Sunday, March 30, 2008

Happy Birthday Lian

Birthday dinner. Notice that Lian is drinking with a straw. This is a big deal, something she couldn't do before her palate extension repair.


Adoption from China $20,000. Palate and lip surgery $60,000. Being able to blow out your birthday candles: priceless.


Opening presents with Grandma Pines

Lian turned 3 on Friday the 28th. We had a little family party for her on Thursday night so Aunt Christy could be there. We all went out for dinner, pizza and ziti, at one of the nicer pizzerias in town, Salvatores. Lian consumed a whole slice of pizza and a plate of ziti, no eating problems here. Her only oddity - she likes to hold her slices upside down, creating mom nerves as the cheese begins to dangle and droop dangerously near her chest.

Then back to Grandma's house to open presents. Lian knows the drill now, having done Christmas and Lela's birthday, so she plopped herself down and began pulling goodies out of bags with enthusiasm. Bad mama had failed to wrap most of the presents that have been in the closet since Christmas so only a few from us, but plenty from Grandma and Auntie. Her favorite; a teddy bear puzzle with interchangeable pieces so she can dress and change his expression. Her speech therapist uses one and she loves it so I had to track one down.

Friday shot by in a blur (part 3 of my root canal & crown) so she opened the rest of her presents on Saturday morning. Big hits were Mr./Ms. Potato Head (also used by her therapist) and new animals for the playskool farm. She and Lela played with the farm for a long time, with Lela directing the action. The animal figurine box was raided and gorillas, sea turtles and dinosaurs were added to the farm life. Gorillas like to sleep on hay bales, bet you didn't know that.

We kept this birthday low key as the big event will be in 2 weeks, her baptism.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Easter Pix

All this stuff!!! And the Easter Bunny brings cotton candy in plastic tubs too. Life is perfect.

Bubbles, stickers and candy. What could be better?

Hey, Mama's in the picture for once with her two cuties (even if their shirts say "Daddy's Princess.")


In our Easter bonnets after church service. We were good and colored quietly, well mostly.



The Easter Bunny visits at coffee hour. Lian is still not too sure about it. Hey, that's Mama again, what gives?

On to Grandma Pines for Easter dinner. Our friend Donna came out to join us. Everyone is glued to Lela's Easter basket DVD, Enchanted. The vermin are apartment cleaning.


Dinner. Grandma outdid herself. Rack of lamb, chicken breast, salmon, shrimp skewers. Mama did the early potatoes and strawberry shortcake.

Afterwards a little fresh air. Lian is mastering the tricycle. She finally grew enough to reach the peddles (with blocks.)

Progress Report

Hot Doggers. Our FCC has winter playdates at a mall with
a nice indoor playground - and lots of rides in the food court.

Lap sister. If Papa wont let you eat dinner sitting in his lap,

try your big sister, Princess Cinderella.

'

As of March 17, Lian has been home for 6 months now. Our teeny girl has made great progress. A child that couldn’t jump and was a bit wobbly on her pins at two-and-a-half is now jumping bean #2. She can hang from the monkey bars (with a mom safety net), climb the pole steps and walk the balance beam at the playground. She’s mastered Lela’s flip trick – face Mama holding hands, walk your legs up and do a back flip, and also does a somersault. She’s grown almost 2 inches, not exactly a growth spurt, but she is now wearing some 24M clothes while she is still two (for another 6 days.) And she’s gained 3 pounds - mostly muscle.
We’ve seen real progress since her surgery in January. She can now blow a whistle or bubbles and drink through a straw – that might not sound like much, but it means her palate extension was successful and she can control the flow of air from her mouth, and cut off air flowing through her nose. Her lip is healing and she now has control over her upper lip muscles and can form an O, sort of critical for speech. Her Speech Therapist is happy with her progress and she is really trying for the “plosive” consonants like P and B. Her speech still requires a lot of interpretation and she supplements with ASL and really good body language, but she is speaking in full sentences – in English. I wish I could be fluent in Mandarin in 6 months. Her receptive language is so good I forget that she’s only been building vocabulary for 6 months. She’s learning to count and getting colors, skills she had probably mastered in Mandarin, but had to re-learn. So now she has opinions about what she is going to wear. “Ink” and yellow are her favorites.
Her favorite item of clothing - shoes. The pink glitter ballet slippers are at the top of the list, but she will also bring me the black suede Mary-janes with a rhinestone buckle for all occasions. And since she can put on her own socks and shoes she often changes during the day. Her girly girl big sis is a seminal influence, and if Lela is in a dress, Lian wants one too (even if mom is usually in jeans, ok, yeah, with color coordinated socks, tops and jewelry – they had to get it from somewhere.) So I get to go out with two adorably turned out girls, from their fancy hair bows to zippy foot wear – other moms are awestruck and envious. She is proud to tell me, “Mama, I did it” when putting on her own clothes. When staying at Grandma’s house this week (while I had parts one and two of a root canal, lucky me) she took off her tights, changed her pull up and put the tights back on (Ok, they were inside out, but I was impressed.)
Yep, we’re still doing diapers and pull-ups. She did have a brief flirtation with big girl panties this month. She tried for 2 days, but after having a poopy accident decided to go back to the old reliables. That’s ok with me; I really wanted to wait for a week at home with no appointments – and maybe warmer weather. Her Curious George and My Little Pony undies will still fit.
Lian was evaluated for the School District special ed program. She’ll transition out of Early Intervention once she is three. However, she will be able to stay with her current therapists until fall. Despite playing shy/coy and saying perhaps a total of 5 words for three evaluators, she did very well. Fortunately/unfortunately since she is doing well in all areas except speech, she is only eligible for that service. A child has to have a 30% disability in at least 2 areas to qualify for a full program.
So how is it going? Lian has fit herself into our family in an amazing way. Her ability to accept this massive upheaval in her life and get on with her business is remarkable. She is a distinct person with opinions, strong opinions. In the last month she has made me her real Mama, and vies with Lela for snuggle time(which sometimes devolves into a push and shove time – I have now mastered the art of balancing one on each knee while keeping various arms and legs separate.) While she never rejected me, she was always a little distant. I know she loved her foster mama in China and it must have been hard to lose her, that she needed time. Now I have two snuggle bugs and I know she has fully attached.
Big sis Lela has reconciled with having Lian around, and has even told me, “I’m glad you got me a sister.” Lian wants to be just like her, which sometimes translates as laying hands on the sacred princess items. When I remind Lela to share she wails, “But it’s PRINCESS! It’s too special.” Lela’s “special” stuffed animals threaten take up about half her bed now. But she also has fits of generosity as when she gifted Lian with her number 2 Cinderella gown. She defends her from big kids playing too rough at music class(she’s the only one allowed to knock Lian over.) And Lian brings Lela her lovey when she is upset. They are real sisters now.
So what’s it like with two? MORE WORK. Anyone who says different lies like a rug. Laundry and dishes pile up at an astonishing rate, especially with finicky little darlings who eschew dirty clothing and need a clean bowl for every snack. Getting them out the door take a full hour, unless the screaming maniac mama puts in an appearance. I used to be early for appointments, and now consider within 15 minutes to be close enough.

I have discovered the Mother’s Curse does not have a genetic component. What, you say? That’s the one where your own mother in a snit over some minor infraction, shrieks at you, “One day you’ll have children, and they will be just like you. Then you’ll be sorry!” So I have Lela the Mouth paying me back for every precociously snotty remark that ever passed over my own lips. And Lian the Mule resisting common sense, persuasion, and house arrest because she is SURE she is right. Mom, I grovel at your feet and beg forgiveness – just lift the curse, PLEASE.

Mother's Day

Last spring while riding the train home from the city where I had just handed in the last of Lian's paperwork, I had nothing to do since I had gone through all my reading material while waiting at the Chinese Embassy. I got out a notepad and this poem started to flow and practically wrote itself. Adoption can be bittersweet as there is no gain without a loss.
http://www.emkpress.com/mothersday.html

Lian on left in yellow

Lian on left in yellow
about 14 months, with her friend Hailey

Lian at 6 months

Lian at 6 months
Who could resist that smile?

Lian at 4 months

Lian at 4 months
Right after surgery for her lip

Sha'anxi Province Map

Sha'anxi Province Map
HanZhong in lower left

China Map

China Map
Sha'anxi Province in center