Monday, December 24, 2007

Merry Christmas


Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. We've had a busy time, since I haven't done any wrapping yet, no time to wite a long missive. So I'm posting our Xmas letter, yeah, yeah, you've read some of it before.
It has been an exciting year – in a much better way than last year. As you recall from last year’s saga, Jamie began working at Strategic Insights and we were resuming progress on our second adoption of Han Lian aka Lian Elizabeth Rose. We filed our paperwork with the CIS/Homeland Security on 1/3/07, the last piece of paperwork in a massive paper chase. Jamie’s fingerprints were ok, and then they were rejected. And then we waited and waited. Lian turned two on March 28th. We finally got our approval on April 28th. By then our police clearances had expired so we went back to County police headquarters and then to the County notary to get an official seal for all our documents.
I dashed in to NYC to get the state seal and on to the Chinese Consulate for final approval. Ach – no County notary on our home study. Luckily the notary was certified in Manhattan too, so I only had to run 12 blocks uptown and then back – and then to the Consulate. The upshot, China got our complete dossier on May 17th, good thing since our medicals would have expired on May 30th.
And then we waited some more. A surprise update arrived in July (the only info we had was from when Lian was 6 months old). We found out that Lian had had her palate surgery and that she was tiny. Oops – I had already given away the 18 month summer clothes. On August 6th we received our Letter of Acceptance, just to make sure we still wanted to adopt, duh. Our travel approval came in record time, arriving August 23rd a slightly late birthday present to me, yeah! We all left for China on September 11th and spent three days touring Beijing. Next stop Xi’an (site of the Terra-cotta warriors) where we were united with Lian. Lastly to Guangzhou (which felt like old home week since we had spent two weeks there when adopting Lela). While there, we took a day trip to Lela’s institute in Shaoguan. We came home September 27th. All of this is (extensively) chronicled on our blog. Go to the September archives.
The newest member of the family is doing very well. She was in an exceptional institution, HanZhong Social Welfare Institute, where the special needs unit is run by English Langauge Association and supportd by Caring for China. She has almost no delays aside from those associated with her cleft lip and palate. The bad news is that the repairs in China need to be redone so she needs additional surgery. January 4th she goes in for nose/lip revision, ear tubes and tooth extraction. Repairing her soft palate will have to wait until early summer as the China repair needs time to heal. Meanwhile, she is starting speech therapy, going to toddler music, story time and Sunday school nursery. She is a bright, funny, affectionate little girl who hit the ground running. Her speech is limited due to the open soft palate, but she makes the best of it. Since her consonants are limited to m, n, h, w and approximations of l and t, it’s a little tricky to understand her. But Mama, Mine, and NO are loud and clear. She’s also picking up American sign language via Signing Time and has a vocabulary of about 60 words and signs, no cognitive language problems there, and much better than my Mandarin. She’s a whiz at puzzles and mechanical toys – maybe an engineer in the future? We’re looking at Easter in March ’08 for her baptism.
Lela is sprouting up. Having achieved a towering 38” she’s now legal for carnival rides and a full head taller than little sis Lian. Lela enjoys the bossing aspect of big sisterdom, but is not as crazy about all the sharing. She resumed Chinese class this fall. It’s not just language but culture with dancing and songs. Last spring her school performed at the Flushing mall to a 99% Chinese audience and brought down the house. She also goes to toddler music, story time, and pre-k Sunday school. She had her acting debut in the Sunday school production of Stone Soup in October, with the line, “I have eggplant.” We’re looking at a gymnastics class since she can put her foot on top of her head while standing up with no effort. Plus she has gotten into the social circuit, which means playdates and birthday parties. Lots of birthday parties – so hers in January will be a big one, with a piƱata, to which she has already invited half the kids on Long Island. She is still very much a princess, Cinderella to be exact. Her favorite colors are purple, closely followed by Cinderella blue and pink too. She is VERY articulate, loves big words and is good at picking up phrases like, “I can’t stand it” and “We’re out of here.” Is that nature or nurture?
After a somewhat rocky start they are getting along like sisters – playing, squabbling, sharing, hugging, shoving, tattling, engaging in secretive scheming (the meringue machination and the cereal caper come to mind.) How are we doing? Parenting two under-fives is an adventure, especially at 50 something (No, we are not their grandparents.) But it’s one we wouldn’t trade for all the tea in China. There are times when the volume is above safety regulations and now they can run in opposite directions. Conspiracy – we’d forgotten about that aspect of siblings. We also get to re-experience childhood – a great excuse to ride a giant slide, and the snuggly kisses, silly games, and pleasure of seeing them light up when they “get” something new.
Jamie is enjoying his now not so new job. They’ve done a lot of tough work – like the candy survey that required buying over 300 different packs of candy and gum. While waiting for our travel date, he attended to the various waterworks in our leaky house, including repairing all the fixtures in one bathroom. He is also the handyman at Mom’s home. Current project - restoring the 100 year old wrap-around porch with its 10 columns and railings with help from sister Christy, occasional visits from brother Kirby and nephew Evan, and Mom when she’s feeling guilty about watching the workers (she likes to scrape and sand.)
I am still waaaay over committed (Church Facility Mgr., Village Com. of the Environment, Audubon VP & Newsletter Ed., Board or Chair of RFMBPW, MBPC, CCPW, PWPC, LISSCAC, TNHEC, TNHWFA – there must be an anagram somewhere in that alphabet soup) and ready to be committed most days. But I am happy being a semi stay at home mom - meaning I stay at home AND work - interesting trying to conduct a phone call while two wailing demons, uh, children are trying to scale my legs. This and the sleep deprivation aspect of parenthood give insight into new possibilities for information extraction techniques: Talk, or we turn you over to the toddlers! I submitted photos and an essay that were accepted for the Love Without Boundaries’ new coffee table book, Love’s Journey 2, http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/ (We’re on page 195.) This is a terrific charity that helps the children in China’s Institutions, most of whom will NOT be adopted. The founder, Amy Eldridge, personally made the contacts for us to deliver a wheelchair in Beijing that was donated by a family at our church.
In July Lela and I were able to visit the rest of the Wilson clan in Wisconsin courtesy of sister Carrie and Southwest’s unbelievable $78 roundtrip fare. Sister Gillian and nephew Oscar came up from Chicago too. We had a great time and I was reminded of how child friendly Madison is. The zoo is free, and so is the parking, the beaches, the County Fair if you’re under 10 (and a stiff $5 if you are older) and dollar a ride day makes it easy on the pocket book. We also went to the Farmer’s Market and big open-air art show (cookie bribes being applied at regular intervals.) Lela also enjoyed the wading pool in the backyard and biking to the local play ground - on her 2-wheeler with training wheels. She had a blast on her new favorite carnival attraction, the giant slide (5 trips down with Aunt Carrie, 3 with mom). And she loves cotton candy.
This year we doubled our blessings. We have so much to be thankful for; our darling, lovable, smart, crabby, silly, loving little angels, our family and friends, our teeny and very humble home overflowing with plastic toys, books, pets, and herds of dust bunnies (do they qualify as pets?) The beautiful place we live with the beach and bay within minutes walk and the great library, the exquisite birds that frequent our yard, health and happiness, and that we can live without a lot of monetary wealth, good thing since we haven’t won the lottery yet.
Glad tidings to you and your kin, hold them close and rejoice in their uniqueness. Don’t forget the stranger and those in need. Live life with an open heart and hand, and be prepared to follow the path less taken—it can lead to unexpected joy.

Love Jennifer, Jamie, Lela and Lian

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Mother's Day

Last spring while riding the train home from the city where I had just handed in the last of Lian's paperwork, I had nothing to do since I had gone through all my reading material while waiting at the Chinese Embassy. I got out a notepad and this poem started to flow and practically wrote itself. Adoption can be bittersweet as there is no gain without a loss.
http://www.emkpress.com/mothersday.html

Lian on left in yellow

Lian on left in yellow
about 14 months, with her friend Hailey

Lian at 6 months

Lian at 6 months
Who could resist that smile?

Lian at 4 months

Lian at 4 months
Right after surgery for her lip

Sha'anxi Province Map

Sha'anxi Province Map
HanZhong in lower left

China Map

China Map
Sha'anxi Province in center