Progress Report

Hot Doggers. Our FCC has winter playdates at a mall with

a nice indoor playground - and lots of rides in the food court.

Lap sister. If Papa wont let you eat dinner sitting in his lap,

try your big sister, Princess Cinderella.

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As of March 17, Lian has been home for 6 months now. Our teeny girl has made great progress. A child that couldn’t jump and was a bit wobbly on her pins at two-and-a-half is now jumping bean #2. She can hang from the monkey bars (with a mom safety net), climb the pole steps and walk the balance beam at the playground. She’s mastered Lela’s flip trick – face Mama holding hands, walk your legs up and do a back flip, and also does a somersault. She’s grown almost 2 inches, not exactly a growth spurt, but she is now wearing some 24M clothes while she is still two (for another 6 days.) And she’s gained 3 pounds - mostly muscle.
We’ve seen real progress since her surgery in January. She can now blow a whistle or bubbles and drink through a straw – that might not sound like much, but it means her palate extension was successful and she can control the flow of air from her mouth, and cut off air flowing through her nose. Her lip is healing and she now has control over her upper lip muscles and can form an O, sort of critical for speech. Her Speech Therapist is happy with her progress and she is really trying for the “plosive” consonants like P and B. Her speech still requires a lot of interpretation and she supplements with ASL and really good body language, but she is speaking in full sentences – in English. I wish I could be fluent in Mandarin in 6 months. Her receptive language is so good I forget that she’s only been building vocabulary for 6 months. She’s learning to count and getting colors, skills she had probably mastered in Mandarin, but had to re-learn. So now she has opinions about what she is going to wear. “Ink” and yellow are her favorites.
Her favorite item of clothing - shoes. The pink glitter ballet slippers are at the top of the list, but she will also bring me the black suede Mary-janes with a rhinestone buckle for all occasions. And since she can put on her own socks and shoes she often changes during the day. Her girly girl big sis is a seminal influence, and if Lela is in a dress, Lian wants one too (even if mom is usually in jeans, ok, yeah, with color coordinated socks, tops and jewelry – they had to get it from somewhere.) So I get to go out with two adorably turned out girls, from their fancy hair bows to zippy foot wear – other moms are awestruck and envious. She is proud to tell me, “Mama, I did it” when putting on her own clothes. When staying at Grandma’s house this week (while I had parts one and two of a root canal, lucky me) she took off her tights, changed her pull up and put the tights back on (Ok, they were inside out, but I was impressed.)
Yep, we’re still doing diapers and pull-ups. She did have a brief flirtation with big girl panties this month. She tried for 2 days, but after having a poopy accident decided to go back to the old reliables. That’s ok with me; I really wanted to wait for a week at home with no appointments – and maybe warmer weather. Her Curious George and My Little Pony undies will still fit.
Lian was evaluated for the School District special ed program. She’ll transition out of Early Intervention once she is three. However, she will be able to stay with her current therapists until fall. Despite playing shy/coy and saying perhaps a total of 5 words for three evaluators, she did very well. Fortunately/unfortunately since she is doing well in all areas except speech, she is only eligible for that service. A child has to have a 30% disability in at least 2 areas to qualify for a full program.
So how is it going? Lian has fit herself into our family in an amazing way. Her ability to accept this massive upheaval in her life and get on with her business is remarkable. She is a distinct person with opinions, strong opinions. In the last month she has made me her real Mama, and vies with Lela for snuggle time(which sometimes devolves into a push and shove time – I have now mastered the art of balancing one on each knee while keeping various arms and legs separate.) While she never rejected me, she was always a little distant. I know she loved her foster mama in China and it must have been hard to lose her, that she needed time. Now I have two snuggle bugs and I know she has fully attached.
Big sis Lela has reconciled with having Lian around, and has even told me, “I’m glad you got me a sister.” Lian wants to be just like her, which sometimes translates as laying hands on the sacred princess items. When I remind Lela to share she wails, “But it’s PRINCESS! It’s too special.” Lela’s “special” stuffed animals threaten take up about half her bed now. But she also has fits of generosity as when she gifted Lian with her number 2 Cinderella gown. She defends her from big kids playing too rough at music class(she’s the only one allowed to knock Lian over.) And Lian brings Lela her lovey when she is upset. They are real sisters now.
So what’s it like with two? MORE WORK. Anyone who says different lies like a rug. Laundry and dishes pile up at an astonishing rate, especially with finicky little darlings who eschew dirty clothing and need a clean bowl for every snack. Getting them out the door take a full hour, unless the screaming maniac mama puts in an appearance. I used to be early for appointments, and now consider within 15 minutes to be close enough.

I have discovered the Mother’s Curse does not have a genetic component. What, you say? That’s the one where your own mother in a snit over some minor infraction, shrieks at you, “One day you’ll have children, and they will be just like you. Then you’ll be sorry!” So I have Lela the Mouth paying me back for every precociously snotty remark that ever passed over my own lips. And Lian the Mule resisting common sense, persuasion, and house arrest because she is SURE she is right. Mom, I grovel at your feet and beg forgiveness – just lift the curse, PLEASE.