Sunday, December 30, 2007

Miracles

Once we were waiting
for a child to call our own.
A baby to hold in our arms,
to make our house a home.

I dreamed of a little girl,
who was grinning up at me,
with a great big gap-toothed smile,
as wide as it could be.

It’s almost Christmas time.
We got an e-mail one day.
It said, "We’ve gotten your referral.
Pictures are on the way."

Then we got a little picture.
We’d be a mom and dad.
Our baby’s features were perfect,
But her eyes were oh so sad.

I worried would she love me?
Would I know how to love her?
At this late date I was afraid,
I wouldn’t be a good mother.











Then in a room in China,
I held my baby tight.
I felt my heart exploding,
So this was love at first sight.

Those sad eyes learned to sparkle,
Feet to run across the floor.
Our darling is growing older,
She’s not a baby anymore.

We thought we had love for more
than our family of three.
Another child might be waiting,
but where could she be?

I remembered the gap-toothed girl
I’d seen once in my dreams.
She might still be waiting.
There are miracles it seems.

This time we were looking
At special boys and girls.
Their bodies might not be perfect,
But each soul’s a gleaming pearl.

You might have to look harder,
sometimes that’s all it takes.
But even if you can’t see it,
God doesn’t make mistakes.

We got an e-mail about a little girl,
With chubby cheeks and a happy grin,
Maybe not my dream girl,
But this one pulled us in.

The e-mail said she was turning one,
Today was her birthday.
She needed a family,
could we make it a special day?

We said, "Yes we want her,
she is the perfect one."
We’d have her home for Christmas.
Her life had just begun.











Well the best-laid plans can go wrong,
Eighteen months have gone by,
We’re again in a room in China,
And suddenly she’s arrived

A little girl dressed in yellow
Scared and very shy,
I waited for my heart to leap,
Then we both began to cry.

Now again it’s Christmas.
We’re a family of four.
Since that day in China,
My heart’s grown a couple sizes more.

My husband took some pictures
of our girls beside the tree.
I’m putting them on the computer,
and what did I see?

A little girl with a gap-toothed grin
was smiling up at me.
It seems some miracles are to close,
For us to truly see.













So I learned a lesson,
that love can never fail.
We’re surrounded by miracles and angels,
and God can use e-mail!

Strange but true. I "saw" this picture almost 4 years ago, but until now I didn't see that it was Lian. I think we are surrounded by miracles and angels in disguise (who may not even know they are angels), we're just too busy with our daily lives to notice. Sometimes you have to smacked upside the head (HELLOOOO, God to Jennifer, WAKE UP!) to see what's right in front of you.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Christmas is here

Dress #2, Cinderella, Cinderella!

The aftermath
Christmas Eve - Still being angels - Santa hasn't come yet




Family Service The Cherub Choir - Lela is peeking out from the back


Christmas Morning -Santa brought lots of goodies in the stockings


Grandma's House 9:30am Santa brought everything else to Grandma


Dress # 1, Princess Aurora

Annoyingly the pictures won't post in the order that I want, so imaging the first two are last. Xmas eve was the 5pm Family service with the kids choirs and carol sing, then back to Grandma's for dinner. Home to read "Twas the night before Xmas" and they did settle down right away. Christmas Day. I'm up as usual at 5, getting organized. Lian bangs to be let out at 7. 7:30 we wake up the princess who is still snoozing. They savage their stockings - Lela's favorite, tape - Lian's favorite, what ever she can get in her mouth. Then on to Grandma's House. Our friend Donna arrives from the city. No presents until after breakfast, then into the living room, where Santa has left a nice pile for each girl. Lian immediately decides she should have had Lela's princess rocking chair, but finally realizes the other pile is for her - all for her. Opening goes on till noon, Lian runs out of steam with several gifts left to go. She's never had a "real" Christmas with the massive overload of new toys, noise, paper, but she takes it pretty well. Jamie gets her to nap on the sofa while dinner is being prepared. Cinderella waltzes around the house, and by 3:30 we sit down to ham, green beans almondine, Brussell sprouts, salad, sweet potatoes Anna ( no sugar - just gobs of butter) rolls, and corn pudding. Followed by cheesecake and assorted candy. Finally home to bed, no bath (ignoring the candy cane stiffened hair.) As Lela said, "It's everything I ever wanted."

Jennifer has sent you a YouTube holiday video card

Happy Holidays


Watch "One Heartbeat at a Time"

A video created by CHI waiting mom, Angel. Click on the picture. I defy you to watch without crying. Lela and Lian are at 7:08



©2007 YouTube

Monday, December 24, 2007

Merry Christmas


Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. We've had a busy time, since I haven't done any wrapping yet, no time to wite a long missive. So I'm posting our Xmas letter, yeah, yeah, you've read some of it before.
It has been an exciting year – in a much better way than last year. As you recall from last year’s saga, Jamie began working at Strategic Insights and we were resuming progress on our second adoption of Han Lian aka Lian Elizabeth Rose. We filed our paperwork with the CIS/Homeland Security on 1/3/07, the last piece of paperwork in a massive paper chase. Jamie’s fingerprints were ok, and then they were rejected. And then we waited and waited. Lian turned two on March 28th. We finally got our approval on April 28th. By then our police clearances had expired so we went back to County police headquarters and then to the County notary to get an official seal for all our documents.
I dashed in to NYC to get the state seal and on to the Chinese Consulate for final approval. Ach – no County notary on our home study. Luckily the notary was certified in Manhattan too, so I only had to run 12 blocks uptown and then back – and then to the Consulate. The upshot, China got our complete dossier on May 17th, good thing since our medicals would have expired on May 30th.
And then we waited some more. A surprise update arrived in July (the only info we had was from when Lian was 6 months old). We found out that Lian had had her palate surgery and that she was tiny. Oops – I had already given away the 18 month summer clothes. On August 6th we received our Letter of Acceptance, just to make sure we still wanted to adopt, duh. Our travel approval came in record time, arriving August 23rd a slightly late birthday present to me, yeah! We all left for China on September 11th and spent three days touring Beijing. Next stop Xi’an (site of the Terra-cotta warriors) where we were united with Lian. Lastly to Guangzhou (which felt like old home week since we had spent two weeks there when adopting Lela). While there, we took a day trip to Lela’s institute in Shaoguan. We came home September 27th. All of this is (extensively) chronicled on our blog. Go to the September archives.
The newest member of the family is doing very well. She was in an exceptional institution, HanZhong Social Welfare Institute, where the special needs unit is run by English Langauge Association and supportd by Caring for China. She has almost no delays aside from those associated with her cleft lip and palate. The bad news is that the repairs in China need to be redone so she needs additional surgery. January 4th she goes in for nose/lip revision, ear tubes and tooth extraction. Repairing her soft palate will have to wait until early summer as the China repair needs time to heal. Meanwhile, she is starting speech therapy, going to toddler music, story time and Sunday school nursery. She is a bright, funny, affectionate little girl who hit the ground running. Her speech is limited due to the open soft palate, but she makes the best of it. Since her consonants are limited to m, n, h, w and approximations of l and t, it’s a little tricky to understand her. But Mama, Mine, and NO are loud and clear. She’s also picking up American sign language via Signing Time and has a vocabulary of about 60 words and signs, no cognitive language problems there, and much better than my Mandarin. She’s a whiz at puzzles and mechanical toys – maybe an engineer in the future? We’re looking at Easter in March ’08 for her baptism.
Lela is sprouting up. Having achieved a towering 38” she’s now legal for carnival rides and a full head taller than little sis Lian. Lela enjoys the bossing aspect of big sisterdom, but is not as crazy about all the sharing. She resumed Chinese class this fall. It’s not just language but culture with dancing and songs. Last spring her school performed at the Flushing mall to a 99% Chinese audience and brought down the house. She also goes to toddler music, story time, and pre-k Sunday school. She had her acting debut in the Sunday school production of Stone Soup in October, with the line, “I have eggplant.” We’re looking at a gymnastics class since she can put her foot on top of her head while standing up with no effort. Plus she has gotten into the social circuit, which means playdates and birthday parties. Lots of birthday parties – so hers in January will be a big one, with a piƱata, to which she has already invited half the kids on Long Island. She is still very much a princess, Cinderella to be exact. Her favorite colors are purple, closely followed by Cinderella blue and pink too. She is VERY articulate, loves big words and is good at picking up phrases like, “I can’t stand it” and “We’re out of here.” Is that nature or nurture?
After a somewhat rocky start they are getting along like sisters – playing, squabbling, sharing, hugging, shoving, tattling, engaging in secretive scheming (the meringue machination and the cereal caper come to mind.) How are we doing? Parenting two under-fives is an adventure, especially at 50 something (No, we are not their grandparents.) But it’s one we wouldn’t trade for all the tea in China. There are times when the volume is above safety regulations and now they can run in opposite directions. Conspiracy – we’d forgotten about that aspect of siblings. We also get to re-experience childhood – a great excuse to ride a giant slide, and the snuggly kisses, silly games, and pleasure of seeing them light up when they “get” something new.
Jamie is enjoying his now not so new job. They’ve done a lot of tough work – like the candy survey that required buying over 300 different packs of candy and gum. While waiting for our travel date, he attended to the various waterworks in our leaky house, including repairing all the fixtures in one bathroom. He is also the handyman at Mom’s home. Current project - restoring the 100 year old wrap-around porch with its 10 columns and railings with help from sister Christy, occasional visits from brother Kirby and nephew Evan, and Mom when she’s feeling guilty about watching the workers (she likes to scrape and sand.)
I am still waaaay over committed (Church Facility Mgr., Village Com. of the Environment, Audubon VP & Newsletter Ed., Board or Chair of RFMBPW, MBPC, CCPW, PWPC, LISSCAC, TNHEC, TNHWFA – there must be an anagram somewhere in that alphabet soup) and ready to be committed most days. But I am happy being a semi stay at home mom - meaning I stay at home AND work - interesting trying to conduct a phone call while two wailing demons, uh, children are trying to scale my legs. This and the sleep deprivation aspect of parenthood give insight into new possibilities for information extraction techniques: Talk, or we turn you over to the toddlers! I submitted photos and an essay that were accepted for the Love Without Boundaries’ new coffee table book, Love’s Journey 2, http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/ (We’re on page 195.) This is a terrific charity that helps the children in China’s Institutions, most of whom will NOT be adopted. The founder, Amy Eldridge, personally made the contacts for us to deliver a wheelchair in Beijing that was donated by a family at our church.
In July Lela and I were able to visit the rest of the Wilson clan in Wisconsin courtesy of sister Carrie and Southwest’s unbelievable $78 roundtrip fare. Sister Gillian and nephew Oscar came up from Chicago too. We had a great time and I was reminded of how child friendly Madison is. The zoo is free, and so is the parking, the beaches, the County Fair if you’re under 10 (and a stiff $5 if you are older) and dollar a ride day makes it easy on the pocket book. We also went to the Farmer’s Market and big open-air art show (cookie bribes being applied at regular intervals.) Lela also enjoyed the wading pool in the backyard and biking to the local play ground - on her 2-wheeler with training wheels. She had a blast on her new favorite carnival attraction, the giant slide (5 trips down with Aunt Carrie, 3 with mom). And she loves cotton candy.
This year we doubled our blessings. We have so much to be thankful for; our darling, lovable, smart, crabby, silly, loving little angels, our family and friends, our teeny and very humble home overflowing with plastic toys, books, pets, and herds of dust bunnies (do they qualify as pets?) The beautiful place we live with the beach and bay within minutes walk and the great library, the exquisite birds that frequent our yard, health and happiness, and that we can live without a lot of monetary wealth, good thing since we haven’t won the lottery yet.
Glad tidings to you and your kin, hold them close and rejoice in their uniqueness. Don’t forget the stranger and those in need. Live life with an open heart and hand, and be prepared to follow the path less taken—it can lead to unexpected joy.

Love Jennifer, Jamie, Lela and Lian

Monday, December 10, 2007

HO HO HO




With Christmas bearing down like a freight train, it's tough to be reflective when you have to shop, clean, decorate, shop, entertain, send cards, shop, wrap, mail, shop.The busyness can be wearing but it's a pleasure at times. This weekend was jam packed with fun. On Saturday we had our traditional morning out with Grandma P to buy a tree, then breakfast at the local diner. Then I rushed out to do some shopping, returning to pick up Lela and take her to her Chinese Class. We returned to Grandma's house and decorated her tree. Busy but nice. Sunday we had church immediately followed (after a 45 minute drive) by the annual FCC (Families with Children from China) Holiday Party. There were dozens of families with little girls and a sprinkling of boys from China, dressed in their holiday best. All those little girls twirling on the dance floor in red, black, pink and gold velvet , taffetta and tulle was a lovely sight.
Santa visited with gifts (provided by parents.) This year we finally have a Santa picture! Lela overcame her fears and now says she, "Loves Santa." Lian is pretty un-phaseable so a big guy in a red suit was just one more oddity of her new life, though she was not crazy about being scooped up on his lap. She's very self confident. After scoping out the scene she felt comfortable checking out the dance floor, food line, the DJ booth, and other peoples's plates, while periodically checking back with us to see if any interesting food had appeared in her absence. Lela picked at the brunch buffet but managed an enormous bowl of strawberry icecream with sprinkles and cherries for desert.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Coconspirators Indicted!

I guess everyone has days like this, but…..It was a dark and stormy night. Rising at 5am I had already gotten a jump on the day – I was showered, dressed and had read a few e-mails. By 7am the dawn had failed to break through the dense clouds and drizzle. Then the whine of little voices could be heard on the monitor – "mama, Mama, MAMA." We had company coming early, so I hustled them downstairs, got them stated on breakfast and whipped into the living room to vacuum. About 15 minutes later, I return to the kitchen to find that in my absence they had;
1. Gotten a new box of cereal off the counter and filled their bowls – and the table and floor.
2. Got the milk out of the fridge and topped off their bowls, and the table.
3. Tried to clean up the mess using a whole roll of paper towels. The dog cleaned up the cereal and milk on the floor.
4. Spotted a bag of Goldfish crackers on the counter, gotten it down, gotten out new bowls (we go through about 20 a day since our finicky little darlings can only use a clean bowl) and spoons and retreated to the powder room to consume. I think Lian was the dupe, since she was sitting happily on the potty stool when I found them, but Lela clearly knew she was in for it, as she had crammed herself behind the toilet to snarf down her ill gotten gains.
I wasn’t amused at the time, but am now pretty amazed at their ingenuity. But I now had 30 minutes to get them cleaned up and dressed, and re-clean the kitchen before Lian’s speech therapist showed up.
However, that was not all for the day. We had an action packed schedule – after the therapist, I stuffed them into raincoats and then into car seats and it was off to the races. Lian’s story time at 10:30, playing group at the church nursery at 11:30 (with lunch), home for nap. Latter on, when I thought I had them safely settled with snacks in front of a PBS Kids show, and was upstairs for few minutes getting a load of laundry, they again swung into action. Coming downstairs to an empty living room and then kitchen I experienced brief panic. Not in the powder room or coat closet. Not in the utility room - wait - that’s a foot sticking out from behind the hot water heater. And there they were, wedged behind the heater and furnace. Covered in the remnants of chocolate meringue cookies. Standing on what had been the dryer vent hose, now flattened. So much for clean clothes. Did you know that chocolate meringue + saliva = stains that require 5 go rounds in the washer to eradicate? I bet not.
The next day we had the cereal caper, with an entire (new) bag of cereal strewn across the living room. When grilled, Lela ratted out little sis Lian and I had to agree. The modus operandi was her highchair pushed up against the counter for access. Lela prefers to stand on cane-seated chairs, the better to poke holes with her sharp little tootsies. At least they are now acting like sisters. Somehow I had managed to forget the criminal conspiracy aspect of sisterhood, but thinking back…..
Maybe straight jackets are called for, but since I don’t think they make them in 18M and 3T, I’ll just order on for myself.

Mother's Day

Last spring while riding the train home from the city where I had just handed in the last of Lian's paperwork, I had nothing to do since I had gone through all my reading material while waiting at the Chinese Embassy. I got out a notepad and this poem started to flow and practically wrote itself. Adoption can be bittersweet as there is no gain without a loss.
http://www.emkpress.com/mothersday.html

Lian on left in yellow

Lian on left in yellow
about 14 months, with her friend Hailey

Lian at 6 months

Lian at 6 months
Who could resist that smile?

Lian at 4 months

Lian at 4 months
Right after surgery for her lip

Sha'anxi Province Map

Sha'anxi Province Map
HanZhong in lower left

China Map

China Map
Sha'anxi Province in center