Monday, December 22, 2008

Christmas Letter 2008

Lela at Rainbow Park
" Helping" rake the leaves at Grandma Pines

Gingerbread House at the Bronx Botanical Gardens


Lian and her Care Bears




Yes, it's the lazy woman's way out. I'm posting our Chritmas letter.
Charlotte's version; We did lots of stuff, had fun, it was a great year. LOL
Time for the annual review. January 08 started with Lian’s surgery to repair her not so good China surgery. She went in on the 4th at 5:30am for nose/lip revision, tooth extraction, ear tubes and possible palate work. After several hours in the waiting room, we figured they had decided to tackle her palate too. Her surgery ran 4.5 hours, she spent 2 hours in recovery and then up to the peds ward. Once she was more awake, she started picking at her lip – no, she was signing for water, little smarty. She bounced back so fast everyone was amazed. She was doing so well the nurses gave her a clear dinner – broth, jello, juice, sherbet. She only stayed overnight (and Jamie stayed with her) because her surgeon didn’t want to send her home at 10pm. The next morning she was ready to go after snarfing down a plate of scrambled eggs.
January is also Lela’s birthday and Family day, three years since she was placed in our arms. She had a small family party and big all girl princess blast with her entire Chinese class and Sunday school friends, 15 little girls in dress up – accompanied by 21 adults. Not in our micro house, we used 2 rooms at our church.
February finally brought enough snow for sledding – a first for Lian. And a visit by our social worker for her 6 month report. Wow, that went fast. Lian’s lip was still healing and puffy – and she managed to splat on her newly repaired and oh so expensive face not once, but twice, fortunately with no lasting damage. Then Chinese class Chinese New Year party with lion dancing, dumpling making and a traditional feast courtesy of our wonderful teacher, Man Li Lin.
The Easter bunny arrived in March with so many goodies they overflowed the baskets. This year Lela had overcome her fears of large costumed characters (finally figuring costumes=goodies) and sat with the bunny who came to church coffee hour. Lian wasn’t so sure about giant bunnies and sat on Lela’s other side. Lian turned 3 on the 28th, and we had a small family party because the big party for her baptism was only 2 weeks away. She had healed well enough to drink from a straw and blow out her birthday candles – big milestones. We had waited for her baptism due to the unknowns of surgery schedule, recovery and family schedules. It all came together on April 13. Lian wore a Chinese silk dress with my family’s Christening gown over it, while I prayed for its 100 year old seams to hold up. Lela held the baptismal candle and didn’t set fire to her hair. Our friends, Bob Kerner and Donna Haggarty, are the God parents. It was a wonderful and I managed not to cry until Father Kurt sent us down the aisle together as a family. We had a big party after the service at the church and invited everyone, with catering done by Moi, so most of the previous month was cook and freeze. Sister Gillian and nephew Oscar arrived to help celebrate.
May was my first mother’s day with 2, an occasion for reflection – I never thought I’d end up 50 something with two little girls. It also brought far away tragedy, the earthquake in Sichuan, China. Lian’s city, HanZhong, is on the Sichuan border about 250 miles from the epicenter, and suffered damage and fatalities. No one from her institution was hurt, but a wall collapsed, buildings cracked, and they lived in tents while the aftershocks rolled on and on.
Memorial Day opened a nearly perfect summer. Into that 3 day weekend we crammed; picnicking at the beach, marching in the local parade (Lela’s third time, Lian’s first), post parade picnic at our church where Lela won the wheelbarrow race against bigger kids, a trip to the Queens zoo, another first for Lian, and a neighbor’s birthday party complete with petting zoo and pony ride. That month also had two big events for Lian; diapers no, big girl panties yes, and surgery for a new set of ear tubes (the first set kept clogging up with wax.)
The 4th of July was wet and grey, but Jamie was playing in the community band so we watched from under an umbrella, while local pyrotechnics provided excitement. We took our first trip to the big zoo- Da Bronx - with Aunt Christy. Somewhere along the line, Lela had because obsessed with the Lion King, so all things African were preferred. Her favorite, the lions, even gave us roaring and pouncing. Most of the summer was idyllic, swimming with friends, Friday night family picnics at the beach, library story time and water play at the park, concerts at the band shell, a couple of parties for leavening. I’m so lucky my kids have a social life, so I get one too.
August featured an epic trip to WI to visit my mom and dad, just me and the girls and mountains of their luggage, 2 car seats, stroller... We nearly missed our plane courtesy of Southwest only assigning 2 guys to check in bags for 5 planes, and our bags did miss the plane. So we got to spend a delightful 2 hours at the Midway baggage carousel, waiting, waiting for the next plane. And we’d only been up since 4am. Finally secured our bags, the rental car and off to the Mad City. We had a great time with Grandma and Grandpa Wilson and saw the sights – the zoo, beach, playground, Sweet Corn festival and carnival – but Lian is not an adrenalin junkie like Lela. We squeezed in a quick stop in Chicago to visit Gillian and Oscar in their new digs, and the Shedd aquarium before returning.
September brought school, pre-k for both girls. Lian was approved by our school district for a school for speech and language and rides the bus an hour each way. Lela goes 4 afternoons for 2.5 hours, 15 minutes away. Guess which one had separation issues. Lela started our church music and art program for big kids as she will be 5 soon – with Lian tagging along. 9/16 was Lian’s first Family Day, home a whole year. It’s amazing what she has taken in her tiny stride – adoption to a strange land, surgeries, therapies, learning a new language, many, many new experiences, undergoing the most killer PE program on the planet, following big sister Lela (a chubby child that walked with a wobbly toddler gait can swing from the monkey bars), toilet training! She’s a wonder and perfect for our family. As a bonus, Lela went dry at night with no accidents.
October is merely a run up to Halloween. Lela suffered serious indecision in costume choice. A lion, a Dalmatian, a lion, a princess, a lion, a princess. She finally settled on Belle, of Beauty and the Beast. Lian was princess Aurora, or “Wo-wa”. We trick or treated with friends around town, and acquired huge bags of swag which still linger.
Turkey day was a quiet family affair. Christy did the turkey and stuffing, I did the sides and a bakery did deserts.
As we barrel into December, the Xmas frenzy is ramping up – at least on Lela’s part. It’s good for naughty or nice threats. This is only Lian’s second Xmas and I’m not sure it’s really registered yet. So far we’ve scheduled the miniature train exhibit at the Bronx Botanical Gardens, Chinese class party, 4 pre-k parties and concerts, FCC Xmas party, 2 birthday parties, and are trying to figure out how to cram in a visit to Macy’s Santa land and the Bronx zoo winter wonderland – and see some friends. Note that this is their social schedule, not ours. Just to add more excitement, Jamie and I were gifted with dual cases of bronchitis just in time for the holidays and I found out I’m allergic to one of the 3 meds I was on, courtesy of a red, bumpy, extremely itchy rash, but not which one.
Me, good things. I have a new PT job, Executive Director of the Manhasset Bay Protection Committee, an inter-municipal water quality group. New glasses, nice to see clearly again. Bad stuff, undergoing a speed root canal and crown this spring as my dentist raced to beat our loss of dental insurance. I’m still volunteering for numerous causes; Audubon, Community Chest, Ecological Commission, Waterfront Commission, and working for St. Stephen’s. I spent many frustrating weekends this summer trying to locate a leak in our backyard fish pond, which involved pretty much rebuilding the perimeter, so much fun; sweltering heat, heavy rocks, slime and mud. No veggies went in this year, (anyone who says two kids are as easy as one lies like a rug) but lots of fruit all summer long; juneberries, tiny alpine strawberries, raspberries, plums, blackberries, figs, raspberries again, enough to share with the birds. Plant oaks for your children, fruit for yourself.
Jamie continues to work at Strategic Insights Inc. He planned on building a shed in the back yard this summer as part of a long range plan. Then we’d convert our useless as a garage storeroom into another room, move the office down there and reclaim the third bedroom as a playroom/bedroom – there are teenage girls in our future. Instead he took out several raised beds to create a piece of lawn for the girls to play on and built a brick patio with their help, as long as you define help as excavating the sand and dirt base to make mud pies and bury all sorts of interesting things. They preferred the mud to the lawn. All our pets are with us, (1 dog, 2 cats, 60 outdoor goldfish) though Sally the dog is getting old, how old we’re not sure since she was a rescue dog, but she’s been with us for 12 years.
When we sit down to dinner and look across the table at our girls, we are overcome by the presence of everyday miracles. Lela clutching her stuffed animal de jour and pillow cover, Lian now the one most likely to be dressed in a pink, shimmery princess costume, tiara and high heels; giggling, whispering, poking each other, sneaking food on and off plates, throwing diva snits in stereo. Real sisters. Two sparkling threads of light that embroider our lives. Every once in a while someone will say how lucky the girls are, and we always reply, “No, we’re the lucky ones” unable to compress the wonder, joy and love they have brought us into a snappier retort.
Though times seem dark and frightening, there is hope all around, often found in small, oddly wrapped packages. Prosperity is not about money, but striving and thriving, so we wish you a prosperous New Year. We long for the shelter of peace, and pray for all who live in fear and uncertainty. May your holidays and New Year be filled with the presence of family and friends, joy in the moment, hope for the future, and love for a lifetime.
Love to All,
Jennifer, Jamie, Lela and Lian
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Friday, December 5, 2008

Great Thoughts

It is much better to make your child's sandwich when you are fully awake and unlikely to mistake the foil wrapped package of white creamy Crisco for the very similar package of cream cheese.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Goodbye Cinderella




A second in time where the world changed in a small way.

Lela has been obsessed with Cinderella since before she was two. She has watched all the Disney movies, (there are three), the TV musicals (Julie Andrews and Leslie Ann Warren), memorized all the songs, “read” the books, and was Cinderella from the hem of her blue satin gown to the sparkly tiara in her silky black hair.

And it was not just Disney Cinderella, though that was the most beloved. Ethnic versions from all over the globe piled up in the bookcase. Cinderella figurines multiplied underfoot. Lela would be so in character when gowned that she would only answer to “Cinderella.” I was cast as the Stepmother, Stepsisters, Fairy Godmother and the Prince, and got to waltz with the princess. The good news was that raggedy Cinderella, the pre-ball scullery maid, would wash floors. Sometimes it was fun, but living and breathing Cinderella can be wearing after a year or two.

I never had an issue with the princesses, despite growing up in the feminist movement of the 70’s. Perhaps it was the knowledge that loving dress up and fairy tales hadn’t stopped me from being who I wanted. There are always lessons to be gained and Cinderella is kind, generous, and loving despite hardship and does ultimately grab for her gold ring. Unlike when I was a child, there are now sequels – we get to find out what happened after the coach ride into the sunset – and the good news is that Cinderella gets a lot more backbone. I had more of an issue with the cost of the princesses’ multitudinous array of products and the consumerism it breeds.

But as she went to pre-k, gained more friends and grew, Cinderella began to wane, exchanged for other interests. One afternoon during the pre-dinner clean up, I was harassing her to put away the hoard of princess figurines strewn around the floor. She picked them up in reluctantly exaggerated slow-motion and dropped them in the bin, but when she got to Cinderella, held the figure up to her face, smiled, kissed the little plastic head and tenderly said, “Goodbye Cinderella” before placing her gently in the box. In that second I felt my heart squeeze with pain and love as I felt the world shift sideways by a tiny bit. My little girl was growing, changing, opening new doors, bidding farewell to a piece of her childhood with that kiss. A fragile snowflake of innocence had melted away in that instant. The pain of knowing that someday I might be the recipient of such a kiss as she headed out the door to save the world or down a flower decked aisle, again gowned as a princess to find her version of happily ever after.

Good bye Cinderella, I never knew that I would miss you.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Summer is gone

Halloween is gone too, how did that happen? The temperatures dropped, I had to break out the parkas, frost put the garden to bed, Thanksgiving is behind us and Xmas looming around the corner.

To review, August - visited my parents in WI with Lela and Lian, had a great time. Went to the FCC summer picnic, Fridays at the beach, play dates, swimming at Grandma Barbara's. It was the summer of fruit, with bumper crops of juneberies, raspberries, plums, blackberries and figs from our yard. I never got it together to do vegetables, but fruit just keep on going once you've planted it. The fall crop of raspberries sweetened the chill of autumn. Not the generous gush of summer, but one sweet surprise hidden in the leaves, then another.

September rolled in and school for the first time for both girls. Lian is going to a full day pre-k school for speech and language 30 miles away, Lela is in afternoon pre-k 15 minutes away for 2.5 hours, 4 days a week. Lian rides a bus for an hour. Guess which one is having the tough time adjusting. Yep, first day I was called back to the room because Ms. Lela could not stop crying. Next day Grandma had to sit in as I had a conference to attend (Oh, in the midst of this I have started a new PT job - Exec. Dir. of the Manhasset Bay Protection Committee, an inter-municipal water quality work group.) Then I spent the next couple days in a very small, very hard wooden chair in the hall. The next week in a room around the corner. Then she was fine - for a week, and then relapsed, so I was back in the hall for at least 15 minutes until she settled in. Getting a lot of Sudoku done.

Lian hops on the bus and waves good-bye. She's doing really well. Her articulation has improved, as has her vocabulary. She's making new friends and is a big helper in class. Her English is good enough now (wish I could be fluent in Mandarin in a year) that she can make little jokes - she will sing the Lion King song, Hakuna Matata, as Hakuna Banana just to make Lela crazy. There's nothing wrong with her brain, Mom. We had our annual visit with her cleft team and the good news is - there's nothing for them to do for now. She'll start orthodontistry when she's 5 to expand her palate and move her teeth into position for her next surgery, a bone graft to stabilize her jaw when she's about 9. We are waiting results from our visit to an endocrinologist because, despite a year of hearty eating and exercise, she is still not on the chart for height.

Halloween was the great vacillation. Lela could not make up her mind. She was going to be a lion, no, a Dalmatian, no, a lion, no, a princess. Lian was princess. Lela finally settled on Belle from Beauty and the Beast - which required a new costume, supplied by E-bay and fancied up by mom. We treated three different neighborhoods and ended the evening at the home of Lela's new friend from pre-k. Vast amounts of candy were acquired and are still lingering on as of Dec 5. Tragedy struck in the loss of Halloweeny, a small black stuffed cat Lela had insisted on hauling along, still missing. And my cell phone, though that was recovered by a friend who took one look at the lime green bag, and was pretty sure who it belonged to.

The kids regard Thanksgiving as a mere way stop on the way to the big event, Christmas. I was happy to sit and eat a tasty repast; turkey and stuffing by Christy, sides by me, deserts by bakery.

I've already shopped for the kids, so that just leaves - everyone else, Xmas cards, Xmas letter, Xmas photo, house decorating, er cleaning, Grandma's house decorating, wrapping, wrapping, 8 zillion social events (mostly the kids social lives) Are we having fun yet?
Pix to follow.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Way behind, trip to WI


And the computer isn't helping. Only four out of 10 images loaded. Anyway. In August, Lela, Lian and I flew out to visit my parents in WI on Southwest. The flight was fine, except that 2 baggage checkers for 5 planes doesn't cut it, so we got to Chicago, but our suitcase didn't. Luckily the next flight was 2 hours later, so I only had to hang around the baggage carousel (since we were no longer ticketed and couldn't return to the food court) for that long with a couple of kids who had been up since 4am. Finally we were out of there, driving our rented PT Cruiser to Madison, arriving mid afternoon. The car had satellite radio - Cool! but no list of stations. At least it wasn't all country.
We had a great time and did all the requisite fun stuff, the zoo, the zoo, swimming, playground, the Sun Prairie Sweet Corn Festival, shopping the real Lands End outlet,the Farmer's Market, dinner at the Ginza with the flaming volcano of onions. Lela and Lian spent a lot of time just being silly with grandma. I missed almost all of the Olympics, as I was doing bedtime alone. I also found that sleeping three in a bed, even king size, is not to restful if the other two are thrashing, flipping, heat seeking missiles. I'll try to post more later.


Just got the news about Sarah Palin




The zoo has a new children's play area with climbing tower, slides, bridge. I had to drag the girls away to actually look at animals

Help I'm stuck. It was so humid that Lian, instead of speeding down the slide was glued by her damp rear and had to inch down.


Lela the Lion.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Days of Summer

Long gone are the seemingly eternal summers of childhood (at least for me.) But there are still days when everything is perfect; the sky, the water, the company, and the cares and concerns of life drift away on the breeze. There are even some days when you expect to hear the voice of God emanating from the sky (or at least Charlton Heston) saying, "Count your blessings."

We finally got the kayaks in the water. Both Lela and Lian took turns in the Sidekick, which is designed for an adult and kids - the thing is a scow, but you could tap dance on it and it wouldn't go over, unlike most kayaks. I think I can configure it for three seats and take them both out at the same time. Jamie could also sit Lian in his lap in his kayak, so we were all able to take a paddle out to the middle of the Bay.
What's wrong with this picture? Tote that bucket and lift that pail. Build another sandcastle before we sail.
This is the view - aren't we lucky?
We spent one afternoon assembling the Adirondack chairs that Christy had ordered. Once we realized that if we ignored the 12 page instructions, we could get them put together correctly, and they came together in time for the sunset.
Catching the breeze at the end of a perfect day.

Zoo Too

Back to the Bronx Zoo for member's night two. Aunt Christy met us there and we decided to hit the Wild Asia monorail and the new Madagascar exhibit - having first viewed the cartoon movie. From the monorail we saw lots of deer of all sizes, tigers, wild horses, red pandas, elephants - but the favorite was voted on as...... the mom and daughter Rhinos.
Many kinds of monkeys. Who is watching who?
A daredevil baby. It's about 40 feet up on this snag.
Let's try swinging from the vines.
Above and below, the fishes go.
In line for the new Madagascar exhibit. Papa is appropriately clad.
Madagascar is apparently crammed full of funky frogs and VERY LARGE insects. I like them best behind glass.
Ring-tailed lemurs, one of over a dozen lemur species.
And yes, there really are Foosa's -who like to lick their privates in public.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

The Zoo

Aunt Christy got us a family membership to Da Bronx Zoo, or rather the Wildlife Conservation Society. Anyhoo, they have member's nights in July and off we went (after an hour or so on the Cross Bronx.) First stop was Tiger Mountain where the tigers obligingly lazed by the glass, took a dip and wandered around in close proximity.
Tiger, Tiger, burning hot, took a dip, now you are not.
Lela's favorite beast of the moment, courtesy of Lion King (1, 1& 1/2 and 2 - we've seen 'em all, many, many, many times.) We were treated to roaring and pouncing.
A breeze break in the gift shop. Did I mention it was HOT?
Zoo employees get a little flaky at the end of an extra long day.
Out of the 8 zillion stuffed animals in the gift shop, Lela chose.....an elephant (tucked tightly under arm.) Go figure. Lela is all in yellow because that's required to be a lion - not sure of she was Nala , Kiara or Sarabi at the moment. The Thinker.
Some people go this way, and some go that way.
The Zoo had a tattoo booth - and not just a regular old stick-on tattoo, airbrush tattoos. Lela got (naturally) a lion. Lian went for a tiger.
It's not a perfect outing without food. Pizza in the food court, yum.


Wednesday, July 16, 2008

4th of July

Grandma has the biggest flag of all.
Pedaling at Grandma's house.
Friday night concert at the band shell.
The forth dawned dank and drear. Not a beach or picnic day. Jamie plays in the local community band on Fridays, so after a low-key day, we sat on the lawn to hear the concert. And immediately after this picture was taken, it started to rain, a heavy drizzle. Luckily I had a big golf umbrella, and we and most of the audience toughed it out. The conductor told an anecdote about a rainy concert where after hearing no applause, the conductor was about to call it off until he realised - you can't applaud while holding an umbrella. But the rain stopped before the concert was over and we had local pyrotechnic displays going off all around, so we got fireworks too.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

More June Goings on

Friday nights at the beach has become a regular family event. Watch the sail boats, the setting sun over the water, eat pizza, swim, have a glass of wine - what could be a better way to start the weekend?




Jamie and the girls driftin' away.
Even our dog, Sally, gets a swim.
Bathing Beauty All bundled up.

HarborFest - another big local event. Craft vendors, art show, music, food, a big kids area. I was manning or womaning rather the Audubon booth under the big tent. L and L had fun at the kids area. Lela decided she was ready for face painting.
Obsession du jour was Dalmatians ala the 101 Dalmatians (we've since moved on to Princess Kiara from Lion King 2, which requires she dress all in yellow, but of course.)



Lian was not to sure, but liked the results too. Monkey see monkey do is a big motivator around here.

Swimming Time. Our dear friend, "Grandma" Barbara has given an open invitation to her pool. Lela is "swimming" with a life vest by herself. Lian is pretty brave, and wants to learn, but we have a problem. She needs to wear an infant size vest (0-30lbs) but they are designed to roll a child face up - which makes swimming pretty tough. Guess we'll have to up size her to the next model.

Lela chillin' in the pool.
Lian ventures out into open water with Barbara.Playing on the pool steps is fun too.

Mother's Day

Last spring while riding the train home from the city where I had just handed in the last of Lian's paperwork, I had nothing to do since I had gone through all my reading material while waiting at the Chinese Embassy. I got out a notepad and this poem started to flow and practically wrote itself. Adoption can be bittersweet as there is no gain without a loss.
http://www.emkpress.com/mothersday.html

Lian on left in yellow

Lian on left in yellow
about 14 months, with her friend Hailey

Lian at 6 months

Lian at 6 months
Who could resist that smile?

Lian at 4 months

Lian at 4 months
Right after surgery for her lip

Sha'anxi Province Map

Sha'anxi Province Map
HanZhong in lower left

China Map

China Map
Sha'anxi Province in center