nephew Oscar came up from Chicago too. We had a great time and I was reminded of how child friendly Madison is. The zoo is free, and so is the parking, the beaches, the County Fair if you’re under 10 (and a stiff $5 if you are older) and dollar a ride day makes it easy on the pocket book. We also went to the Farmer’s Market and big open-air art show (cookie bribes being applied at regular intervals.) Lela also enjoyed the wading pool in the backyard and biking to the local play ground - on her 2-wheeler with training wheels. She had a blast on her new favorite carnival attraction, the giant slide (5 trips down with Aunt Carrie, 3 with mom). And she loves cotton candy.
This year we doubled our blessings. We have so much to be thankful for; our darling, lovable, smart, crabby, silly, loving little angels, our family and friends, our teeny and very humble home overflowing with plastic toys, books, pets, and herds of dust bunnies (do they qualify as pets?) The beautiful place we live with the beach and bay within minutes walk and the great library, the exquisite birds that frequent our yard, health and happiness, and that we can live without a lot of monetary wealth, good thing since we haven’t won the lottery yet.
Glad tidings to you and your kin, hold them close and rejoice in their uniqueness. Don’t forget the stranger and those in need. Live life with an open heart and hand, and be prepared to follow the path less taken—it can lead to unexpected joy.

Love Jennifer, Jamie, Lela and Lian

HO HO HO

2007-12-10T20:43:00.000-05:00

With Christmas bearing down like a freight train, it's tough to be reflective when you have to shop, clean, decorate, shop, entertain, send cards, shop, wrap, mail, shop.The busyness can be wearing but it's a pleasure at times. This weekend was jam packed with fun. On Saturday we had our traditional morning out with Grandma P to buy a tree, then breakfast at the local diner. Then I rushed out to do some shopping, returning to pick up Lela and take her to her Chinese Class. We returned to Grandma's house and decorated her tree. Busy but nice. Sunday we had church immediately followed (after a 45 minute drive) by the annual FCC (Families with Children from China) Holiday Party. There were dozens of families with little girls and a sprinkling of boys from China, dressed in their holiday best. All those little girls twirling on the dance floor in red, black, pink and gold velvet , taffetta and tulle was a lovely sight.
Santa visited with gifts (provided by parents.) This year we finally have a Santa picture! Lela overcame her fears and now says she, "Loves Santa." Lian is pretty un-phaseable so a big guy in a red suit was just one more oddity of her new life, though she was not crazy about being scooped up on his lap. She's very self confident. After scoping out the scene she felt comfortable checking out the dance floor, food line, the DJ booth, and other peoples's plates, while periodically checking back with us to see if any interesting food had appeared in her absence. Lela picked at the brunch buffet but managed an enormous bowl of strawberry icecream with sprinkles and cherries for desert.

Coconspirators Indicted!

2007-12-04T05:53:00.000-05:00

I guess everyone has days like this, but…..It was a dark and stormy night. Rising at 5am I had already gotten a jump on the day – I was showered, dressed and had read a few e-mails. By 7am the dawn had failed to break through the dense clouds and drizzle. Then the whine of little voices could be heard on the monitor – "mama, Mama, MAMA." We had company coming early, so I hustled them downstairs, got them stated on breakfast and whipped into the living room to vacuum. About 15 minutes later, I return to the kitchen to find that in my absence they had;
1. Gotten a new box of cereal off the counter and filled their bowls – and the table and floor.
2. Got the milk out of the fridge and topped off their bowls, and the table.
3. Tried to clean up the mess using a whole roll of paper towels. The dog cleaned up the cereal and milk on the floor.
4. Spotted a bag of Goldfish crackers on the counter, gotten it down, gotten out new bowls (we go through about 20 a day since our finicky little darlings can only use a clean bowl) and spoons and retreated to the powder room to consume. I think Lian was the dupe, since she was sitting happily on the potty stool when I found them, but Lela clearly knew she was in for it, as she had crammed herself behind the toilet to snarf down her ill gotten gains.
I wasn’t amused at the time, but am now pretty amazed at their ingenuity. But I now had 30 minutes to get them cleaned up and dressed, and re-clean the kitchen before Lian’s speech therapist showed up.
However, that was not all for the day. We had an action packed schedule – after the therapist, I stuffed them into raincoats and then into car seats and it was off to the races. Lian’s story time at 10:30, playing group at the church nursery at 11:30 (with lunch), home for nap. Latter on, when I thought I had them safely settled with snacks in front of a PBS Kids show, and was upstairs for few minutes getting a load of laundry, they again swung into action. Coming downstairs to an empty living room and then kitchen I experienced brief panic. Not in the powder room or coat closet. Not in the utility room - wait - that’s a foot sticking out from behind the hot water heater. And there they were, wedged behind the heater and furnace. Covered in the remnants of chocolate meringue cookies. Standing on what had been the dryer vent hose, now flattened. So much for clean clothes. Did you know that chocolate meringue + saliva = stains that require 5 go rounds in the washer to eradicate? I bet not.
The next day we had the cereal caper, with an entire (new) bag of cereal strewn across the living room. When grilled, Lela ratted out little sis Lian and I had to agree. The modus operandi was her highchair pushed up against the counter for access. Lela prefers to stand on cane-seated chairs, the better to poke holes with her sharp little tootsies. At least they are now acting like sisters. Somehow I had managed to forget the criminal conspiracy aspect of sisterhood, but thinking back…..
Maybe straight jackets are called for, but since I don’t think they make them in 18M and 3T, I’ll just order on for myself.

Happy Thankgiving

2007-11-22T11:55:00.000-05:00

A day for giving thanks, not that it shouldn't be part of every day. We have so much to be thankful for.
Lian is doing well. Despite needing additional surgery to say most consonants, (she is limited to m,n and h right now) she is picking up vocabulary and language. That still allows her to say, "Mine!" and "No" very clearly. This morning when Jamie got out a jacket for her she said, "not mine" recognizing it as Lela's. Then when given another coat, she handed it back saying,"not match." Puleze Papa, I'm wearing pink today. Another little fashionista is born. She starts speech next Monday. Her first surgery for lip/nose reconstruction, ear tubes and a tooth removal is now scheduled for January 4.
Lela is adapting to her new sister. She likes the status of big sister and has taken on the mantle of bossing with a regal air. They fight, but that's what sisters do sometimes. They also play and conspire, build pillow tents, hold elaborate tea services, (no one without a tiara admitted.) and consider napping on Lela's bed together as the best treat there is.
So we offer thanks for our darling, beloved girls. They are home forever, free to blossom, discover their talents, grow and find their own paths. Thanks for our family and friends who have supported us in our journey, through the downs and the ups. Thanks for this beautiful place where we live. Thanks for a sunny day with a few last roses blooming to grace our dinner table.
The tears and trials that lead us here are in the past. Our hearts and arms are full. The guiding hand that brought these two little miracles to us has given a blessing that can never be repaid, and for that we give thanks, now and forever.

Catching Up

2007-11-05T06:38:00.000-05:00

Finally got the computer to cooperate long enough to put up some new images. We've had an action packed month - so much for a quiet family introduction for the new child. This child is doing just fine anyway. Some was of necessity - Lian had to see a slew of doctors. Some of it was seasonal - Halloween and the Church Fair are not movable feasts. Some of it was just life. The weather cooperated in October and we were graced with many extra days of summer so Lian got her first taste of the beach (about a 5 minute walk from our house.) She and Lela had a great time building a huge sand "castle" though I'm sure a building inspector would condemn it in a flash.

Dress up rules in our household and Lian has taken to it like the proverbial princess to a tiara (sorry ducks.) The second picture is Halloween but it is sandwiched between a glimpse of more everyday wear around the house. The clomping of high heels is now stereo.

We had good news bad news with Lian's medical reports. She'll be getting speech therapy from Early Intervention. Good news - no cognitive problems with her language abilities. Bad new - she just doesn't have the physical equipment to make many of the sounds we take for granted. That will come with additional surgery, but we will pick up the pace on learning sign language so she doesn't get frustrated.

Good news - her surgeon has decided to redo her lip now so she'll have mobility on that side of her face - and look even cuter. When they redo her palate next spring they will even give her some collagen to fill out her upper lip.

Big sis Lela is getting more accustomed to her shadow. Whatever Lela does, Lian wants to try. As a big sister I can remember this - and while it can be flattering it can also DRIVE YOU NUTS. So I do call off the dog occasionally. Speaking of dogs, Lian has gone from screaming in terror at the mere glimpse of a tail to hugging and giving out the dog treats, not to mention allowing the dog to clean her plate. Gotta get a picture of that. Gotta convey that dog licked plates still have to go through the dishwasher before reuse.

All in all, Lian has adapted to her new life so quickly and completely that I keep waiting for the shoe to drop - then the other one. She has bonded with us, the dog, even the chief competition, Lela. She gives grandma hugs and kisses. She picks out her shoes. She uses a potty for #2. She eats brocolli and tofu and asks for more! What more could a mother ask for.